Worried about autism

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He has always been verbal on schedule, but his communication is less reciprocal than NT communication. The reciprocity has increased over time, and I think the main thing is trust. Even kids who are non-verbal will often communicate in other ways, and if you take care of their needs even when they are not doing the best job of communicating, that helps a lot.

Love works that way, too. They don't show love in NT ways all the time, but they show it in their own ways. If you accept the gestures they make, how it is intended as opposed to waiting to see the signs you want to see, that helps, too.

Dananddan - you're in a tough position. Because all parents want their children to love them back. But, I echo ASDMommy on this one - watch for your child's non-verbal cues. Hearing "I love you" is not the only measure. Look at your child for who he is and how he communicates. Look at what he looks to you, his parents, to do. Look at how he seeks to be comforted and how you respond for the answers as to whether or not he loves you. And I promise you, he does. He may not be able to say it verbally or understand it in its entirety, but perhaps he's already expressing it in his own language.

Just wanted to post a 12 month update...
Unfortunately not much has changed. He started walking, but otherwise communication is still poor, and no waving/clapping/pointing or imitating. Name response is still inconsistent and somewhat rare. sigh. Don't know what to make of it. Hoping he will eventually just catch up. Anyone else been in a similar situation?
It feels like the months are just passing by and he is making very little progress, unless I'm expecting too much.

I wasn't in your situation, but if my son's development is any indicator, he will not develop at all relative to his peers until we are in a complete panic, and then suddenly catch up in the space of a few weeks.

One of the hallmarks of autism everywhere on the spectrum is atypical development. There's no way to know what your baby's development will look like. If you make sure you are making use of the tools and thearapies you are offered that make sense to you, you are helping your child be the best they can be.

Will he talk to you? I don't know. Most autistics people are verbal, at least a bit, so the chances are pretty high, but there's no guarantees.

Will he love you? Yes! In fact, he already does! He may not be talking yet, but he has already told you he loves you.



The fact that you can calm him down when he's upset means you're very important to him. I bet he isn't calmed so easily by a stranger, right? He knows you're someone he can trust to be there for him when he really needs you.

Autism does not affect the capacity to love. It can change how this love is communicated, but autistic people are just as capable of loving others as non-autistic people are. So whether your son is autistic or not, whether he can say the words or not, know that he does love you.

Okay the first thing you have to do is to forget everything you thought you knew about autism, because the media and so-called "experts" who are NT are idiots about it. Secondly, every autistic person is different. My mother has told me I developed quite normally as an infant and the only unusual problem was that I had a lot of colic. Which makes me embarrassed for some reason.

14 months update - still no imitation, waving, clapping or pointing. Name response is still poor.
No stranger anxiety and doesn't seem to care if we leave the room.
At this point I'm almost convinced he's on the spectrum, I just hope he's HFA.
Anyone else gone through the same experience with their child? How are they doing today?

Have you contacted the Regional Center for an Early Intervention evaluation? 14 months is also in the range of the M-CHAT questionaire: https://www.m-chat.org/_references/mchatdotorg.pdf

Thanks. He's at Medium risk according to M-CHAT.

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. Even from the newborn stage she was always very curious about the world around her, but more about things and not people. And not things like cuddly toys and dolls but hard toys and especially moving things. She would not let us hold her and wiggled away at any chance. Her eye contact and reciprocal communication were not good, but we didn’t know anything about autism at the time, and her verbal skills were fine (just not social). She has always had extreme focus and is hard to distract. We thought she had a hearing problem because she did not respond to her name, but if it was an interesting or unexpected sound she would react. She also seemed to need to sleep a lot and still does (Einstein, who was autistic, also slept a lot).
My daughter is now 12. She was diagnosed at age 9. She was not diagnosed earlier because although she was odd, she was quiet and smart. She has taken social skills classes and other autism interventions, but attends a regular school and we expect her to do very well, with lots of support. Even if you son has autism, it is not the end of the world. I would strongly suggest you read the book The Spark, by Kristine Barnett. The author describes many of the observations and feelings you have expressed, and it will help you to have a proper perspective of autism.
Please keep in mind that your son may still be in the range of normal and the developmental milestones are just averages. You mention in your birth story that your son had jaundice; any chance that his mother is Rh negative blood type, or that there are autoimmune diseases in the family? This makes it more of a possibility that your son might have Asperger’s. In any case, a high percentage of autistic kids (including my daughter) had difficult births, but more likely due to the different signals the baby gives or doesn’t give the mother in preparation for labour and delivery rather than autism being caused by the difficulties. Whether your son has autism or not, he will be most helped by your being calm, accepting, and joyful, and being observant of him as you have been.

Thanks Sterk!
Sounds like your daughter is doing great now! I really am hoping for a similar outcome with my son. He is now 15 months old and still behind in many areas. Do you remember by any chance when your daughter started talking?

I have asd and my elder son has. The difference between him and the next one was apparent. The thing that I noticed was singing before speech. He spoke at two but his first word was unnecessarily! He was telling his brother off. My younger one and next two babbled and then did mama and the such. I didn't talk til 3 and still have verbal delay. They also interact differently to him. I couldn't get a diagnosis til he was 5 and not official til 7 years old. The early intervention would of helped so much. Luckily as he had an autistic mum I understood him more than my others. If you have concerns note them down and get it noticed by doctors, but don't forget to enjoy your little one for being themselves and be proud of them. They grow up fast.

It is mental condition that is present from early childhood.It becomes difficult for a child in communicating and also forming relationship with other people.So it causes impossible in understanding and abstracting concepts.

One of my close friend's kids is having the same symptoms and I must say he is recovering fast by following a well prepared routine especially for kids with autism.

AnissaMarion could you provide more details?
What kind of program is he in? I'd like to try and do the same for my son.

Your child is old enough now for the Denver Early Start Model, check it out at: https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autis ... model-esdm

Looks like they've published a book for parents to use: https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2012/ ... ild-autism