Should aspies have children?

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I feel similar to you about things. I've always wanted children, and it is kind of cool that my boys and I all like the same toys, all like reading, and all like using the computer, etc. It is easy to pick out things that that they will like, and easy to figure out how to teach them. (I was actually a Legos, Pick up sticks, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, Master Mind, Battle Ship, and Etch-a-Sketch bookworm of a little girl. I had a lot of Barbies at home when I was young, for which I enjoyed making clothing and furniture rather than playing pretend. At the daycare center, I always used the "boy" toys or read a book from home.

I admit that I am also glad about not having to sit in 100 degree Texas heat to watch a bunch of sports matches. (More often, indoor playdates with one or two other kids for social activity).

I'm autistic and I have a daughter who is autistic. It has been really, really hard. If I knew how hard it would be, would I have still have done it? Absolutely. There's a lot of hard work but there is also a lot of magic that you only get with a child. I remember having to fold back the corner of the bedroom curtain at Christmas on her insistance so that Father Christmas could see that she was in bed asleep like a good girl. And her fascination with the sea and the beeline she'd make for it on holiday, totally oblivous to the need to take her shoes and clothes off first. And the look of complete adoration in her eyes as she presents me with the flowers she picked for, (from the neighbours prize rose bush ).

The world is a wonderful place when you get to glimpse it through the eyes of a child.

Ditto.
Had I known about this (like it is possible today to find out via genetic screening about other disabilities) I would NOT have had any children. Yes, I love my son.
But why would we AND him deserve THIS LIFE just because of a genetic lottery?

It sounds like you both are having some really rough times. What is going on?

I see several people who are deemed normal but selfish who make awful parents but never ever is that brought up so what is the real agenda here?

This topic is brought up repeatedly...

I had selective mutism as a child, then Crohn's Disease (a bowel disease--inherited from my dad), and then epilepsy from age 20 through 28.

My mom was not good at handling any of these situations--ignoring them, minimizing them, blaming me for them, ordering me what to do without offering sympathy, or letting me deal with them on my own. I now realize that she has her own issues.

However, I have known perfectly nice people to write something on the Internet without chosing their words carefully, and a sensitive person reads the message and gets hurt or offended.

Some people also jump on the Internet when they are going through a rough spot and need to air something out or vent--perfectly understandable.

Sometimes, a child is a lot worse off that it appears from a post. There are high-functioning Aspies who don't need much help, and then there are others who really should be re-classified as having classic autism or have comorbid mental health issues that need to be identified and treated.

And sometimes they don't. I decided at 16 I didn't want children. I'm now 27, and I can't see myself changing my mind anytime soon, no matter how many people tell me I will. I've been married -- and divorced. I may marry my current partner one day, but neither of us is in any rush. I'd like to think I'm making my contribution to socitey in other ways.

I think Aspies should totally be parents if it's their desire and they have the right skill set and resources -- like everyone else -- to raise children.

My goal in life is to live long enough to see my grandchildren born. If my kids decide not to have children, then I'm going to be one pissed off elderly woman.

have them if you want them. kids are hard work, autistic kids are even harder than most, but the rewards are great.

i am not asd and always wanted lots of kids. my SO is classic autistic and wasnt sure he wanted kids when we met. i already had one from a previous marriage, so he knew there would be at least one. we've had two more since then, so his mind was changed a long time ago. three days after our youngest was born, my SO walked into the room, picked up the baby and said, "I want more." i told him it was a bit too soon for me to start working on another one

we are talking about having another baby, and probably will start trying within the next 6 months. we decided a long time ago our magic number was 5. we would have had one a few years ago but our youngest is pretty rough and we felt it was too physically risky while he was so young. out of our 3 boys, the oldest (who has a very outgoing NT father) is aspie, and of the two with my autistic SO, one is an autie and one is mostly NT with signs of ocd and/or adhd.

so odds of another baby being on the spectrum look pretty good =) any pregnancy carries risk, so by knowingly getting pregnant its an outcome we are willing and able to take on. i am a lot less concerned about the next baby being autistic than i am about the next baby being flattened by overactive older brothers.

Personally I don't believe people with AS should have kids. I have suffered intensely throughout my life as a result of my AS and could never in good conscience risk passing those same pains on to another person. Studies have shown that there is an 80% chance of a child of somebody on the autism spectrum also winding up that way.
As far as legally banning aspies (or any other person with a disease) from having kids goes, I'm undecided. It could be the first step on a slippery slope toward something pretty dangerous.

Not this one, if I even am one.

I'd train my kids to be the world's strongest and able to defeat all of their enemies. And make them watch Fist of the North Star for inspiration. So no, at 21, I'm not ready for having kids yet. But in the future, yeah, sure, I want a bunch of kids.

Yeah, they should have kids. If people who are mentally ret*d, deaf, etc, nobody debates that they shouldn't be able to have kids, so I don't see how having a socially awkward disorder would preclude having kids.

If they have sufficient resources to provide for the child; of course.

If they don't have their lives together, no.

But I'd say the same for AS or NT.

I'm NT. I think the decision is individual and shouldn't have anything to do with if you have Aspergers or not. Still it's a good idea to be prepared to possibly have a child with an ASD because you often see them running in families, so if you don't think you can handle that then I think it would be wise to abstain from having children. But even us NT's have that risk and have to factor it into our decision making process.

Obviously, I'm not a parent, but I would never want to have children. I find them annoying and rather petulent (and difficult to understand when they're speaking). As for the OP's question; I'm unsure if we should or should not have children. Perhaps in some cases, they shouldn't, but that can be said of "normal" people as well.

I will probably never have children and would definitely not have a child at this point in my life. I am not financially independent and I'm not nearly socially/emotionally mature enough to raise a child! In many ways I am still very much a child myself, so I would say that I should not have children. However , I would never say that those with ASD should not have children because we're all individuals with very different situations in life. As someone else mentioned there are many ASD as well as normal people who probably should not have children. In terms of the possibility of passing on ASD genes, I wouldn't have a child until I was prepared (as much as is ever possible) to raise and care for a child with any kind of challenges they might have.