The word "have to"

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My days are very similar to Azurecrayon's + my spouse travels for a living and there is no cold dinner waiting, I get to go home and prepare it for the family. I want to add that I blow off a lot of the things that many of those who judge parenting, think that I have to do...but I don't. I really, really, really only do (or require) the things that either I or the family "have to" do.

So for me, when I say "have to" it is EXACTLY what I mean. In addition, no matter how smart my kids are, they are self centered (as is developmentally appropriate). It is not my expectation nor requirement that they relate to or always get the why. I do my best to explain, but I can only do what I can do.

I do appreciate the topic, so I can hear how parents may be percieved as a child looking through their singular lens, rather than being able to see the whole picture. Personally, I didn't get much of what my mom "had to" do until I had kids. I am OK with the idea that they won't "get" that until they have similar responsibilities.

I see it as this for the words "have to"

You want to be neat and be all clean and like to feel clean. You are going to "have to" shower and comb your hair and wash your clothes and wear clean ones. Yes that is a choice but you have to do those things to be clean and neat. Get it?

If you want a job and you were called for an interview, you are going to "have to" dress nicely, wear clothes you don't normally wear. Yes it is a choice you are making but you have to do it to impress the boss who is doing the hiring.

If you want to lose weight, you are going to "have to" work out and eat healthy and cut back on junk food and sweets and sugary foods. Yes this is still a choice you are making.

When you are done using the kitchen you "have to" turn off the lights if you want to save on electricity. Yes this is still a choice you are making.

So if you want to be a good parent, you "have to" make your kids do their homework, you "have to" make them go to bed or shower or take a bath, you" have to" make them eat healthy, you "have to" punish them or do positive discipline and you sure have to keep your word after you threaten them with a consequence. Like let's say you tell your child if he doesn't clean his room, you will take away his Xbox for a week. He doesn't clean his room, you are going to "have to" take it away because you told him you were going to if he doesn't do it. Kids are not stupid so they if they see that their parents are threatening them with a consequence but they never follow through, they just become words and the kids stop taking their parents seriously knowing it's not going to happen so why listen? Then their parents wonder why their children never listen.
Sure these are choices parents make for how to raise their kids.

Does this make sense now for the words "have to?"