Verbal Bullying

Post Reply New Topic

Can the school find him a "buddy" in his grade? Is there a sympathetic person who might be assigned to sit with him and help him out - at least by reporting the other kids' behavior?

The school is also responsible for disability awareness training for kids - these kids probably don't realize what they are doing, not to excuse their behavior, but they are probably coding your son's behavior as "deliberately annoying" because they don't have any frame of reference for it. It is the school's job to help them understand, too - they are just as responsible for the bullies' social development as they are for your child's.

I'm sorry to hear that the driver is being a jerk. Obviously said driver is one who only wants to drive because she wants some $$$ in her pocket, not because she cares about every child who rides that bus. So many teachers and school district staff are the same way...they want KA-CHING! Thankfully this year I have two good drivers AM/PM who enjoy conversation. Had I been driving that bus, there would be a lot of kids getting suspended from the bus for several days.
I would ask for a "buddy" in the same grade...but you may end up having yet another catch 22. The buddy may ride another bus and live a few miles apart from your son. Of course you don't want to write "bus passes" every single day because your son is being bullied on his assigned bus and he wants to go with his buddy.
At this moment there are probably no other choices than sp-ed bus (to the door usually) or pick him up and take him home in your car. Work complications may screw up the latter.

How is the sped bus going?

I am a big fan of LRE. However, I think it is important to look at things from the kid's perspective. I am not saying you wouldn't do that, Yippy. But I have seen more than one parent push their kid into something that caused the kid a great deal of anxiety over the LRE issue. In the end, the bus is just a means to an end. It is how he gets to and from school. As long as he is able to get to and from school without anxiety and emotional turmoil, then perhaps the size of the bus doesn't matter.

Because, in truth, the size of the bus doesn't matter. It's a vehicle and no one needs to grant it any more magical meaning than that. It's not like the kids who ride that bus are less than anyone else, or that the kids that ride the regular bus are better than anyone else.

I still think it matters that he willingly chose the sped bus, even knowing of the potential consequences. You educated him and gave him a choice. He chose, which gave him control in a situation that he previously didn't have control over. I'm sorry if I am being preachy, but one of the things that has helped my son the most is making him aware of the social implications of his actions and then letting him decide what to do, and fully standing behind his choice, even when it isn't the one that I would have made. I look at it this way: he is going to be "weird" the rest of his life. I don't want him to feel like the only thing he can do is to "choose" to do the thing that is socially acceptable/like everyone else. I want him to know sometimes it is just OK to be weird. Sometimes, when it is best for you, when it is easiest for you, when it is less stressful for you, or even when it just suits your fancy...it is OK to choose to be weird and "suffer" the consequences. Sometimes the "consequences" are less than the consequences of trying to fit in.

I am rambling, but honestly, if he likes the sped bus, I would be inclined to leave him alone. And if some kids tease him for it, I would help him script a really witty comeback and tell him you admire him for his courage in recognizing what works best for him, and then doing it while thumbing his nose at people too ignorant to get it.