Is childcare good or bad for spectrum babies/ children?

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My pediatrician has recommended that my aspie son get lots of interaction with other kids his age. To quote her, "Preschool doesn't teach kids how to read - it teaches kids how to be in school." Whether it is with playdates, preschool, or daycare - he needs lots of interaction to learn how to behave with peers and in a group. It makes sense to me, so we're doing it.

When my child was an infant (I had to return to work when he was 5 weeks old), I paid the extra cash for him to have one-on-one care. I was lucky enough to be able to afford it at the time. It was important to me that my infant get more direct care.

When he turned one, I moved him to a "regular" daycare. His daycare has infants through kindergarten but is not a multi-site corporation (like a Bright Horizons type). My friends have a child of the same age. They used a small corporation (5-8 sites) that was right next door to one parent's office. The difference in our two experiences has been like night and day. Where we have noticed a huge difference that affected care was in teacher turnover. Yes, people change jobs. However, how many teachers did a single kid have in a day/week/month? In Massachusetts, toddler classes have 2 teachers.

At my daycare, they staff the day by having people work four 10-hour days each. This combined with two toddler classrooms = 5 teachers total. Staff is salaried, not hourly, so they don't get a cut in pay on a day when they happen to be able to leave early (due to an early pickup of kids). There has been 1 teacher change in 1.5 years and we got a letter from the director when it occurred.

At their daycare, the staff are hourly and they hire 4 teachers for the same 2 classes. The hours are staggered so that there is an "early" teacher and a "late" teacher (for the times of day. When enough kids are out or have gone home, the teacher punches out. They make less money. They leave. There have been 8 toddler teachers in 1.5 years - more than 100% turnover.

Oh, and my daycare has kids that are strict vegans, vegetarians, allergic to (whatever) and other stuff. Some parents provide yogurt to go with every lunch. There is a stack of special homemade cupcakes in the freezer for the gluten-free kids to have when other kids bring in birthday desserts or other treats. Accommodation is natural because the same few people work with the kids regularly and they know the kids, the parents, and how to provide decent care.

I know it can be a hard $ hit, but try to spend a full day or two with your child in any daycare before you commit to regular days there. See how the teachers are with other kids, ask questions, talk to parents in dropoff and pickup. Use your gut - if it feels like a bad match - it probably is.

Actually what it teaches depends on the preschool. I volunteered at a preschool/daycare that had two year olds writing their own names, counting to ten, and reading simple sight words.

They were more advanced than the 5 year olds at the uni kindergarten. I feel that was because in large part the uni day care for kids too young for kindergarten was nothing but playtime

I think it just depends on the daycare. When my daughter was 2.5 we lived in a very small town in BC and she went to the only daycare in town. The daycare director had over 20 yrs experiance. She was the first person to start using PECS with her, and it was very good for her socially.

Then we moved to provinces (to be closer to family and for work) and daycare was an absolute nightmare. Both daycare's in town refused to even put her on their waiting list. Then I tried the family day-home agency, they set me up with a 'trial' with a licenced dayhome provider. The provider, a mom wanting to stay home with her baby, so she has 4 little ones plus a couple older after school kids. Tried it for a week, then she told me she didn't think it was going to work out. Then we tried a couple baby-sitters that didn't work out.

I begged and pleaded to work from home. I have a room set up as my office, and I talked to the local respite agency and they set me up with a live-out nanny, someone who works out of my home. It's great, because I'm always home I can check in on her. She takes my daughter to and from pre-school and to the park and such, I know shes not being neglected or abused and that she's getting decent care.

I feel very guilty because I have to work and can't be with her as much as possible. Even though my child care situation is pretty ideal, my advice would be if there's any way to stay home with your child, I'd do it. If you can't stay home, thats life, but be prepared to have to try alot of options until you find someone who is the right fit, you can't settle for anything less. Good luck!

What is it with the old threads coming up from the depths lately?

Childcare was difficult for us, and I think that many parents of AS will discover that. My son wouldn't do group care, and he wouldn't do sitting by me as I worked. We bit the bullet and hired a private nanny. I had clients and commitments, only part-time thankfully, and if I was going to have to use childcare, I needed to do everything I could to make it a positive experience for my child.

Everyone in the family loved having a nanny

But I can't say I saw a lot of profit out of my work, after counting for income tax and childcare. Just one of things, in the end. I'm in a licensed profession and we had to factor that in, too; if I walked away, it would be forever, very little chance of going back.

It depends on the daycare.

I went to one that was in a private home but the daycare lady put me upstairs in a crib in a hot room with no window open and no fans blowing and she gave me nothing to drink. I was sick for a week due to being over heated. My parents never took me back there.


I went to a daycare when I was three and four but I ended up with a teacher who was too lazy to deal with me. So she had no patience for me and was wishy washy and get mad at me when I wouldn't listen because I didn't understand what she was telling me. I misbehaved there and then I got kicked out. I also remember wanting to be in the big kid area because their toys were more fun and the stuff my age group did seemed boring.

But the other daycare I was in as a two year old and a three year old was okay. I played alone and we had story time and play ground time and toy time and of course nap time. But I remember having accidents there when I was first out of diapers because I hold it because I refused to use the big toilets. I was afraid of them and they didn't want me using the potty chair. I even remember soiling myself there.