Kids say the darndest things

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It made my day reading these stories. It always amazes me that the kids get things in the right context!! ! Fantastic.

My nephew who is nearly 2 just loves the words "help me". The other day at the park his mother picked him up as it was time to go and then she had to walk across the park with this little boy throwing his arms and legs about shouting "help me, help me"! ! One lady walked up to my sister and asked her if there was a problem and who was the little boy!! !! Luckily his older brother piped up and said "he's my brother and thats our mummy"! !! Shannon said she felt like sinking into the ground!! !!

1) "I like everything lime... except limes."
2) (while discussing the difficulty of a video game level) "They're all hard except the easy ones... and the easy ones don't exist."
3) "Puppies don't really hurt you when they bite, because their teeth aren't sharp enough. The only way a puppy could cut you would be if it had a sword, and puppies can't use swords so we don't have to worry about that."

can you tell he's going through a phase of some particular sort of logic??? Categories, sorting, process of elimation, oh my!!

I have to translate this from swedish a bit, because I'm swedish And don't try to speak swedish with these words you see here....

Wordlist:

Puckelmyra = But dad! It's a ant with bumps! (ladybug)
Fiskpinne = Fishsticks. for fryingpan. Of course it's a fishstick! (fishing rod)
Glidpinne = Slimystick/jellybrown/look they're wet from the raind we have to save them! (earthworms). My daughter collected them when they where fleeing the rain up to ground level and she was quite pissed when they refused to stay where she put them so she just put them in a jar, tightly applied the lid, and when we found the jar later, it realy smelled EVIL....

We have a lot of these words, that when you think of it, is totaly logical. But not something you find in any dictionary.... Also a lot get lost in translation

Haha these are so funny.

The other night I said to my just receantly 3 year old daughter what a good baby her little brother was. She was eating dinner and didn't even look up and said "Babies suck" like I was the most annoying mother in the world blabbering about her baby lo.

My son's preschool brought in a Spanish teacher once a week and she taught the kids a bunch of Spanish words including body parts. Simultaneously, I was using Rosetta Stone with our son. Despite serious deficiencies in learning English, he was learning Spanish from the computer very quickly. One of the phrases he learned was "El nino come ...." which translates as "The young boy is eating ..." and he learned many things to fill in the blank.

One morning Martin and I were in the kitchen, my back to him. I heard him say, "El nino come nariz." I thought to myself, what can he mean? "Nariz" means "nose." And as I turned to look at him, he has moving his raised index finger from that part of his body and putting it into his mouth. I grabbed a tissue and started yet another lesson in personal hygiene.

How about this from my 7 year old son who I think is on the AS spectrum.
When asked by one of our friends at church how many friends he had at school, he silently held up 2 fingers. Mummy (me) got excited that he actually would acknowledge some people as friends, and asked him in private later, "Well, who are your 2 friends?"

Answer: " Me, and me!"

Lab Pet doesn't too often visit the Parents' Discussion since I'm neither parent nor child. But some amusing comments!

Mostly I was not (am not) too verbal, so when I did speak this was a rarity - my father wrote his 'favorites' from when I was little.
He died when I turned 12.

Lab Pet is an Alaskan, born & raised. And I love to play in the snow, since always. When I was 4 we were visiting Hawaii - really different biome. My father wrote that he placed me in an infamous sunny Hawaiian white-sand beach, which would have been a novelty for me.

He wrote that I then said, "Mmmm.....warm snow."

Most of my son's jokes only work in context....he is 9 but not really verbal-he has jargon dysphasia and frequently just communicates with songs he hears ( and expressive dance once, when he was really angry ). Recent song outbursts have included wrestling me to the floor in a shop we had apparently been in for too long whilst singing "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?"...we got some funny looks. He has seraneded his favourite teacher with " I will always love you" as well. Yes, he is working up to be quite manipulative with the mainly female teachers. (he likes to kiss them on the back of the hand, I don't know where he has learned that)

He's currently copying the phrases from his leap pad and films too, he has solemnly anounced to his school escort that "with great power comes great responsibility", and during the struggle to wash his hair told his grandma that "Dr Octopus is strong, but he is no match for spiderman"....as he made a wet break for freedom.

These are great! My son isn't very verbal yet but he has done one thing that seems to match the thread.

I play Vampire Wars on FaceBook and my son pointed to the avatar I have and looked at me questioningly. I said "Its a vampire" he continued the questioning look so I explained that vampires bite people but aren't real (we'll teach him semantics when he gets older). So he was having his normal developmental checkup with the school system for the preschool program and they asked if he did anything new since they last saw him so I asked him what vampires do and he went "Rawr" and started to pretend to bite his wrist. The evaluators nearly fell out of their chairs laughing.


I know one of the things I had a problem with when I was little was pronouncing the letter "R." They all became "W" sounds. I also had a favorite sleep shirt that I had to wear each night that was for the Durham Bulls baseball team and a Tenderheart Care-Bear that I named "heart baby" So I'll set the scene: I'm four at my very conservative grandmother and aunt's house after a bath and I want my shirt and bear. I start screaming to what my grandmother and aunt sounded like "Hot Baby Dumb Bull Sh*t, Hot Baby Dumb Bull Sh*t!! !" They hated my father for some reason and called my mother aghast that she let her husband expose her daughter to such foul language. My mother about died laughing when she had to explain that all I was really asking for was my shirt and my care-bear so that I could go to sleep.

my daughter drew me a card at age 2 and a half with a fairy and scribbles on it and i asked her what the card said-

"You are a beautiful fairy princess... with all of your magic in your wand"

One of my favorites from my then 5 year old that memorizes every commercial she sees on TV....

She overheard daddy and I talking about wanting another child. The next day she says, "Mommy do you love children?"

"Well yes, honey, of course I love children!"

"Is it because you want to increase your body fat?"

"Huh?"

"<Sigh> Yes, mommy. Body fat accumulates on your midsection, butt, and thighs. It increases from stress at work, getting older, and having children. I know you want another child, so I was thinking that you already have stress at work, you are DEFINATELY getting old...and the only reason I can think of that you would want another child is that you are doing everything you can think of to increase body fat and it isn't working and the only thing left is to have more children!"

My 6 year old loves the Simpsons and despite my many protests he always seems to be watching it. Everytime we are finished paying for something in a shop he says loud and clear 'Thankyou, come again' just like Apoo from the Simpsons, same accent same inflection. Most times people just chuckle when my son says this, however more recently we came upon an Indian looking cashier who did actually sound like Apoo when he spoke. I didn't even think about my son upsetting anyone with his little joke. Of course my son said it again and beemed the cashier one of his best smiles. There was stunned silence and when I looked the cashier was glaring at my son. I was about to explain that he says this to everyone and means nothing by it, but the look on this guys face told me to shut up and get out of there ASAP. LOL

When my oldest son was around 3 and had just got his language back. His father and I told him it was time to go to bed. He looked at his dad and said "OK make sure you go to the toilet first. We don't want any accidents" We laughed and told him that we meant he had to go to bed. He was suitably unimpressed by this information and quickly said "You 2 are ruining my life, you know" God only knows where he got that one from but we did finally get him into bed.

Cheeers

Sometimes my 7 year old grandson is a bit too honest.

Aunt Ness gave him a t-shirt. When he wore it one day, she asked, " Did you wear that shirt to make me happy?"
"no", He replied
"Why did you wear that shirt"
In all sincerity he answered, " I wore it because, Mom told me to, to make you happy."

My Parents Run Thier own retail business. One day after counting out the days total, my dad turned to me and said "Just imagin what we could have done if you would have put all the money in the register". we both laughed and I went back to working on the front counter.

A little while later my son "jay" came and asked me, why I was stealing from his grandpa.

Needles to say we no longer make jokes like that around Jay.

my 7 year old son had a 17 year old cousin living with his grandparents (my wife's parents), so he overheard many cuss words and other things.. the f-word being the most prevalent.

We were at my friends house, any my friends mother is my sons godmother.. as we're sitting in the living room conversing, my son looks at her, pipes up in a very casual way, "Where are my f*%@ing jelly beans?" just as plain as anyone else would have said, Has anyone seen my jelly beans?