ASD son constantly jumping on furniture

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Actually, no----I wasn't just pulling from a couple of statements. I only "highlighted", a couple from the OP----but, I was taking subsequent posts of yours into consideration, as well. I read everything a couple of times; and, the FIRST one that I found disturbing, was where you said he had been doing it, basically, for 7 years----I wouldn't have let him get-away with it, for 7 DAYS----not even if he was LFA!!

I totally agree that one has to pick their battles----but, when one is affecting an entire family / that family's enjoyment, and so-forth, that's a battle I would choose. Yes, IMO, you should "fight this battle a bit harder".

You're right, I WAS judging your parenting!! You and NerdyGirl are of the same generation----a totally different generation, than mine----and since I'll never understand your generation's parenting, I'll leave y'all to it!

I actually find it funny that someone is judging me for being too lenient with my child--i have been criticised for being too strict with my children. I watch other people's kids around me and shake my head sometimes. My husband and i have received compliments from people in restaurants for our well behaved kids...i don't think we are doing it totally wrong.

But, not speaking in a snarky or sarcastic way, because i have a lot of friends from your generation and normally the ones who know me in person compliment my parenting...what would you suggest?

A vague "discipline your child!!" post is not really helpful to me. And rather off the point of helping him to find a good outlet for his urge to jump and land, which is the sensation he is looking for.

I do discipline. But this boy responds totally differently than my other kids although my other 2 have ADD and Tourette Syndrome and some ASD type characteristics. This child does not respond to consequences in the same way. It is like the part of his brain that says "stop!" when he encounters a consequence is lacking. This is something we have noticed from toddlerhood.

If you have helpful things for me, i am interested in hearing. But just because i am a younger generation doesn't mean i am automatically one of the usual mommie brigade from the park who gives in to every whim of her child.

For example: i have a friend who asks her child what they want for almost every decision--even taking his coat off when coming into a house. If he doesn't want to do it, she lets him let it on til he is "ready" to take it off. If he comes to my house without his mom, i just gently take the coat and hang it up without any fuss from him or me. If she is here, it is a major point of contention if anyone tries to remove the coat without his consent. Games like that, I don't play.

But if i don't have a place for my son to jump and he is destroying my furniture, i want ideas to give him an outlet for it. And you are free to judge me too, i guess. Make sense? I don't want to get into a fight over it or anything. Just wanted to clarify a bit.

My sister in-law fashioned a sensory room out of a spare room (both my nephew's room and what used to be my wife's room are so tiny that they were clearly meant to be one room and the decision to make it into two for more money seems to have been made at the last moment as the wall is different to the others and incredibly thin).

She bought special padded matting (it looked much the same as those alphabet puzzle pieces to me, only bigger) made from foam to protect him when he throws himself on the floor.

Would something like that work in your basement?

Alternatively, if you didn't mind having a trampette without a safety bar (he's already jumping on furniture without one, I assume) then you could get a pretty flat one that could possibly be slid under something else (a table, a bed?) or propped up against the wall.

Or even something like this with a collapsible safety bar to fold away:

A few other alternatives that might be a bit smallerr:

A pogo stick, either the ordinary type or one like this which has a foam base to make it more stable. Apparently it stretches to accommodate all heights.

A space hopper:


If he's into other types of motion, maybe an indoor swing which could be attached to a door frame of a less used room? Or maybe a spin disc (though these can be pricey).

Ah----well, THIS post has a much different "tone" to it, than your OP! Your OP, and subsequent posts, sounded, to me, like you were making excuses----and, I've seen it a THOUSAND times, where a mother raises a spoiled-rotten brat, and then wonders how he got that way; and, I'm like "Hello, how 'bout you consider what role YOU had in the child, becoming that way". You even said, yourself, that your OP was posted when you were in a frazzled state (last post, previous page).

It's interesting that you say your other kids have ADHD (there is no ADD, now, as of the DSM-V), because that's exactly what I was thinking that THIS son, had. Did they not all get diagnosed from the same doctor? I'm thinking there needs to be more / further analyses.

It DOES sound-like, now, that you discipline your kid. I even really appreciated that you weren't gonna let your friend's kid get-away-with that horse-hockey about when he wants to take-off his coat! I must ask this, though..... Why, ON EARTH, did you let him get-away with jumping on your furniture? I'm not meaning to be snarky, either----I truly am wondering----cuz, like I said, I would've never, in a MILLION years, allowed him to do that.

As for suggestions as to what to do----like I said, it's gonna be an even BIGGER battle, now, to get him to quit doin' it----the only thing I can think-of (other than Ritalin), is what tone you're using to admonish him. If you're saying, something like: "Bobby, honey, don't do that", he's gonna be thinking "I didn't hear anything"; but, if you go to the couch, when he's jumping on it, and "fiercely" grab him by his arm, and with voice raised and stern, and say: "Bobby, you are NOT to jump on the sofa!! !! !!", maybe that would be better----but, you have to actually GO TO the room where he is, get his attention, and tell him. Sure, he'll keep-on doin' it, a few more times, but he'll eventually get the message.

Here's something to think about..... You say people have complimented you about your children's behavior, in public----I'm assuming your 8-year-old's behavior, as well----so, why is it you were able to get him to mind, regarding his behavior in public, and not get him to mind, regarding his behavior, at home? That tells me, he IS "mindable"----and he DOES "respond to consequences in the same way", if they're CONSISTENT! Is it because those things (public behavior) you "drilled" into his head, more----and, did you drill them more, because in public people would be able to see him misbehave, and it would make you look bad----whereas at home, there was more of a "Who cares----we're in private, now, let 'im do what he wants"? I'm not admonishing you----I'm truly asking----cuz, alot of people feel this way, and it's totally understandable; HOWEVER, inconsistent disciplining is not good. He continues to do it, at home, cuz he knows he's gonna get-away with it, at home----for SEVEN years!

Conceptually curious, i had also forgotten about the pogo balls. I remember them from when i was a kid. i am thinking pogo ball or pogo stick. Pogo stick for outside, pogo ball for inside, maybe.

Have been walking around my house this afternoon looking and finding absolutely no corners i am willing to put a trampoline. Hubby also has a clutter thing...cannot stand extra clutter and we already push his limits on this one simply because people have stuff, even generally simple people like us.

Does your son have extra-special interests?

I bet he's a genius at, at the very least, a few things.

When I was 8, I was a "genius" at geography LOL

CampinCat,

I truly detest the current parenting trend of "letting your child lead you around by the nose" type; because if someone like me who truly does believe in training of my child still has an issue, in spite of said training, due to disability such as ASD, no one will give us the benefit of the doubt. I am automatically assumed to be the main problem until proven otherwise. This doesn't help me because it is hard enough to raise a kid with ASD. It is hard to let go of proven methods that worked with my other kids that don't work with this one.

On a side note on the diagnosis of all 3 kids--not all the same dr because Tourette's (my daughter) is diagnosed by a neurologist rather than a psychologist. My two boys' diagnoses are dyslexia and high functioning autism. This was from the same dr. My oldest has a lot of attention issues as well as dyslexia. His diagnosis was some time ago and possibly would be changed if we were to go through the process again. However, the school has worked well with us by his symptoms and a change of diagnosis seems unnecessary--so we have not pursued that. My youngest--the couch-jumper--has a diagnosis that seems to fit what i see in him. Again, school works more with areas where he has problems than a one-size-fits-all kind of program. His diagnosis is fairly recent.

The reason he jumps on the furniture at all is because he does it a lot, no matter what he is told...and yes, not always in a mommy-milque-toast voice.

As i said, it is an impulse combined with stimming, like his animal noises that he lets out at times. It's not that he totally can't help it...but it happens so fast that i can't stop it all the time. He just flies into the living room and onto the couch. The animal noises just come out. They remind me of my daughter's tics from Tourette Syndrome--she can hold them in if she tries, but sooner or later they have to come out. And sometimes she can't hold them in. This is his jumping and his loud animal noises--they just have to come out.

And yes, my kids' behavior in public is usually pretty good...but when my youngest's ASD symptoms get the best of him and he is overloaded and/or overstimulated, he has been known to have meltdowns in public too. Then i get no compliments on my parenting, let me tell you. Yes, he is "mindable," but within certain parameters--not overly stimulated, well fed and well rested. Take away any one of these factors and sometimes, though he tries, he cannot control himself. It is hard to watch him when he is trying so hard to behave, but the situation gets to be too much for him--he says, "Mom! I have to get out of here, I can't take it any more!" To see the look on his face, you know this is not a spoiled brat--he is a kid with genuine difficulties. We expect kind and respectful behavior in private as well as in public--it is also not an issue of inconsistent discipline.

That is the world from my perspective with this kid. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything but it is not always the easiest thing in the world.

Oh, my goodness, you would have a lovely chat with him. He loves his volcanoes, and one of his favorite things to do is to sit down with a globe and pick out his dearest volcanoes. (I use the term "dearest" because they are truly like well-loved friends to him.) Krakatoa is his very favorite. He can tell you all about how, in 1883, it exploded with the loudest explosion in recorded history. There is a book called, "The Day the World Exploded" by Simon Winchester written for older kids but his copy is worn and dog-eared and well loved.

He is also a very good pianist for his age. He has not played that long, but has a very good ear and plays his own compositions as well as the lessons in his book. They are not just "a kid banging on the piano"--he plays it over and over til he is satisfied with the notes, then over and over til he has it learned. It is pretty cool to watch him. He also has a good singing voice and has been singing on key since about age 2. We laughed at him the first time we heard him hear himself hit a sour note as he was singing...and then you could hear him stop, evaluate, and correct his pitch. He was 2 at the time. He also has perfect pitch. I can tell him to sing a "G" and then find the note on the piano...and it's right on pitch.

So yeah, the boy has his talents as well as his challenges. We love him a lot.

Yep...we would have cool discussions!

In the old days, adults were trusted more with kids. It's too bad we have this climate of distrust nowadays. When I was Junior High, I used to hang out with this guy--who let me go on and on about the Evolution of Man. But my mother didn't trust him. One day, I went to see him without her permission--and she got upset. The guy wasn't a pervert, though. He was the Resource Guy at school.

He needs that sort of oddball person to identify with him. These sorts of people tend to calm kids down, and give them confidence. (Of course, the caveat is that you do have to cautious, though).

Nope...I don't have that sort of musical talent---I had guitar lessons when I was nine, but I backed out because I wanted to play baseball (though I sucked at baseball).

Nerdygirl, who posts here rather frequently, is a composer. I think Basso is an opera singer (though I'm not sure of that).

He does well with certain types of people--usually those who are good listeners, and don't mind his quirks. You are right, they calm him down. I am fortunate to have a lot of good people in our community. I still have to be a bit cautious, but i have found trustworthy people among friends and family who do well with him.

Well, this has been a nice chat with you, KK and the rest of you, but i need to tend to some things with my family. Merry Christmas, all!

Merry Christmas to you, too! And to your large family!

A 1,500 Sq ft house is not small. I grew up in 1K Sq ft with 5 people, and my current home is 800 Sq ft with 3 people.

I have a mini tramp in my basement. It folds in half for storage. It is like the blue/ black one in a PP message.

If my furniture was being broken, something would go to make space for the mini tramp. So you got a lot of stuff. Lots of Americans do. Yeah the weight room and canning space is nice. Who wouldn't like all that? But you can't have it all right now. Busted up furniture/lose your mind over correction him OR lose some stuff and keep your sanity.

It sucks being a parent, but sometimes you have to give up things (for a while) to help your child get on track.

My friend is a professional organizer, and she says the average suburban home can lose a good 40-50% of items and never mess it.

If you can't budge for reorganizing, how about a bouncy ball with a handle that you can sit on? I think redirecting to a mini tramp would be WAY easier, but I'm not the one living your life.

As much of a problem as size with my house is the layout. I understand about people having too much stuff. I won't say we don't still have some things we don't need, and if you read my post on clutter, you would see that i am in the process of cleaning stuff out that we no longer need. If i cleaned out 40-50% of our stuff, we would most definitely miss it! Some people would have no beds...little things like that. Most of the things in our living space, we use on a frequent basis. What we don't use, we get rid of. Most people who professionally organize homes are working for a clientele who would not have a home like mine, so i honestly don't have a lot of faith in the opinion of a professional organizer on the matter. We also are rural and need storage for seasonal things such as canning, gardening, a deep freeze, etc. We don't have a walmart 5 minutes down the road.

But the layout...my house is over 100 yrs old and rooms are small and narrow. There are usually only one or two workable solutions for arranging furniture in any given room, til we fit the larger pieces around doors, windows, and big cast iron radiators. It is not so much an issue of sq. ft of space, as i look around--but much space is wasted in older homes and it is simply not financially feasible for us to gut the house right now, tear all down to the old lathe-and-plaster walls, and move partitions around to make floor space work better. It is something i would like to do in the future but can't do it now.

The basement is unfinished, and not a good option for much other than the few things we have in it. It is not a full basement under the entire house; and besides being small, is also is divided into small rooms. We think, from checking the foundation and from some visible signs such as a place where the steps were moved, that the house was built sort of "piecemeal." My grandfather remembers it being remodeled in the 1930's but says it is much older than that. Almost looks like there was a very small log structure in the middle which was added to, piece by piece. It is pretty neat if you like curious old homes, if awkward to arrange furniture in.

But anyway, rambling again....i guess i didn't need to defend myself and my home organization. I am not the world's best housekeeper but not the worst either. After my exchange with CampinCat on discipline, and now this reply from Tawaki, i am seeing that my generation is not assumed by the older generation to be possessed of much common sense. I am not so airheaded. If i am posting with a question, it is because i have explored all the options that came to mind and am still coming up dry and was looking for help or another idea that i didn't think of. Sigh. Suffice it to say this is not your usual suburban home.

But i believe i got my question answered and i have been given some ideas for some portable bouncy toys that may help out. So thanks for the replies.

Sounds like you live in an interesting area. I'm thinking the Great Plains.....maybe western Kansas or thereabouts....though I'm also thinking western PA for some reason.

Do what my parents did me and my brothers: beat the living sh!t out of him. It is absolutely true: MIGHT MAKES RIGHT! The faster he learns that lesson, the better off he's going to be!