My daughter thinks I abuse her

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She believes tapping=hitting. I know this now. There have been other physical things she misinterprets too. She was playing hacky sack w/ her dad & he kicked her playfully on the butt pretending to try & kick the hacky sack & that really upset her that he dad *kicks* her. He has not done that again, but it is that sort of literal interpretation that we are having trouble with. I just never knew she was serious, I thought it was in jest. We are a very silly playful family.

I won't be tapping her anymore, that is a given. I am going to second guess everything I say & do for a very long time I am sure.

My daughter's "drifting off" is not disassociation, it's daydreaming, cartoons & video games.

As for uncomfortable, she finds all direction and discipline uncomfortable. I do not know of any child that likes it.

Tiker is also kind of prone to misinterpreting opinions and facts and making generalisations.

I think it's the literal thing that is the problem. PLEASE try not to take it so personally, just move on, understand how truly literal she is, and keep working to improve things. That CPS figured out it wasn't abuse tells you it really is all OK.

Does you daughter get any therapy or instruction to help her ease up on the literal thing? It sounds like she does take it quite far. This could cause quite a few problems for her as she grows older.

I think every parent worries about CPS. We just have to trust that enough people have "been there, done that" to know the difference between real warning signs for abuse, and the stuff that happens with perfectly normal, happy and healthy kids.

And glad to hear you are finding a new way to get your daughter's attention.

Does you daughter get any therapy or instruction?
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She was, but is not right now. We (family, school & pros) felt like sh was at a point where it was not necessary. We were working on getting her back into therapy when all of this came up to the surface. She is getting hormonal & that is why I thought it was time to start the therapy again.

Thank you to everyone who is responding to this thread. I am reading each and every word (several times ). Lots of exhaling...

We just have to trust that enough people have "been there, done that".
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When I told my daughter's principal what had happened he busted out in laughter, he said each & every child in the school had threatened, at one time or another, to turn their parents in to CPS, He said "Leave it to our little miss Molly" to be the one to do it. I did not think it was funny at the time, nor do I now, I know it will make a good story someday though. I can see me relaying the story to *her* children "Go ahead, call CPS, your mom did ."

If your daughter considers tapping to be abuse, here's a good alternative. Instead of tapping her on the shoulder, quietly knock on her desk (same way you would knock on someone's door). Since there was no touching whatsoever involved, not even the most hardened CPS agent will consider it abuse. Or you can approach your daughter from the front instead of standing behind her and tapping her. If she actually sees you coming, she'll be less startled.

She does not sit at a desk, mostly in a kitchen chair or on the floor.

About 1/2 the time I do not touch her at all, I get between her & whatever it is that has her attention, most often the TV. That get sher angry & she usually will holler out "your in my way". and I will say somthing like "that's not a nice tone of voice" & she will reply "well it's not nice to block the TV" or somethign similar. Sometimes she will roll her eyes, sigh & say *what???*. I know puberty is kicking in. I have thought about bells or buzzers, but that sounds more like training a dog a dog, very Pavlov...

What about the teacher in all of this? Was this entirely your daughter's doing, or did the teacher overhear something your daughter said and then over-reacted?

For example, did your daughter say in passing "My mother hits me." or "My mother touches me.", and then the teacher took it upon herself to call CPS?

The teacher did egg it on. They spoke to the school councilor who did not think it was an issue, the teacher perused it.

That is a very odd thing, that very same teacher phoned me to come up to the school last Friday, when I did, she met me in the hall & was literally pulling out her hair saying "I don't know what to do with her". Now, if I was the teacher, and I thought the parent was an abuser, I would not call the parent & make them leave work so I could tell them she would not take her coat off in class & would not stop playing with rubber bands. I would be afraid that child would get beaten that night.

I know I need to speak w/ the teacher, I just wanted to cool down 1st. In the meanwhile, the councilor spoke with her for me.

I am up at the school speaking w/ her & volunteering time every couple of weeks anyway. I thought we had a good relationship.

I am still in awe at these happenings.

Hmm. something seems strange about all this. I wonder whats going on with that teacher?

My DD thinks I abuse her.

I have felt abused in my teen years but I was being a spoiled brat then. I wanted my way then and thought because I had AS, I should be catered. But because my parents refused to cater me, I felt I was being abused.