Smelena wrote:
My boys are good with staff (because the staff at our school are brilliant!), but will have a good argument with adults if they don't agree.
Our psychologist explained this is because people with Asperger's view everyone as equal. They don't see hierarchies.
This is why kids with Asperger's are perfectionists - they think they should be able to perform to the same level as adults (because they don't realise adults have more experience).
Also, this is why they 'talk back' - because view everyone as equals.
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Also, my child has been accused of blaming others for his mistakes, but I think it's more a theory of mind issue and poor perspective taking. He doesn't lie well at all and is usually very honest. He might embelish a bit, but usually doesn't lie.
This sounds like both my sons!
Helen
I think that's true. However, I think that it's a sign that Aspies are more intelligent than most people. Everyone SHOULD be equal, heiarchies only get in the way of things. Most of the time I complained to my SPED moderator, that they weren't helping me because they weren't. So does that mean because they are higher up, they're exempt from doing their job of meeting my needs?
Alot of the trouble, is that people who are in higher places behave very immaturely because they feel they're in a position where they can get away with it. So for example if someone says, to someone in SPED they're being bullied, they're told how much work the moderator has to do. Do you think this is at all an appropriate response to someone who is suffering and in need of intervention?
Adults might have more experience, but Aspies tend to act older than their years. Experience does not = intelligence. Most of the time Aspies do perform as well as Adults, heard of the gifted program? The problem is that Aspies who have a understanding as if they are older, expect to have the same rights as someone who does. To them, being talked down to if they're 10 is the same as someone treating them like a child at 20.
There needs to be an understanding that, Aspies tend to be wiser beyond their years, and clearly have much more of a sense of morals than most NTs do. Like taking treat others as you would want to be treated literally. Imagine not understanding why it's ok for some students to not be punished for obeying rules, yet you are punished for disobeying them? It's not an issue of equality, it's a clear sense that there is injustice.
I had and have similar issues. As far as I'm concerned, all people are the same to me (except royalty and dignatories). If they say stupid things, they've got to expect that I will do what they tell me if I MUST but they won't get much respect.
However, I am always very LOYAL to people I trust and respect but this has to be earned to a degree.
As a child, it didn't take long for me to realise I was brighter than some of my teachers. So if they said something ridiculous, I tended to question it. The oppositiion took the form of mule-headedness and quiet rebellion unless I was pushed and then it became stroppiness.
I think it is silly to forbid computer use if kids meltdown. Better to let them calm down quietly somewhere and then not mention the outburst unless the child wants to talk it over. We don't tend to understand consequences much anyway so the type of punishment that might work on an NT child eg. getting grounded/no computer doesn't affect us in the same way.
03 Nov 2007, 12:02 am
