spanking special needs kids

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I don't expect it could. Even babies and animals however understand plain English. I may not have known the word for it but I learned the meaning of injustice not too long after I was born. I know because I have a good memory. Special needs children in particular can be extremely sensitive on every level. What you're talking about is brute mentality but is your liberty of course to exercise. And I already know that I'm entitled to my opinion just as you are.

Respectfully disagree - animals and infants do not understand plain English, as it were. No creature has an innate understanding on language beyond an instinctual code that I'm not entirely sure that I can fathom myself. A brute mentality, as you call it, is what saves the life of a wolf cub, the straying kitten from the litter, the errant duckling. What I'm talking about is a form of communication and instruction found readily in nature, not a form of abuse. Beyond that, we'll agree to disagree.


M.

Animal behaviour is not always such a good source of inspiration - after all, animals kill or abandon their "defective" cubs - it works in their world but would not be such a good idea in ours.

I think what Meadow tries to say is that humans have a lot more options and possibilities than animals and as far as those exist using force or physical "corrections" is hard to justify.

Spanking has the potential to traumatise a kid - it might as well not, but I wouldn't take the chance.

That's what hopefully sets us apart as human rather than animal but all too often there really isn't any difference between the two. Communication isn't just through spoken language and the only alternative is not aggression. Animals and babies can understand tone well enough to get the idea. A good measure of kindness and sensitivity as a means to teach and discipline goes a long way if only people would apply it. That's why we were given an ability to communicate, so we might use it. Animals have no other vice and isn't even a reasonable comparison.

What makes their world so different than our own? Language? Culture? But now we're heading to a discussion better suited for PPR than the Parent's Discussion forum.

I'll agree wholeheartedly that there are other options, and at times much better options. But if my son makes a run for traffic, there will likely be a single swat that comes with scooping him up. I don't agree with spanking as punishment, but it does have an effect as a deterrent, and I can't dismiss that in order to make another person feel better.


M.

Spanking a child is ok if they do something like run out into traffic? What a load of codswallop. If a child runs out into the road because they do not understand the dangers, the fault lies with the adult in charge. The adult needs to learn to keep hold of the child until the child does understand the dangers.

We should follow the example of what animals do? Again, codswallop. Sometimes animals, including dogs, kill and eat their young at birth. Do you think we should do that too?

I don't believe spanking is right for any child-NT or special needs. You are teaching them that it is okay to hit. I totally understand that sometimes when we are angry at our children, it may be the first basic instinct to hit, but I don't believe it teaches them anything but violence. When my son was going through a stage as a toddler of hitting (and he mainly was hitting me, sometimes in the face) it would make me very angry. But, I had to take a deep breath and squeeze his hand firmly and say a very firm "no" to him and he eventually stopped doing it. I think if I would have hit him back, it would have just made the cycle of violence continue. If spanking works for your child, then I guess you have to be the judge of that, but it just makes no sense to me.

You're welcome to your opinion, MKB; as I said in my post, my opinions on human behavior belong more appropriately in PPR than Parents' Discussion. And apparently it is impossible for the differentiation to be made between a swat given as a consequence of the child's behavior, and beating a child. I'm not making any suggestions for how you parent your own child, and have repeatedly made clear my position on the matter... but I don't apologize for teaching that their actions have consequences.


M.

In which case you had better beware if and when you travel because in many countries a swat given as a consequence of the child's behaviour marks you out as a child abuser.

Duly noted; let me also share that a parent who is unwilling to discipline, provide sufficient structure, or make plain to their child the consequences of their actions are aren't often appreciated in any society. We have a difference of opinion; I would appreciate it if you would keep your application of an offensive label such as child abuser to yourself and focus it on those for whom it would be an appropriate moniker.


M.

I'm quite uncomfortable with this thread as some posters take it too personal. Not that I don't understand - my father favoured beatings, yelling and insults and I did feel tempted to start an angry rant about it.

Personally, I do consider spanking and yelling potential abuse and I support having laws against it. Anger and dominance can easily turn punishment into trauma.

I might be tempted to see those that don't agree as monsters who like to beat the hell out of their kids 3 times a week but I know that's unfair. Considering spanking as a possible disciplining method doesn't make you a child abuser.

Same for the other side - there are plenty of ways to discipline a child without spanking. You can teach responsibility and consequences without ever raising your voice or a finger. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's possible.

Hi Sallam and Rina! Great to see you two posting again You've changed your profile pic. Took me a moment to recognize you from the hairdresser thread.

I agree with you. Likely because things went way off the original question of "Why is it controversial to spank a special needs child?" which seems to have devolved into the overarching debate about spanking all children and then into mild pokes at people.

Ironically, this sort of breakout may have actually served as a great example of an answer to the question when taken in its entirety: In other words, THIS is why it is controversial (THIS being the body of the thread). Whether the child is special needs or not is a subset of this greater debate. I hope this answers MONIQUEIJ's question

Wasn't that fun? Nice to see you too

I know how sensitive people are about the subject. While still in Sweden I've heard a lot of heated debates about it, especially from foreigners unfamiliar with the Swedish laws against spanking and yelling which is seen as emotional abuse. But I try to understand both POVs

For anyone who still thinks it is acceptable to smack a child:

The United Nations convention on the rights of the child, to which every country in the world has signed up, except Somalia and the United States, describe spanking a child as:

http://www.unhchr.ch/tbs/doc.nsf/0/2f27 ... 245381.pdf

That's absolutely correct and the United States needs to catch up and stop living in the dark ages.

For the parents that are "anti-spank", what would you do if your child is behaving badly/inappropriately, and you've exhausted other means of discipline? For the parents that are NOT anti-spank (but not necessarily "pro-spank"), when would you consider spanking justifiable, and how do you think it would impact your child in the long run?

There are 2 sides to every debate. It's important to remember that there isn't necessarily a right or wrong viewpoint/answer. Just because you feel a certain way about an issue doesn't mean you are right, or that everyone else has to share that viewpoint. In this particular issue, what works for some children is not going to work for others. Respect a person's opinion, and don't force yours on everyone else.

Bottom line is that every situation is different, and just agree to disagree.