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Fake vomiting

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kramer1
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30 Nov 2008, 6:15 pm

MomofTom wrote:
kramer1 wrote:
leechbabe wrote:
We've been experimenting with different styles of cutlery to see what helps minimise mess. Heidi is so fuss about food she wont even touch her fork / spoon / knife to certain things.

I've found that using a spoon works better than fork for some foods like rice (and I assume scrambled eggs, although Heidi wont touch those). Once we have conquered using a spoon to get food from plate to mouth without spillage then we can move onto a spork (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork), then finally a fork.

Not all cutlery is created equal either, Heidi seems to prefer a heavier style of cutlery with a more substantial base to hold onto.

Which leads me to wonder how your stepson is cleaning up the spill. Cleaning up after yourself is a valuable skill to learn. Maybe if he had a special pair of gloves he could wear for cleaning up so his skin was not having to touch the eggs? That is if after all you have read in this thread you still feel that you need to continue with the cleaning up stuff. Maybe he could choose the gloves himself and they are just for his use?


He cleans them up barehanded after a few dramatics. That's my whole point....his antics are a trained response to get out of doing anything considered work. This response has been ingrained in him over his first 10 years of life. Yeah, some help has been necessary, but not to the extremes that he was previously receiving.

Almost all of the children I read about on here have these trained reactions. I'm fine with some social trained reactions because they're necessary and we even use some of those on a daily basis.....I'm not fine with the ones stemming from laziness, irresponsibility, and just general malaise. It's just not acceptable. And guess what? Almost all of the fake trained responses have been sniffed out, exposed, and corrected in a very short period of time. I encourage some of you to try the same. Your life will be much easier and your child will be better prepared to lead a normal life at home and at school. Hell, it's your responsibility to help them function as normal as possible.


Kramer1, one of the first things my son's therapists told me is that all behavior is communication. As much as strong-willed you think your girlfriend's child is, he still has feelings. I'm happy to hear that you have encountered some success in a short amount of time. It is the cost to this boy's self-esteem that I question. Please be open to the possibility that his actions are trying to communicate that he has sensory difficulties.


I guess I just don't understand the difference between eating and touching. He'll put them in his mouth and swallow but won't pick them up? He's been screwed up by grandma his first ten years and I attribute most of these similar occurrences to pure laziness.



Electric_Kite
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30 Nov 2008, 6:42 pm

kramer1 wrote:
I guess I just don't understand the difference between eating and touching. He'll put them in his mouth and swallow but won't pick them up? He's been screwed up by grandma his first ten years and I attribute most of these similar occurrences to pure laziness.


You really are too quick to think the worst of the kid. It makes you come across awful mean here. I get you that he should clean up after himself, it's that you accuse him of laziness and faking that's offensive.

Do you really not see the difference between eating mashed potatoes with a fork and squishing them up in your hands? You would happily eat scrambled eggs with your fingers? I really don't understand why you don't see the difference.

How about you let the kid clean up his spilled eggs with a dustpan and brush?

My parents bought a dog. Pretty much the family tradition that a high-chair comes with a puppy, though.



DW_a_mom
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30 Nov 2008, 11:09 pm

kramer1 wrote:

I guess I just don't understand the difference between eating and touching. He'll put them in his mouth and swallow but won't pick them up? He's been screwed up by grandma his first ten years and I attribute most of these similar occurrences to pure laziness.


When you get the opportunity to raise a child from infancy, you'll discover that eating and touching and all sorts of sensory differences can be noticed by a child, any child. But AS kids are particularly affected, because many of them have heightened senses that we cannot even conceive of. My son smells things and hears things that I'm not capable of noticing. Fingers and mouths are very different body parts in how they experience and transmit. It is different, and much more so to someone with AS. If you want him to overcome it, you first have to recognize and understand it. I'm not going to tell you that you can't try to push him past it; I know you too well for that. But give him a little recognition for having an issue that is probably real to him, even if you cannot relate. I've found that one little ounce of recognition helps motivate my son to move past his difficulties.


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kramer1
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01 Dec 2008, 7:03 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
kramer1 wrote:

I guess I just don't understand the difference between eating and touching. He'll put them in his mouth and swallow but won't pick them up? He's been screwed up by grandma his first ten years and I attribute most of these similar occurrences to pure laziness.


When you get the opportunity to raise a child from infancy, you'll discover that eating and touching and all sorts of sensory differences can be noticed by a child, any child. But AS kids are particularly affected, because many of them have heightened senses that we cannot even conceive of. My son smells things and hears things that I'm not capable of noticing. Fingers and mouths are very different body parts in how they experience and transmit. It is different, and much more so to someone with AS. If you want him to overcome it, you first have to recognize and understand it. I'm not going to tell you that you can't try to push him past it; I know you too well for that. But give him a little recognition for having an issue that is probably real to him, even if you cannot relate. I've found that one little ounce of recognition helps motivate my son to move past his difficulties.


I am raising a child from infancy. My son, Wyatt, is 2 1/2 years old.



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01 Dec 2008, 1:49 pm

kramer1 wrote:
When my gf's son eats something he doesn't like he simulates like he's vomiting. This morning he ate some chewy bacon or something and darn near caused himself to choke to death.

Why? and is this typical?


Coming in late on this....He's ten? Because he gets a rise out of whomever's at the table? (He's trying to push people's buttons, perhaps?) Or he may have decided that this is an appropriate way to register his distaste for the food. He may not "get" that it's annoying to other people. If it bothers you, you might have to tell him that it is inappropriate behavior and then institute some sort of penalty for the behavior, if it continues.

Kids test the adults in their lives. Quite a lot. You may not even realize you're being tested. Perhaps it's that - a "will the response always be the same" or maybe even a "how far can I push him before he blows up?" We have to test the environment a lot, sometimes. Just to make sure what we think is "real" is real. That won't translate well, but perhaps you can sort it out.

Typical of a ten year old kid, probably. Wait until you get to the "gross bodily functions and noises" stage of "humor" ....



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01 Dec 2008, 2:27 pm

kramer1 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
kramer1 wrote:

I guess I just don't understand the difference between eating and touching. He'll put them in his mouth and swallow but won't pick them up? He's been screwed up by grandma his first ten years and I attribute most of these similar occurrences to pure laziness.


When you get the opportunity to raise a child from infancy, you'll discover that eating and touching and all sorts of sensory differences can be noticed by a child, any child. But AS kids are particularly affected, because many of them have heightened senses that we cannot even conceive of. My son smells things and hears things that I'm not capable of noticing. Fingers and mouths are very different body parts in how they experience and transmit. It is different, and much more so to someone with AS. If you want him to overcome it, you first have to recognize and understand it. I'm not going to tell you that you can't try to push him past it; I know you too well for that. But give him a little recognition for having an issue that is probably real to him, even if you cannot relate. I've found that one little ounce of recognition helps motivate my son to move past his difficulties.


I am raising a child from infancy. My son, Wyatt, is 2 1/2 years old.


Oh, sorry - I didn't realize you also had another child.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).