My 5 yr old is driving me nuts!

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Thanks so much somanyspoons! I'll check out the link. And the patience thing is crazy! It's like a magical switch flips because I used to be the most impatient person ever.

Krelliott4 - it sounds like you're upset. I hope that you reconsider. But no, you don't know how a person with autism feels. I don't either and no one can who isn't on the spectrum. But I don't believe your first few sentences. You have something to contribute and maybe something to learn too. *Trigger alert* By the way, ABA gets a lot of crap here, but we did a modified version of it and it was helpful and fun for my boys. Everyone has their own opinions and triggers and ideas. Sift through them, try to critically evaluate them, then take what makes sense for you and your family. That's the best advice that I can give. Good luck and hope to see you around here!

Ok, to clarify for anyone confused, some of this is an extension of this thread: viewtopic.php?t=331437 and that is the reason for the conflict here, apparently.

Krelliott4, it is not that your thoughts are unwelcome it is that you have not observed enough before posting (especially on the main side of the board) It would be like going to another country without knowing the customs and accidentally offending because you don't know what is considered offensive.

ABA is a very touchy subject here, because many of the adult/older teen diagnosed autistics here have been treated with forms of it, that were harmful to them. So introducing yourself on the general board as an ABA graduate student is going to trigger some people and lead to assumptions being made. It is an autistic board and they view it as their home, and what is meant by you as helpful, is to them a violation of their space.

On the parent board it is a little different because some of the parents have found parts or all of (modern) ABA to be useful. Some use a comprehensive version, but more modern than what the adults are familiar with, which do not include the techniques of the past. So ABA is not necessarily a dirty word (or acronym) here, but the enthusiasm of a grad student, is likely to stand out.

In general the emphasis here, is on figuring out what works for each individual child. For some, that may be the kinder, gentler form of ABA (or parts of it used cafeteria-style) or something entirely different.

Thanks for the backstory, ASDMommy. It's super hard when baggage from other threads gets dragged over.

And no, you didn't offend at all! That book has been mentioned multiple times here and I have several friends who've used it successfully with their children, ASD or not. They swear by it. I didn't fully explain that my child's behaviors are worse when he's tired, etc, and I didn't mention disregulation at all. So, it was my failure to accurately explain what was happening. My boys also have receptive language delays, so some of the reasoning tactics that a parent would typically try are out of the window. They're 5 (poor reasoning in general at this age) and receptive delayed (don't know if this is just a delay or an auditory processing issue at this point). So, I get concerned that the book is premature over here. I don't know, though. What do you think?

Oh I havent left and don't plan on it. I am reading replies. I guess I just don't understand who is allowed to comment and such on a post that seems like asking for advice? So if only those who are the spectrum or understand those on the spectrum are the only ones to comment, how is that even fair?

I read the post and did not read the replies but want to make a suggestion....a suggestion that I would try in hopes that it could help this parent out NOT to get the feedback it did.

Social stories work for some and could possibly pair my suggestion with a social story? Possibly even role play not repeating or doing things twice?

Oh that's right....my words are useless here.

Unicorns - you're on the parenting side of the forum, and that's my child that you're talking about. He's wonderful and I love him very much. Please do not insult him again. I'm going to assume that you don't know how pissed off a mother can get, so I'll stop here. On the other hand, if you're trolling, please move on.

Krelliott4, thanks for the advice. You've gotten some good advice and positive feedback in return as well. You should probably actually think about it instead of sulking. You can't help anyone or hear anything if you're stuck feeling sorry for yourself. I'm in mom mode, so apologies for speaking so plainly.

I am not feeling bad, it was sarcasm and I am curious to see what the know it all replies with. I am going to keep checking this thread out to see progress and what not. I also attempted to PM you but not sure if it worked lol

Thanks somanyspoons. The post made no sense, so I was super confused.

Yeah--totally not something appropriate or true -- Ridiculous. Your kid sounds great to me.

Thanks ASDMommy! Despite our challenges sometimes, he really is a sweet and special kid. And he's my buddy.

Of course it is! I don't know any parent who doesn't occasionally get flustered by the task of raising kids. Personally, I suspect he and I would get along just fine. My 4 year old nephew is also a very emotive, sensitive kid. I have a great time rial-ling him up before handing him back to his parents. A little karma rebound from all the torture when his father and I were kids together. (Just kidding... Mostly.)

Ahhh, the uncle effect! Ha! In my house it's the grandmother effect. She hops him up then scoots out, cackling the whole way!! Lol! So diabolical... And the worst part is that she's a total rockstar in his eyes!! ! Sigh... Payback's a b***h and this is hers.