Beginning the roller coaster...

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I would question the school as to whether or not it's a good idea to reward bad behavior by sending your child home, especially if your son, like mine, doesn't 'get' that suspension is a bad thing and would rather be home anyway.

If your son's school has a zero tolerance policy for things like spitting, then maybe they have one for bullying too. I'd be interested in finding out if the children called your son a baby after you'd left. Sounds to me like some of the other children may need to be sent home.

I go in to my son's school regularly and the kids in his class like to come up and tell me things about my boy. As odd as he is, he's still pretty well-liked. I think the kids are tolerant of him at this age (2nd grade), and actually a lot of them think he's very funny. When they do tell me something negative about him, I do my best to spin it into a positive and help my son to save face. For example, one of the children told me he never listens and I replied that he must have more important things on his mind. At this point I have a fairly nice rapport with a number of the children in his class and that seems to help. Like me, like my child.

I will add to the great stuff so far...

Allow yourself to mourn. It is a mourning that your kid is not the "cookie-cutter kid" for good or bad, you have to deal with this issue. I would suggest you look in to counseling for you and your wife too, this can be a HUGE strain on the marriage and family as you struggle with the best ways to cope, discipline and disagreements. A lot of misguided resentment can build up fast.

Let me also add, I have had cancer, serious cancer....did chemo, the whole she-bang and I will say, dealing with this with our kids is JUST as hard, if not HARDER, so give yourself some credit.

I am very religious person with a ton of homeschool and private school friends (something I normally say, "hey whatever works for you.")....HOWEVER, I truly think these are some of the worst enviornments for AS kids. My friend took her son out of public school to a private school to home school and he continued to spiral downward because they and she were not equipped to deal with his needs. He is back in another public school county now with AMAZING special education services and he is like a new kid. Its like night and day.

My publics school is between 2 colleges that have special education majors so we get a TON of services (student teachers, trained professors, the best of the best) that are doing amazing things with AS kids. My son is not even in school yet (will be in Kindergarten this fall) and they have already provided him and us with amazing resources, tools, opportunities, play groups, etc.

we are here for you.

I feel for you so much. I understand. I'm sorry it's so hard.

ok I havent read all the replies yet but I did want to say that i know EXACTLY how you feel. Right now (and i mean RIGHT now) I am going through a mixture of depression, anger, fear and more anger (but I will also say alot of pride because he's brilliant) and I don't have a diagnosis yet!! I am so scared of other children and how they perceive my child and DW's post really helped me to calm down and for the lightbulb to go on.

I am really starting to love this forum. I read more than post but I definately do not feel as alone as I once did. Not only do I get to hear from other parents of children with an ASD but I get to hear from ASD PEOPLE!! It helps me understand my son more and gives me more hope for the future.


It is so freaking hard to swallow..SO FREAKING HARD but at least you know what is up instead of waiting like I am for someone to listen to me and evaluate him. Javabuz has a point and I need to listen as well. Allow yourself to mourn. Be careful of ADHD medication. It turned my son into a monster which helped me (in a way) realize that he wasn't ADHD and forced me to go forward