Asperger's doesn't really seem to fit...

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There are basically two: pragmatic speech therapy and social skills classes. Both are sometimes conducted in a group setting - if you get them, I would advocate for neurotypical "helper" peers to be a part of the group; at this point the group my son is in at school is mostly providing a negative example (which he does learn from, but positive examples would be helpful.)

First, you will need to have his speech assessed by a speech therapist, which any neuropsych should be able to refer. There are a couple of different instruments to test, but remember to hold them accountable for the differential between semantic and pragmatic language and not the scores (this was why we didn't get therapy in 1st grade.) I've found this to be a good resource: http://www.asha.org/public/speech/devel ... matics.htm

Basically, the speech therapy breaks the social aspects of speech down into small chunks and teaches them just like you'd teach a foreign language. I have fairly good social speech for someone with a notable deficit because I have a degree in theater - I'm learning that basic pragmatic therapy is not unlike what we called "learning the subtext" or "analyzing a script" in theater class. http://rachel-shirley.suite101.com/less ... ue-a142153 http://www.backstage.com/bso/advice-ask ... 8945.story

Social skills classes are a bit looser and can be more complex and cover more areas of deficit (and, we've found, can be totally useless if the moderator doesn't understand the deficits involved.) There are all kinds of different methods and curriculae; it's good to know what exactly the goals of a social skills class are and what methodology they will use to teach. http://autismpdc.fpg.unc.edu/content/so ... lls-groups

These are two standard therapies for kids whose primary disfunction is social, and there is some overlap with kids in other situations that need these skills.

Good luck! Sounds like you are on the right track to finding what you need.

Thanks, Sparky. I've printed out your notes for future reference. For now we'll see what recommendations come from the ed psych's full report. I know they do specialize in ASD at their office, and I've seen social skills training listed in their offerings; whether that's group classes or individual I don't know. We'll get nothing through the school system, I know that for sure, so it'll come down to what we can provide privately. We'll need to pick our battles, because I don't think we can afford the time, money or energy to attack all the problems at once!

So, see what they offer. If you get a formal diagnosis and bring it back to the school, you might be surprised at what they offer (especially speech therapy.) I'd check with the psych to see which class they think will serve him best - but you might want to look for acting classes or a theater group, too (lots of "quirky" kids in acting classes, especially the ones that don't do musical theater.)

Check what resources are available in your state and make sure that the school won't help you before you pay for all this on your own. Keep in mind, in the US, a child's social and emotional development are supposed to be part of their education; if they have a speech deficit the school is supposed to address it. Take it from someone who's been there - the school is supposed to be your ally, but sometimes it takes bringing an advocate to a meeting to remind them.

Well, I thought I would return and report. We got the full results of the assessment last week: ASD (PDD-NOS), ADHD and Dysgraphia. I guess I was actually a bit relieved, as I was wondering if we would get a whole range of LDs, but it turns out he is completely normal, IQ-wise, just with this specific writing problem. All other academic issues are caused by the ASD and/or the ADHD. It's not Asperger's because he had language delays. It's not classic autism because he doesn't check enough boxes. In general his problems are significant but surmountable. The Ed Psych said that there's no reason he shouldn't be able to pursue a university education if he wants to, although he's a long way from that right now. He has poor working memory, weak writing and reading comprehension skills.

With regard to the ASD, his problems are in specific areas (social interaction and communication), he does not have any bizarre behaviours, physical stims or anything that's really obvious. It's just when you talk to him that you notice he's a little eccentric in his choice of phrasing and that his eye contact is patchy. He has no problems with reading faces and is a very sypathetic boy. We've been told that specialist/support type groups would NOT be a good idea for him. The practice offers social skills training, together with community aides (for him they would try for a young university Masters student) to take him out and practice his new skills. I really like the idea of this - I can see great benefits in having him go out with a cool young man and practicing chatting to shop assistants, etc.

The biggest problem is how to talk to him about all of this. He knows that his social skills are weak, and he's told me that he's been called 'weird' before, but when I mentioned getting help he said he didn't need it. He is in general an easy-going kid but I worry about whether any of the therapies/tutoring/specialized programs that will be coming up wikk be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We also don't want to tell him his has ASD right now. Is that a mistake? It just seems that his problems are in such specific areas, I don't want him to go googling and find information which would be misleading for him. We've explained to him the academic problems, and said that we're getting him some help with his social skills. I have also spelled it out to him "Sometimes you say things in a way that people don't understand". He thinks it makes him sound smart, but it's just baffling to people who don't know him well, and shuts down the conversation. It makes me realize how he does ok with his friends, because he doesn't do this with them, just chats away like a normal kid most of the time.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. But I would really appreciate any input from parents who have received diagnoses when their kids were in their teens.

Yes, that's exactly the approach we're taking right now. It's just that I've read things where adults have been angry that their parents didn't tell them their diagnosis when they were younger and it feels like they were lied to when they find out later. I guess we'll deal with that if/when we need to. For now I feel it wouldn't be helpful to him. How likely is it that a professional with his record in front of them is likely to mention the word "autism" to him? Should I make a point of telling people who will be working with him that we're not saying that word for now? I hate the feeling of 'keeping a secret' from him.

He'll be having the interventions, whether he likes it or not. Hopefully when he feels the benefits he'll be more willing to put in the effort.

On a positive note, I just spoke to the special needs co-ordinator at the high school he'll be going to in the fall, and was really pleased to see he's been placed in 10-2 classes for everything, based on recommendations from his current teachers. She was extremely encouraging when I told her the new diagnosis and said there should be lots of support (what that will look like, I don't know).

Why don't you ask him if he wants to know? He's got to know something is going on. I did with my son when we were in a similar situation and the answer was an emphatic "no!"

We struggled with this for a while, and finally, when we decided that it was better for him to know and understand, we left "All Cats Have Asperger's Syndrome" for him to find, and let him draw his own conclusion (he figured it out after three pages.) However, when you've got an ambiguous diagnosis, things are a lot more confusing.

We also got him a book about OCD to help him with some of his rigid and tic-like behaviors, and spent a lot of time explaining that he didn't have OCD but some of his symptoms were similar enough that the techniques would work for him (he has obsessions and compulsions but they are completely unrelated to each other.)

I'd mention that you aren't using the word to whatever professional you are seeing. I don't think they would bring up the diagnosis, but you never know.