So many parents' antics piss me off.

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I can relate to Neanderthal. I have been there myself. I am starving but I don't know what to eat so I go back to what I am doing. But I eventually eat. Mac and cheese is what I will have but I only have it once a day because I want to eat healthy. I am close to being underweight according to the BMI calculations but those things aren't accurate. I have found that if I keep a eating ritual, buying the same foods, it's easier to eat. But I always have to plan what I am going to eat the next day. Food has even gotten old in my fridge because I forget to eat it. So I try and remember to eat it.

I've looked up falafell on Google and I wouldn't even touch it. To hear kids to eat something that I'd be cautious about eating would set me off on the inside.

Disaster!! !!
Sonic has discontinued their chicken breast sandwich!
When you order it now, you get strips on a bun. DS will not touch it.
Been to three franchises, they are all the same.
Where are we going to get protein now?

A year ago all my son ate was chicken nuggets, french fries, and ramen. Through a system consisting of bribery (eat a carrot, you get a sweet tart), food deprivation (this is your only option for dinner, if you don't like it, you can go hungry), and getting used to textures he disliked (just put the food on the fork one night, The next night, hold the food to your lips, The next night, touch it to your tongue, The next night, chew it up, The next night, actually eat it) he is now able to eat "normal meals."

It was a painful process for everyone involved, full of tears, weight loss, gagging and occasional vomiting, and parental fighting, but it was worth it. I cook one dinner at night, I can take him out to any restaurant without worrying that he will go hungry or throw a tantrum at the food placed in front of him, and he is finally getting the nutrition he needs from solid foods rather than pills. He no longer pukes every time a fruit or vegetable is put in his mouth. He is willing to mix textures now, instead of picking apart multi-textured foods. It's also incredibly heart-warming to see exotic foods placed in front of him and have him actually TRY them willingly, followed by a big smile and the exclamation, "Is Good? Is Goooood!! !!"

My son is an excellent eater for a kid on the spectrum, and I'm pretty sure he does have sensory issues with food - but we used a similar system (without the bribery) for him. We have a one-bite rule (sometimes called a no-thank-you bite) which we eased into using the system described above. I learned early on not to mix foods together (which we do now) The foods we ate were always on his plate, whether he ate them or not. I also learned that many of the food refusals were due to losing or missing teeth - proteins, in particular, needed to be cut against the grain in very small pieces because he'd refuse foods that were hard for him to bite or chew. He was allowed to "wash down" anything he didn't like with as much water/milk/juice as he wanted, as long as he got that one tiny bite down.

We also made it clear that he sometimes was not going to like the foods he tried (I think kids with AS react to "try it, it's delicious" as though you are lying; they don't realize it might taste good to you and not to them.) We talked about how taste has to be trained, and it's individual to each person. He did start with a reasonable repertoire of foods he would eat, so my own rule was to make dinner including at least one of those foods: so, pasta - and three other foods. Or rice and three other foods, or sausage and three other foods, etc.

I do think we were lucky with my son, so I'm not going to say this system is what did it: he became pretty determined to learn about new foods. However, I think there is merit in using a system to expand their horizons slowly - eating is usually social, and these kids don't need another barrier to social interaction.

As for the sonic sandwich - sometimes you can find copycat recipes online - is this it? http://sunshineandbones.blogspot.com/20 ... dwich.html
You might write to sonic's headquarters explaining your situation, and ask them for the recipe. It's entirely possible that they are using a foodservice company that makes them in bulk; you may be able to buy them from the supplier and cook them at home.

A trait me and my daughter share - we graze. Lots of small meals throughout the day. When our blood sugar dips we get awfully cranky and headachy. Keeping it steady with a little something every 2 hours or so keeps its even keel. Doing this actually helped curb my daughters meltdowns. And as far back as I can remember, my mother was always giving me a carrot or an apple or something throughout the day... I wasn't a picky eater so she could give me something healthy with no balking. My daughter though is another story.

I wasn't raised on junk food. My mother encouraged me to eat healthy by making sure there were plenty of fruits and veggies in the fridge, and treats like candy were usually saved for holidays or special occasions. BUT I GOT FAT ANYWAY. Maybe it's because I hate physical activity and learned a long time ago that it's a punishment for being fat or indulging in treats. My mother was forever trying to make me exercise, forcing me to go outside where it was cold and dreary and there was nothing to do, and I would sit on the steps freezing my buns off. My mom put me on a diet when I was around 7 or 8 and would even try to scare me by telling me I would have a heart attack. She feels bad about that now. GOOD.
My brother was thin, however. So he could have treats if he wanted them. One time I took a piece of cake and when he saw it he completely flipped out. "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE CHUNK!! !" and then he snatched it away from me.
The one activity I really loved as a kid was swimming. But I usually only got to do that in the summer. Today I find swimming quite boring. I also find most fruits and vegetables today to be too sour, mealy, bland, bitter, mushy or slimy. Mom's hard work really paid off...

i have to say i find putting a child through such a system pretty barbaric and its not something i could ever do. the emotional and physical turmoil it would cause is just not acceptable to me.

i have two very very picky eaters who have extremely similar food preferences. with the oldest, we tried a few harder things to get him to eat, but nothing too extreme. we fought with his food choices for about 10 years. with the youngest, we went the route of offering alternatives if he didnt want what was made (usually pb&j or cheese sandwiches, or cereal). they are now 14 and 5 and both have started to eat other foods, the oldest within the past 2 years and the youngest within the past 6 months. both have intense gag reflexes, the oldest will gag at the smell of something he doesnt like or thinks he doesnt like, and the youngest gags at the sight of food even on his own plate as soon as hes done eating. i sometimes wonder if our trying to force the oldest to eat foods contributed to how long it took before he willingly tried new things.

the world is often a pretty harsh and hostile place for asd and sensory sensitive kids. making the home a hostile place as well, even if its with good intentions, just doesnt make sense to me. there are usually enough foods a child will willingly eat that they can get acceptable nutrition, especially when supplemented with smoothies, nutrition shakes, etc. injury or death from malnutrition is really rare in the modern world.

draelynn, thats really interesting to hear about the increased meltdowns from low blood sugar. we have noticed our middle son gets very cranky and easily upset when hes hungry, so much so that he has meltdowns, and hes still considered NT at this point. he has always been a grazer as well, and eats frequently throughout the day.

Hey - I think maybe you didn't think this sentence through carefully. The only broad-brush assumption that applies here is that we are all looking out for the best interest of our kids, and all our kids are different.

I happen to think finding a way to expose my son to uncomfortable sensory information in a gradual, controlled way is an important part of parenting him. I know him pretty well; he does learn and respond to this system. I also know that finding balance when parenting a kid on the spectrum is a spectacularly difficult thing to do: you want them to learn, but (at least for us) it's excruciatingly difficult to tell the difference between my son refusing something because he has a rigid (inaccurate) idea about an aversion to something and when he actually has a real, serious sensory aversion. We make mistakes. He makes mistakes. We refuse to admit defeat and muddle on.

I don't know your kids at all, nor do you know mine or Brink's. I don't think either of us implied that every child should learn to eat in this way; we only described what we did and how it eventually worked for us. I can easily see where it may not work for you or your kids.

My parents would often have food that was an assult to my sensetive mouth and tounge. When I complained my dad would snap, "Well maybe tommorrow we'll have something you'll like!" We usualy had left overs for the week." My parents could let me starve, hoping I would get hungry enough to eat it, but I didn't. I would starve rather than eat something I didn't like or physicaly could not eat. I was REALLY skinny as a child. Mostly because I was super hyper and always bouncing off the walls and any calorie I ate got burned. When letting me starve didn't work, my mom eventuly started to offer an alternative food.

I forget extactaly what we had that night but it was something I liked (as an adult there's only a few things I find too attratious to eat) and something my dad didn't. When he complained about it I scoffed at him, "Well maybe tomorrow we'll have something YOU like." I'd been waiting for over twenty years to say that to him. It felt great. My mom just laughed.

Try asking him if he is headachy when he starts getting fiesty/cranky/surly. If his mood is off and he's headachy - definitely blood sugar sensitive. I have normally lower blood sugar, so when mine dips I get the physical sensations much like a diabetic would. I'm betting my daughter - and even my neice - are the same way. So far my neice is NT but she definitely has the headaches and grumps when her sugar drops too. They both can recognize that sugar headache now and ask for something to eat before it escalates.

We keep baby carrots and other cut veggies in the fridge so they can 'self medicate' along with goldfish and graham crackers in easy reach.

actually ive been thinking it over repeatedly since i first read the post 3 days ago. i debated several times on whether to say anything at all. i did not attempt to pass judgement on the parenting or even the goal, just the chosen method to get there. and as i said, thats just how *I* feel and not something *I* could do. dissenting opinions are just as worthy to express, heaven forbid we all only post when we agree with each other!

i completely agree that exposing children to things is a valuable tool, we do this as well in our house. however i cannot agree that its ultimately valuable to repeatedly expose a child to something in a way that makes them cry, gag, and vomit, and causes them to lose weight, as described in that post. that can be very damaging, both emotionally and physically. we are trying to foster healthy relationships with food and eating, the most sensible way to do that, to me at least, is with positive healthy action, not tears and vomit.

i fully understand how difficult it can be to differentiate between real and imagined aversions. my oldest will gag at something he simply thinks he doesnt like, regardless of what it actually is. but whether its real or imagined, the result is the same. he doesnt gag less or cry fewer tears just because its his mind causing his body to react rather than his body reacting on its own. i also know how great it is to have a child who eats anything and not have to worry about making extra meal components or going out to eat; i have a great eater, too. while there are numerous times i wish to heaven that my two picky ones were more like my good eater, i am not trying to turn them into him at all costs without regard to their health and well being. some people, kids as well as adults, are picky eaters, and its ok to let them be who they are, encouraging healthier eating and trying new foods, without hurting them in the process.

i suppose i really just want people to question whether it really is worth it, to cause psychological and quite possibly physical damage to our kids, to address something like picky eating. if a parent new to autism were to come here and read this thread, i would rather they stop and consider the benefit vs detriment, rather than just reading about how this system of desensitization worked for two families and then trying it themselves.

with every single treatment and therapy we should really weigh the positives and the negatives, this is no different.

I hear you, azure, but what I was trying to point out is the difference between saying "this is something I would never do" and "this is pretty barbaric." The former is disagreement, the latter is calling-out.

I believe this was the sentance that casued a reaction for me. Is barbaric the right word? I dunno, but it's more than" I disagree" too.

I am having such a hard time at knowing where the line is between being sensitive to my son's needs and helping him with the hard stuff and totally enabling difficult behavior. I just cant do the things that would require that tough of love.

I totally agree that the world is a pretty tough place for our kids, I want home to always be safe. I wish I knew where that line was....

Don't give up on falafel. It's actually quite delicious. It's like a fried bread and very tasty...herbs and all. You can dip it in hummus or spread garlic butter on it. Or, just eat it plain. Yummy! You should try it. Where do you live? Trader Joe's actually sells a falafel snack that comes with a dip. All you have to do is warm it up.

my step-son used to have issues with almost all foods. now he eats what i put in front of him. how? i didn't give him an option. he had to sit until he ate it. spit it out? gag? oh well, eat it anyways. refuse? okay, i'll feed you. don't beleive me? i'd pry his mouth open if i had to. i know it sounds horrible but he is better for it. he understands that eating healthy isn't an option, it's necessary. he still gets (too many) treats. after he eats his healthy food. it was a difficult process for both of us. for him i'm sure it seemed like a nightmare because of his texture issues. for me it was stressful and it seemed to take forever. the other kids i didn't do this with because they ate better at the time and one is now doing the picky eater thing and i am starting on him now with the 'eat it or go hungry' and' no treats tonight, you didn't eat your dinner'. i also draw the line at certain things. i know that mushrooms are horrible for them, i don't give them mushrooms. i also give them a shake in the afternoon made of fresh fruits and usually mashed squash or sweet potatoes, a bit of oj and some yogurt. they all love it and miss it when i don't make it.