Refrigerator Mother???

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I think the refrigerator mother referres to a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- extremely manipulative and controlling
- can't function without drama, being the centre of attention, opinionated
- treats the child only as an extention of herself, you can never leave her to become your own person
- hyper critical, nothing is ever good enough
- keeps you dependent on her by spoiling you at a young age
- if the child is difficult she uses it to gain sympathy for herself, plays the martyr (you are always hurting her)
- loved the fact that I got better marks than my peers, so she can feel superior over her own siblings
- treats you like a wimp because you can't stand up to her, she knows she is the primary care giver
- invasive, threatening when no-one else is around
- illogical stubborness
- grandiose delusions about herself
- only shows a false self to others

My mother's mental illness contributed a great deal to my own difficulties dealing with AS. She has used the situation to benefit her in every way.

I am not saying all mothers are like that, but was certainly in my case.

Ironically, refrigerator mothers are probably on the spectrum as well - from there the genetic link.

When I was a teenager I read about this as an example as a defunct theory. I used to have fun telling my mom that "I am like this because you are a bad mother". It was one of her books I read about it in and she was an early childhood development specialist, so I knew she knew it was bunk, but it annoyed her just to hear me say it which was fun.

And yes I was little brat at times, we have to have fun in our own special ways sometimes...

Well, I think if I had said the same thing, my parents would have taken it literally.

But thank you.

I had a refridgerator mother.

Try getting someone to believe that when you're a child though. They'd rather laugh at you for claiming your mom hits you if you try to hug hert, yells at you every time you open your mouth, complains about you every single time you enter her vision etc than doing anything that would keep you safe.

The real sad par tis I know that hasn't changed, because I see online posts by people all the time who knowabuse is going on but won't report it because "they don't want to get involved." No doubt those are the same people that go around complaining about all the criminals in their area.

I suppose my father would also be considered a refridgerator parent. I don't recall him ever hugging me, but in that case he was usually filthy so I didn't want him hugging me. At best, he'd buy me one pizza every 6 weeks or so. At worst, I'd go a few months without him providing any food. But at least he was almost and thats why i choose to live with him rather than my mom. astill i learned pretty quickly to keep him far away from my friends if i wanted those people to stay my friends



ETA: Manchausen syndrome sounds like just about every person on my mom's side of the family. Try being at a family gathering where 5 people want to be the constant center of attention. it isnt fun.

Refrigerator Mother, my arse. My mum was very caring and she gave me lots of love and attention. I was also very affectionate, as well. We gave each other hugs and sang children's songs, together. She was alway playing with my little sister and I.