Kids say the darndest things

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mine went through a phase when he was younger where he was smashing eggs all the time finally one day i said i need to know why you keep breaking the eggs he said to me "mom it's like humpty dumpty" well i explained humpty was a hard boiled egg he never smashed another

the story of the fat man made me laugh my daughter who isn't asd while in the drive through for mcdonalds one nite tells the lady "you look so pretty" the woman smiles then she added "except your pants make you look really fat" i almost choked on my drink had to explain to her all the way to the next window why that was rude she just thought she was being honest.

while trying to explain death to my asd son i had explained in terms of a peanut that we all have a shell our bodies that we use while we're alive just like the shell of the peanut but that the really important part that makes us who we are is our soul just like the inside of a peanut and that when you die you arn't there anymore it's just your shell. i didn't want him to be afraid when he saw his opa in the coffin. He asked where does our soul go i said up to heaven and he says to me "ok so how does it get out" had to think fast on that one i told him through the nose

This is a little gross, so I apologize - but it's too funny.

My boyfriend's seven year old walked in on me naked. This usually very quiet boy pointed at my crotch and said, "Pants!"

Time to shave.

Welcome to the threadkiller society, brink! Funny though!

OK.. please no lectures... I know better alternatives now...

But when my son was younger, though he had no problem falling asleep at night, he would often sleep two hours and BE UP! So, on occasion, when he was having a really tough time, I'd give him a Benadryl to help him stay asleep.

Well, one night my friend's daughter was having... an extremely difficult night. My son was tired and wanted to go to bed, but she was making it impossible for him to do so. In complete frustration he demanded, "Mom! Don't they make Alexis-dryl?"

..................... My son's name is Ben........................

Ok, this thread is so funny! My sonjust said something that was so off the wall and out of character for us...

We go to church and my son is 4. We do have an african american at our church and he knows their names and calls them there names. We had a visitor a few weeks ago that was african american. My son didnt know his name so he said "COme here Chocolate face!" Now, my husband nor I speak like that and we dont have a television so he didnt see it on there. He said that he didnt know his name so he wanted to talk to him and that is how he got his attention. I honestly didnt know what to do. He is only 4 and strange thoughts through not only a 4 year old mind but a aspie 4 year old mind is mind boggling sometimes. My husband was very upset with him but I was a little more understanding becuase he didnt say it maliciously, it was very matter of factly. Kids say the craziest things!

And just so you all know, I wanted to run away when he said this and never show my face again!

So my son is at my mom's and asks "what's for dinner?"
She tells him they're going to have breakfast for dinner and if he wants, he can help make the waffles.
He smiles big, "Grandma, You don't have to help me. I can put the waffles in the toaster all by myself!"

My "son" got a waffle maker for Christmas.

We've had similar experiences... it's horribly embarrassing because you feel like everyone thinks you're a terrible racist filling your child's mind with hate!

" lxxxxxx puts car in big boobies."



he was playing on our train set with a car and calling the hills, boobies.

Today my son walked into the bedroom, said "By the way dad -- BOMP." (More of a sound effect than a word.) And walked back out.

My kiddo was explaining the rules of the pool where he has swim lessons.

According to him you can do ANYTHING you want, expect for smoking or diving.


I was cracking up. I guess if there is no sign for it, then it MUST be okay.

SC 2010 - that sounds just like our little guy! Now that he can read, he reads every sign he sees everywhere we go and he too thinks that if there is no sign that says don't do it then it is OK.

DS has recently developed this habit of ending many sentences with the phrase, "Just so you know" eg "I am going to the bathroom, just so you know." "I don't like the chicken you made for dinner, just so you know." "I am going to get in the car, just so you know."

DH and I look at each other and giggle, just so you know!

It sounds so funny coming from a 5 yo!

hahahaha Mine adds, "For your information." or "For your consideration."

Hi
New on this site and laughing so hard my kids keep asking "What Mummy?"

My 6yo AS son R..... takes everything literally.

One day Hubby asked where his beanbag was and R..... said that it was on the floor in his bedroom. When asked what it was doing in there (rather than in the lounge room) R..... replied "Just lying there, Daddy"

R..... was at a playground sliding down directly behind a smaller child. The other child's mother told R..... to "Watch your feet" (so that they didn't kick her daughter). R..... looked down at his feet with a puzzled expression and asked "Why, what are my feet doing?"

I wasn't much different at his age and I read EVERYTHING. I remember going swimming in a Hotel pool with my Mum and she was about to slide in from the side of the pool. I stopped her saying "You can't get in that way".
"Why"
"You have to enter at the Own Risk" pointing at the ladder.
"The what"
"The Own Risk, see, on the sign over there 'Enter At Own Risk' and that" pointing again at the ladder "is the Own Risk".

My son does this too. We have to censor everything he watches. Things got bad at Daycare though. R..... started blowing rasberries whenever he was agro (which was all the time in those days) right in peoples faces. Because his carers knew that everything he did and said came from movies they called us in and gave us a dressing down over the movies we were letting him watch ("You shouldn't be letting him watch adult movies and playing adult computer games that teach him to hit and spit.") At this point we admitted that the rasberries came from a movie and they asked us what he had been watching. Our reply - "Elmo in Grouchland". The didn't have a comeback for the age-appropriateness of that for a 3yo.

R..... Would also roleplay - he would allocate a movie character to you and only respond if you interacted with him as the character. Daddy was lucky and always got Kowalski from Penguins of Madagascar so he didn't have to talk just make barf noises. I regularly got Gloria the Hippo from Madagascar - observant about the physical is my boy.

He only does this occasionally now but until a year ago roleplay and movie dialogue would be the only way he would interact.

My son was being tested at around the age of 6. I'm pretty sure the question was to judge his understanding of morality and ethics, but it totally sums up John's amazing capacity to think outside the square and also how completely honest he is.
Question: If you saw a wallet on the floor of a shop, what would you do?
His Answer: I'd pick it up and smell it, and then I'd smell all the people around me to find it's owner.

HAHAHAHA That's GREAT!! ! Thanks for the chuckle!