having children

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I am an Aspie mom, married to an Aspie dad, and (surprise, surprise!!) we have an Aspie daughter. I think being an Aspie mom is a Herculean challenge. However, it can be done, and I must agree that it is probably easier for an Aspie to raise an Aspie than an NT. I am thrilled with my daughter, and, not to be rude, but, would have likely been disappointed with an NT child. I value my Aspieness, and have realized in retrospect that all of the important people in my life have been Aspies or had significant Aspie traits. So, if you are proud to be Aspie, then don't worry about having Aspie kids. If you aren't, then think carefully, as they say autism if over ninety percent genetic.

I would respond to the suggestion that it is morally wrong to bring a child into this world who has non-nt problems with my opinion, which is that it is morally wrong to deny someone the right to live because they aren't just exactly like everybody else, or fitting into a narrow group of "acceptable diversity." This world that claims to celebrate our differences is dead-set against any difference that might put them out or make them look like they might not be the finest creatures in the universe. They like "uniqueness" that they can see and has a catchy beat.

One thing I've learned about people is that they are very magnanimous until somebody crosses them, acts in a manner they consider willfully difficult... then without further investigation they conclude the other person's fault or flaw gives them the right to treat that person any way they like. There are only equal human rights for humans that fit the mold. So I guess we're not human...

Everyone has something to overcome. Even NTs. Some more than others... but I believe we each get the problems we need. I wouldn't trade for anything. Who knows what, of the gifts I have being the way I am, I'd have to sacrifice if I was to suddenly get to wish myself NT?

I find it arbitrary to terminate a kid just because they're different... arbitrary, selfish, and unfair. My parents could have decided to off me because they didn't want a 9th kid. A lot of people wouldn't blame them. But here I am, and my husband, poor deluded soul, is glad of it.

I'm raising two fabulous throw away kids. One definitely Aspie, one physically sexually and emotionally abused. They both have issues to overcome in their young lives, but I wouldn't trade either one for the proverbial million [ I'll let you have the dog for a lot less]. If I were young enough to have children again I would and I would take whatever was given to me. Raising any child tests any adult to their limit, plan on it. If you want children do it, if you don't want them get yourself neutered or spayed and stop worrying about passing your genetic material on to future generations, they don't need it. Life is a gamble, deal the cards and play the hand you are dealt.

earthcalling where are you?

Hi Corsarzs,

you are a very good person. And unusually sane, for a human being... I like your comments a lot. May you live a long and happy life.

I personally wouldnt mind an AS child, I would accept it.

I am an aspie,my husband has aspie traits. We have had 4 kids, the oldest is dx as HFA/Aspergers,severe conduct disorder,depression,pdd-nos, the second is nt, the third has aspie traits, and the fourth is nt. We wouldn't have it any other way,we are actually a happy family! Very glad we had kids ,they are a handfull and we have our ups and downs,but well worth it.

Thanks for the reply and kind words Corsarzs.I'll check this out soon."Can I call you Dad?" Z's story.

I hope that, if my child did turn out like me, he or she wouldn't get a teacher who destroyed everything good about them. I want a child of mine to be so much more than I ever was. I know that sounds neurotic. I better stick to having cats.

Parents are made, not born.

Speaking as a parent with 1 NT, 1 ASPY, each child is different in different ways, and as a parent we deal with issues differently.

As the parent moulds the children, the children mould the parents. It's a two way street, and you stick with the things that work, and change the things that don't work.

You tend to get better at it over time.

Life is a crap shoot, and children are one of the things that make life worth living.

I am fortunate to have a loving wife and family,
and I thank God every day.

Have your own, adopt.... it make no difference.

You will learn to be a parent, not the worse one, not the best one.

If you turn your aspy powers toward it, you will be successful.