Toileting issues - I am dying here

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That is a BAD habit! I USED to treat toilets like a bomb! I went, flushed, and moved away. NOW, because of so many unflushed toilets, they flush THEMSELVES! HOW do you move away if it flushes while you are on it?

I would have designed them to work like follows:

1. Is a person within 3 feet? If not, keep checking.
2. Have they moved away? If not, keep checking.
3. While waiting for 20 seconds, check to see if they came back. If they did, go to #2!
4. Was the toilet flushed? If not, then flush it.
5. Go to #1

Average flushes on a toilet I use? ZERO! Maximum flushes per user? About ONE! I usually flush MYSELF!

HERE is how most are designed:

1. Is something within a certain distance? If not, keep checking.
2. Have they moved past a certain point? If not, keep checking.
3. flush toilet.
4. go to #1

Average flushes on a toilet I use? FIVE! Maximum flushes per user? I have NO idea! I have been in places where they just keep flushing. With my bag and all, it may flush two times while I am merely getting out!

don't beat yourself up over this. sometimes the easiest solutions are the ones that are right in front of our faces.

We were having the wetting issues as well. Go to the urologist just to "make sure" everything is good down there.

Our issues were the hyper focusing. We started a potty break thing that they have been using at the school he is reminded every 2.5 hours that he should "try" to go, "just in-case". If he is going while other people are still doing things and the toilet is more likely to be just him it might help. See if he can leave his last part of class a couple minutes early so he can try to go and then get ready to take his things to his after care thing. Possibly show him where his "potty time" would be on the school clock and see if he will remind his teacher at that time.

i know i had this problem last year with my son, thankfully i run teh afterschool program he was at so i could just take care of it, i found that he did it a lot while on the computer cause he gets really focused.
thanks tracker for that insight about the body signals being so quiet i think sometimes as an adult who has learned to master that and without a dx of AS i almost assume that all bodies function teh same way.
my son has had a few accidents this year but thankfully none lately but they seem to happen when he is sick or tired mostly and after a full day of school the afterschool progeam makes for along day for some kids, and that kind of sux when you have no other options.
but to make you feel better i have had a few Nt kids this year nearly peee themselves because they were doing something or laughing too hard and the kids i am thinking of were in gr 3 adn gr5 so take heart in that one.
good luck with it all.