Kindergartener underchallenged at school? Skip a grade?

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I have a high schooler who is happy in school. He has complaints about the grading rubrics, but even he'll agree that adapting to them gave him useful life skills, and he now has learned to how to translate his brain talent into straight A's. There were some rough patches, even some very rough ones, but he pulled through them. The offer to homeschool was ALWAYS out there, but he never wanted to take it. So is school "ever" the right place? I would say yes. They've identified support areas we never saw, especially in the area of speech, and my son will be MUCH better prepared for the world of work as a result. There are plenty of adults posting on the work board here with masters degrees and permanent unemployment, so its not like getting out of school is a free pass to life. Kids need the broader skill set, and while school isn't the only way to get that, the RIGHT school can be a very good way. That is the hope, anyway, as my son learns body language skills and teamwork in sheltered environment.

I have always said here it is a case by case thing. Depends on the child, depends on the school. There have been plenty of times I've read a parent's story and said right away, " pull him." You have to consider all the factors, and in this discussion we've got a K parent barely into a school year. We don't have all the facts because she doesn't. She isn't far enough down the road, and hasn't mentioned enough issues, to give up on school.

I wouldn't even know my son was AS if it hadn't been for school. I had no idea, not on my radar at all. They proved to be a valuable part of our team. I know we are super, super lucky, but you never know who is going to luck out.

I certainly agree with this.

DW_a_mom: how old is your high school son?

Freshman, 14 and his main IEP item at this point is permission to use a net book (he'll always need that, he can't handwrite). I loved being able to say (for the first time since we got on this road) he didn't need anything else, although they are continuing him in speech for conversational and body language skills (we didn't know he still needed it, but no complaints on their offering!).

I know things can change, and we're prepared for that. But it is looking like there is a good chance everyone has hit a home run with him, and he rose to what was asked of him (no small request). We shall see; not done yet; just I feel really really good about where he is at. Very much helps that anxiety and depression are not co-morbid.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 25 Sep 2011, 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am not sure what to tell you to be honest.

I do hope that I am wrong. Because if that is the case then I am just an out of touch person ranting about problems that no longer exist, which would be wonderful because I don't like those problems that I am ranting about. I guess I am just skeptical of the concept of school being good due to my own experiences. If I am wrong in your situation, then thats wonderful, and I am happy for that.

Perhaps the opening post should try sticking with kindergarten for a while longer, and try to figure out ways to deal with the boredom and any other issues which would be causing their child to act out. And if skipping ahead is still the best option in a few years time then go for it. I don't know the situation well enough to understand exactly what is going on.

I am just saying that from my experience (which may not be the same as your child's) there are problems with school. And while I hope things are better now, I am still wary of trying to extend the time in school because it isn't what would have helped in my situation.

Maybe I am just being overly pessimistic because I am having a bad week, but I don't mean to offend anybody. Like I've said before, I mainly come on this forum to help people avoid living the childhood that I had to go through, and this is just one of those things which reminds me of my childhood in very unpleasant terms. So take my view for what you will. Hopefully, it is irrelevant, but I think the warning still stands, and caution about the school environment is still warranted.

Believe me, I understand. I just got my notice for my HS reunion, and just looking at the names of the women gave me a panic attack.

I am not taking lightly the things people have said here: school is an extremely difficult environment for a kid with AS, even on a good day. However, in the last few years, understanding of AS as a set of different needs rather than pure laziness (which was obviously what teachers thought when I was a kid) is out there. Many schools are working hard to accommodate those needs - however, it's not in every school, and it's not with every kid.

This. I skipped year 9 (Age 13-14 yr) in the UK. I came third in the year above, and took a place reading law at Oxford aged 18 after having already had my gap year working in a foreign country. Best thing I ever did.

I think the warning stands. All personal experiences are relevant, they just aren't absolute.

The more we detail our thinking here, and explain our differing positions, the more informed all readers become as they try to make difficult decisions for their kids. No parent gets a crystal ball knowing which option is best for their child, or even one that lets them know exactly what their child's day is like.

No two schools are alike, no two kids are, and no two parents are. It all has to get factored in.

I am sorry you've had a bad week

His Dr. told us that since we are in Georgia and only 5, he is not required to go to school. The thing is, he really enjoys going to school. He absolutely loves it, talks about his friends and he is a very outgoing, friendly, and spunky kid. He's a child who initiates a conversation when you first meet him. We've been in playgroups and socialized him since he was a baby. At church he enjoys Sunday school and the worship service although that's an adjustment for him but he is learning to transition and just a few months ago when we picked him up after the service, he'd have a major meltdown but that is not the case anymore.

We have an IEP meeting coming up and I think I will try to suggest that if son is finished with his work, he can read a book, or maybe even draw since he loves to draw and it seems to calm him down. I hope that once he starts the Accelerated Reader program his behavior will get better. Maybe he needs to carry a daily schedule that he can check off while at school so it will prepare him better since we have not tried that yet while in Kindergarten. We did have a daily schedule last year for him and he enjoyed checking off his daily activities with his stars.

Your situation sounds so much like ours. After asking since April to have a computer available in the classroom for DS to go on when he is done with other "work", that is finally happening today! There are MANY options available to try in the classroom to help support him. The schedule is a very good one if transitions are causing some of his troubles. I don't know about your situation but where we are, even though K is typically full-day, parents still have the option of having their kids attend only half a day. You might inquire if this is an option if you think that a shorter day might benefit him.

I want to reiterate what DW said a few posts ago. We really do apprecite the AS point of view here. And I hear ya - even though I think I am an NT with a few Aspie traits, I recall middle school as being nothing short of pure living hell pretty much every day and if I had been given the choice at that time to skip a grade to make that time in hell shorter, I would have gladly taken it. However, as a parent like the OP just starting out on this public school system road with my ASD son, I am ready to try the various options out there and see how it goes. I will be watching closely (and trying at the same time to not be too over-bearing ).

I have to wonder Tracker, and you don't have to answer if you don't feel like it, did you receive anything in the way of supports during your years in public school? You've probably posted about that before but I am curious in the context of this discussion.

Thanks!

Bombaloo makes or reminds me of a good point. Plenty of NTs found school to be a living hell too. I was "bullied" at home, and came to school with a victum complex. Kinda like having a "kick me" sticker stuck on my back. So of course I was bullied at school. Accelerating all kids who found school to be hellish would be no answer. Having AS kids in school with proper supports is very good for neurodiversity training. People have to learn to accept our kids the way they are at some point.

My brother skipped, but I expect he probably wouldn't have if he hadn't already started school late because of his language delay. Mum and Dad wouldn't send him to kindergarten until he started speaking.

I think it's a pretty big decision. Whilst it is your decision as a parent in the end I recommend that a range of people who know your son should be involved in coming up with pro's and con's

However, accelerating all kids who are capable of keeping up would be a great answer. For one thing, there wouldn't just be one accelerated kid surrounded by a bunch of older kids, there'd be a group of people who were ready for the material, some younger and some older. Not only that, but letting them finish their childhoods earlier, proudly stand on their own two feet earlier, and contribute to society and being useful would be good both for them and for society.



That would be really nice. Those that refuse to be civilized should not be considered to have a "right" to an education that they're not really using anyway at the expense of those who would love nothing more than to take advantage of the education and learn everything they can.