How do you handle inappropriate remarks made in public?

Post Reply New Topic

Most situations don't allow for explanation at the time - at least in my experience. I use a social cuing system with my son, so I give the cue and then we discuss it in a more appropriate setting. Most of the time, that works because it's usually about someone or something he found interesting and wants to talk about.

Great comment, I hadn't thought of that. My husband and I have a cuing system too. If he thinks I'm off on an inapprorpriate topic, he'll kick me, gently, of course, under the table. The funniest thing is that very often when we end up away and alone, my first question to him is... Why were you kicking me? As if I have no idea that the cuing system was even in place.

That's exactly what I'm looking for.
My daughter will come home from school - upset about something that happened during the day. It can take up to an hour of discussing the whole "scene of the incident" before we find out what set her off was her own doing by way of an inappropriate remark. At least at home we have control of this. We can steer her away from stuff like this.

It would be a good idea to calmly ((do not, I repeat, DO NOT get upset or even start raising your voice, even though I am not a parent, I've looked back on my parents teaching me this sort of thing, one of the things that rarely works with an ASD child, especially if they're hypersensitive to pitch, is raising your voice. That tends to send an 'oh dear, they're mad at me, eek!' Impulse in their brain, at least it does for me.)) Explain to them that saying such a thing is not nice, they're allowed to think what they want, but they shouldn't say it. Oddly enough, my dad tends to comment quietly to me about people's body-weights. "Gee, she's fat" he's not even Autistic, and I have to remind him that isn't nice....

But all the same, don't say it very loudly, don't humiliate your child in any way in public, it's bad for their already vunerable esteem, just quietly tell them right off the top it's not nice to say, and then afterwards, when you two are alone, tell them just why it is not right to say.