My son seems NT now

Post Reply New Topic

Nate completely seems NT now. He is a little quirky but I attribute it with the 50 point or so difference between his verbal and nonverbal IQ (favoring nonverbal). He really seems typical. Strangers tell me that he is the most sociable child they have ever met.

When discussing Theory of Mind though, he still struggles. When I consider that, he is still on the spectrum although everything else seems so typical now. That is besides his incessant talking but some NT kids are like that, too.

My other son is 22 months - I will call "Ronald" for purposes of discussion. It's interesting to see the difference between the kids. All kids are different. Ron is very high maintenance and requires constant social interaction. Nate could play by himself for hours when he was that age and was so easy going. Ron is extremely emotional; typical 2 year old. The interesting thing is that Ron can already follow my eye gaze or pointing. If I look at him then something else, he will look at the something else. Same with pointing. Nate still doesn't do that. Yes, he is still on the spectrum but it's easy to doubt it sometimes.

What really matters is that I have two wonderful children. I wouldn't change them for the world although Ron really, truly is driving me absolutely crazy. Nate was just so easy!

I am glad you are getting used to your son, Nate. I like stories of how families are enjoying each other's company.

My mom thinks I seem NT now. She thinks I seem perfectly normal. I think I'm still eccentric, but not intellectually or socially inferior to the avergae NT at all.

Mum's boyfriend also seems NT at times, although every now and again his points of view will give it away if you can recognize it. He says he actually had to teach himself how to recognize social stuff but he got it eventually.

I've got the same mild AS as he dose but I've gladly embraced quirkyenss and am yet to teach myself social skills to his level.

Both your boys sound like sweet and unique little guys. It's impossible not to compare kids, and I think, as long a parent is accepting of their differences, it's fine to do so.

It is kind of funny raising a NT child after an AS child. My aspie (still no official dx, but I'm pretty darn sure) is 6 and his NT little brother is 3. CME could sit and entertain himself for hours, and Matty wants to be with someone all the time. CME was always a clean and tidy little guy, and Matty loves his messes, the bigger the better! CME was always cautious and still, and Matthew will climb to the highest point and jump off.

We're actually having Matthew evaluated with CME's OT this week, because I think he also has sensory integration dysfunction. But he's a seeker of most things, whereas his brother is an avoider of most things.

I enjoy their differences. It makes it very difficult for them to get along now, but I believe that they'll both be better people for their relationship with one another. (Someday.)

Your children sound so much like mine. Perhaps you can help me with sanity.

Nate is also a sensory avoider (forgot the real term). He has always been so clean and tidy. He is actually very organized, too. Nate was using a spoon perfectly when he was a year old - without getting anything on his face. He also started drinking from a cup around 6 months although we didn't let him fully use a cup (not sippy cup) until nine or ten months. He was never a climber and was never a risk taker. We didn't worry about him getting hurt; still don't My other child "Ron" is such a messy child - he absolutely loves to get dirty. He still can't eat from a spoon and he is almost two years old.

They are as opposite as you can get. Here is my life right at this minute with my sensory seeker child. Sorry if this is long winded but I must give you all an example.

Right now Ron is climbing on me trying to get on the table so he can jump off. He does it so quickly. I just put him down and now he is crying. He just stopped crying (10 seconds later) because he grabbed a cup, put it to his ear and said "hi". Now he is singing (10 seconds). He is getting on the table again; just put him down - this process can continue for another hour. Now he is jumping on the chair, grabbing my neck and screaming (very high pitched for fun), now singing again. Oh, He just fell because he was bouncing so much ...;the crying starts again.

I bought Ron a bouncy horse a few months ago and he only used it to stand on the seat and let go while bouncing. He actually never fell. He also LOVES to jump on the couch and purposely jumps off. We really don't let him do these things but he does it so quickly. When he hurts himself, he cries for a minute and does it again.

I hate to say it but I wish he were like Nate. Nate was SOOOO easy.

My kids are complete opposites in other ways. In almost every way. It's unbelievable.

I seriously don't know how to cope right now. I should purchase a weighted vest for Ron!

Darn it. He just took a thermometer and shoved it in my ear. It hurts. I just used it and forgot to put it up. Ron also never sleeps. Nate sleeps for about 9 hours a night

LOL! That definitely sounds familiar!

I am worried that Matty is going to start showing more autistic traits soon. When CME was little, we were all focused on his motor skills. His sensory issues showed up around three years, and his lack of social skills didn't really show up until he was three or four. So I wonder, especially now that Matty is showing signs, albeit opposite of his brother, if we're going to have two very different spectrum kids.

I try to keep mine apart as much as I can, honestly. If CME wants to sit and color in the kitchen, I put a gate up to keep Matty in the living room. When they are together, they really need to be watched all the time. CME has gotten really good about "using words" when Matty is bothering him, but, being 3, Matty doesn't care, and eventually, CME will meltdown and retaliate. CME also has a very black and white sense of the rules and will tackle Matthew if he gets near things like the TV to push the buttons. And, of course, Matthew will tackle CME for no reason other than it's such great fun!

And, I know it sounds bad, but I just let Matty jump and climb (almost) all he wants. My couch makes a perfect trampoline, so the kids pile the cushions on the floor and jump into them. CME is content with jumping from the couch into the cushions, but Matthew likes to climb on top of the piano and jump off. I'm finding he's pretty capable of taking care of himself. I try to give him as much leeway as I can, with movement and with tactile things.

I used to worry so much with CME. Now, as long as no one is bleeding or concussed, I'm pretty much okay with the risk taking. (I'm NOT okay with the fighting and working very hard to stop it, as it's the main problem at our house right now.)

I'm really looking forward to Matty's evaluation on Tuesday. I'm not looking forward to having double the OT bills, but really want to get a handle on what's going on with him. I feel much more equipped to deal with everything. Having spend the past six years trying to understand CME, I already KNOW so much more this time around!

Oh, and sorry about your ear. My little one's favorite thing is to first pet our skin, then pinch it hard.

My sons (both dxed AS and ADHD) were both more like your second child when they were toddlers/preschoolers. They never slept. They never stopped moving. They had no sense of danger. They would simply tear a room apart if left on their own for more than a minute. They were voraciously curious, nothing was left unexamined (which usually meant destroying it in the process). It was very challenging at times.

They did calm down as they got older. Although one is still very much a sensory seeker, and both are very fidgety and energetic, and they still have issues around sleep.

So it should get better in a couple of years...hopefully. Hang in there.

Many autistic traits are caused by anxiety, if he appears more NT then you must be doing a great job as a parent.

It's nice to see the parent of any child state this

Thank you. It is so hard at times to feel you are doing an alright job. I would say my sons greatest difficulty is with anxiety. He is such a perfectionist and if things are not good enough for him, he often has a meltdown. I am an overally anxious person and have to be careful not to show my anxiety to him because he picks it up.

As for my 22 month old, I feel lost. He is only entertained by a few things. He loves opening and closing the door while saying "hi" and "bye" to me for at least an hour. When I stop, he has a complete meltdown/ It is so hard. If it is time to go inside, he has another meltdown and will cry for about 30 minutes. He wants to wrestle constantly (as much as I can with a 22 month old).