Something Momsparky said

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There are two things that are important here: one is that most children do better if sheltered from certain things until they are developmentally ready to handle it: violence and sex in particular. There is a lot of research that indicates that it's better to wait to expose them to certain things than not...what there isn't research on is the degree to which this should be done, and how each individual child will be affected.

Second, there are issues with kids on the spectrum that go beyond explaining things. No two kids are alike. Some kids, like my son, have OCD-like tendencies (he does not have OCD, though) where they can't "un-see" things that are upsetting to them. For him, understanding is not enough - he needs to develop at his own pace, and to be ready for things before they happen. He also has difficulty managing language, despite my very detailed explanations about it.

Case in point - I started out as a parent who didn't want to shield my child from "scary" images and cartoon violence. When DS was very small, Nightmare Before Christmas was one of his favorite movies, because he didn't make the connection between "scary" and the looks of all the creatures - he took their actions at face value. A year or two later, he stopped wanting to watch the movie, and shortly thereafter he banned it from our TV and hasn't watched it since - all by himself, he developed a fear of "scary" images, despite the entire movie being about how things that look scary aren't necessarily so.

This had nothing to do with parenting; I talked a lot about how the characters acted and what they did and how noble they were to take care of each other and fix their mistakes...but at some point, he developed the ability to be scared by imagery and there wasn't anything I did or could do to change it. Forcing him to sit through the movie from that point on was nothing less than torture, and served no purpose at all.

I am very sensitive to accusations of "helicopter parenting" or treating my son with "kid gloves," because it happens to me a lot...except by professionals who know our situation well or friends who know my son well. When you have a kid who appears "normal" by all outside standards, I sure look like a helicopter parent when I have to run interference for him so he isn't put in situations where he feels he can't refuse to do things he doesn't want to do, or situations where he's exposed to things he can't handle. I especially love the situations where - for the identical action, by the same person - I'm called a helicopter parent in one breath, and too lenient in the next because my son is falling apart: happens to me all the time.

So, basically - please ease up on the judgement. I am doing the best I can; the consequences of mistakes for me on this particular issue can be very serious, and we are very carefully feeling our way around. While I did say that I wish other parents would follow MSRB ratings, that's because their choices wind up affecting me and my kid. I'm not judging you or your choices as a parent, obviously your kids turned out fine.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm asking a serious question because I don't understand. I know parents who don't let their kids watch/play/listen to certain things because of ratings or content and I never ask them, so I'm asking you instead.

Why does rating or content matter? As long as it's not something like porn or something that the child is already afraid of, why make a big deal about it? I ask this because I've always let my kids watch, play and listen to whatever they wanted, and we have never had a problem with it. It may be different with special needs kids, but the parents I know who won't let their kids watch or play certain things have NT kids, as I do.

As for video games, I can't help you on that. Mine play them and they have all kinds of them, but I don't know whats what.

From what I've heard, NT kids may (and I emphasise may) be more able to handle the violence and scary things, although I have my own views on whether they should be allowed to. AS Children are far more likely to be terrified of things, get phobias, worry and obsess, so it's really not a good idea to let them watch things that are for above their age range. Parents would hopefully know their own child well enough to know when is the right time for them to be introduced to certain subject matters and that is likely to be older for AS children than it would be for their NT peers.