Does anyone elses child have obsessions with war etc

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my son is 7 and obsessed with blowing things up, wacking, killing etc, every game he plays involves the same thing. We went out for luch today (which resulted in a very stressed out day, should have known better really) and everyone he meets he just makes shooting noises at or punches them and makes blowing up or shooting noises. Its a major obsession and the voilence thing is really worrying me.

I think it is a typical stage that little boys go through. I heard someone on NPR say it was actually a way for boys to act upon a desire to " protect the tribe". I think if you take away a little boy's toy gun, he will just go find a stick and say bang bang. If you see him harming animals-then that's the time to be concerned.

Dearheart, when I was growing up in the early-mid sixties, the favorite toy of choice in our neighborhood was a full-size replica M16 that made real machine-gun noises. Every 7 year old boy in America had at least one GI Joe with his own armory and then there were the cowboy accessories the base of which was a two-revolver gunbelt and a rifle for shooting villains an' injuns. Oh, and thanks to the Daniel Boone TV series, the coonskin cap had made a sudden resurgence in popularity and always came with a rifle and a plastic Bowie knife.

I remember spending hours playing on the floor with plastic armies, including tanks, cannons and jet fighters while my mom sewed and watched Twelve O'Clock High on the morning movie. You won't see it in the edited versions that air today, but even on Johnny Quest cartoons, it was not unusual to see people get shot!

And yet, school shootings were unheard of. Hell, mass shootings of any kind outside of an actual war were unthinkable. It wasn't until 1968 that the first lone (adult) nut job climbed a clock tower and went sniper on innocent victims. Even after that, it didn't happen again for nearly two decades.

It's all in the upbringing. Pretend violence is not dangerous, as long as the child understands the difference. Of course, there's always one idiot kid who thinks its okay to poke people in the eyes, because he saw the Stooges do it, but he's the kid whose parents consider themselves too busy to take an interactive role in his life - and that kid always has anger issues as a result. Which, IMHO is the real problem that leads to youth violence.

If you're truly concerned, then make sure you don't buy him video games that actually teach him how to aim and fire the 'pretend' gun - at a realistic-looking human target. Of course, even there, the real problem is the parent who tosses a game in the kids' lap and leaves the console to raise the kid instead of doing it themselves. I know several teenage young men obsessed with military video games who will never be dangerous - and I know that, because I know their parents.

I'd say it's no problem, and if it were, it's something we as a modern society created. In the past, boys played cops and robbers, tag, dodgeball, or simply chased each other around the park or even an empty parking lot. Any violence that took place had boundaries, mild injuries were commonplace, and no one thought much of it. (This refers to voluntary play, not bullying.) Boys who grew up with fathers in the military might have played simulation military games that they made up themselves. Fathers took their sons fishing (or even hunting) on a semi-regular basis, where they had freedom to run around, climb trees, and practice their throwing skills.

Not so in today's world. People try to protect their kids from violence so much, that even playful violence becomes a forbidden fruit. Don't fall into that trap. At the same time, teach him that it's unacceptable to make shooting or explosive noises with people he meets. (Except maybe with his friends, who might have that as an inside joke or a game they play.) Find good outlets for his behavior. Encourage him to try laser tag, where he'll be able to run and shoot people (with lasers, that is) in a controlled environment. If he understands that there places where some type of violence is acceptable, he won't do it outside of those places.

Should he get into paintball (which can be seen as a more extreme form of laser tag) when he becomes a teenager, don't stop him. It teaches people coordination, quick reflexes, running, (the skills that are highly valued among teens), and it's good exercise. Interestingly, it actually has lower injury rates than many traditional sports.

I dont think you need to worry about your child becoming violent due to his interest.

I also have an interest in military equipment of all kinds from all eras of history. From basic swords, and the first metal and hide body armor, up to modern day aircraft, ships, tanks, missiles, guns, etc. I watch a great deal of history channel and the military channel. I am a buff on the tactics and strategies of war, both ancient and modern. I play war games, and computer games that involve fighting against other people (Half life 2 and mods). I have had this interest since I can remember, and so far I have yet to go on any violent killing sprees.

Your son sounds like he is being a typical boy IMO. I would however take the time to explain to him that he cant just go up to people and start wrestling or playing war first thing. He should introduce himself first, then ask the other person if they wish to play. Beyond that procedural mishap, I dont see any thing to worry about.

You forgot the important one teamwork.

Personally I find fictional violence a nice way to harmlessly burn off any aggression I have even then its not much, most fictional violence is "adventure" rather than "kill! burn! maim!"

I'm obsessed with war and killing things and I'm 25 (and look how I turned out! )

Funnel it into military history or even wargaming. Get him a fairly detailed book about modern tanks, something that you could spend hours thinking about, the merits of this armament vs another, various tactics, ect. Believe me, nothing lets me switch off like the application of military tactics and switching off is the closest to psychological stability for the autistic as it gets.