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Hi I have a 3 year old daughter dxed HFA mild to moderate at 2. She is in an autism preschool with some kids that more severly impared than she is. Her teacher is great and for some time thought that she was too social and advanced to have autism. From what I understand a mildly affected child can be social (I wouldn't exactly call her warm and friendly all the time, sometimes seems oblivious to people) but may be inappropriate and akward during interactions. I would say this describes her well. And she is much better than she used to be before intervention.

What do you think? What are your experiences? Do any of you have a child with ASD who is similar.

A new behavior has come up with her new vocabulary. She is RUDE to people. Telling them to "go away" or to "go to bed" when they say hi to her. Her grandmother told her she loved her and she said "no love you" she hardly talks and when she does its hurtful. She has spells of negativity (lasting weeks) in which she says no to all interaction and requests made by adults. When you even look at her she says no. She even says no to favorite activities and treats, and must be restrained to get in the car or out of the car or to change clothes.

Her teacher thinks she may have Oppositioal Defiance Disorder.

Please tell me what you think of this behavior. Should I get another evaluation? I know she has repeditive behavior like pouring beans back and forth and water and so on. She also has sensory issues...and I'm almost positive she has and auditory processing disorder.

Does this sound familiar to any one? The parents here are so great and super informed with tons of experience. Any input or advice would be greatly appriciated!!

Thanks
p

all i want to say is that she's 3.....even my NT son was oppositional at age 3. sure, she seems to be going through an oppositional phase, but i'd be hesitant to put a label on it. sometimes, behaviors have antecedents that don't seem to make sense to NTs but the behaviors make sense to the autie/aspie........for instance: i had a student,Joe ( not his real name) that was perfectly happy one minute, but when i went to say hi to another student ~Joe lashed out at him....now, some people would figure that the reason he lashed out was because Joe had just transitioned from his classroom to my classroom and was experiencing anxiety...others would say that Joe lashed out because he didn't like the other student....the real reason??? Joe was jealous that I was paying attention to someone other than him.
i guess what i'm trying to say in all of this is it would be a good idea to really look at what is causing this behavior ~look at everything....have you made any dietary changes ? have there been any changes in your household ? what happens 30 minutes/20 minutes/5 minutes before she becomes oppositional ? if she's focusing most of her negative energy on one person, then you can be sure that her anger has something to do with that person ( although, again, it might not make sense to you)....my aspie son gets particularly agitated when i sigh.

Ster,

Thanks for your input. You have said helpful things. This weekend my daughter has become increasingly agitated. I am going to take her to the doctor on Monday and see if she sick.

Again, thanks. I will pass on what you have said to the teacher. Your help is greatly appriciated.

Thanks
p

At the age of 3, any child's favorite word is likely to be "no"! That your daughter is HFA makes it more likely that she will use this "no" to reject social interaction that makes her feel insecure. I'm no expert, of course, but that's what it seems like to me. I just wouldn't take it personally.

Callista

As an AS woman, do you remember if you were agressive as a child? I am finding out on this site that many AS people were considered agressive til about 5. Also do you remember being anxious as a child?

thanks for taking the time to reply!! !! !! !!!1

Yes, I was both. I had a lot of "temper tantrums"--the kicking, screaming, lose-control sort.

My HFA is very social - he'll strike up conversations in elevators.

But, the *conversation* quickly becomes a monologue.

As far as aggressive, yes, we've seen that. He is still prone to meltdowns and tantrums at age 9.

When he was little we anticipated the usual *terrible twos* but it never happened. He saved it all up for when he was 3.

Part of child development is that toddlers will eventually try to control their own selves and that contributes to the *terrible twos.* It could be there is an issue with the *no* like ster writes, or it could be part of her development - learning to try and control her own environment.

I have a theory. Could it be that any imposition into your daughter's life is like a jackhammer shattering a slab of concrete? If the sensory issues are overwhelming, any disruption could be highly agitating. When I was little, I could not respond but I felt it on the inside. Someone saying 'hello' to me was like a giant gong struck in my face. When someone said something that required a response it felt as if they had just punched me in the stomache. My ears would hear the sound of my hearbeat and the rushing of blood and I would feel as though I were traveling backward for a great distance at a fast speed. I was usually mute, even though I knew how to talk. As long as the person dealing with me was a calm, quiet person who didn't require much from me, I was okay. Of course, this was seldom the case. I am grateful that we did spend alot of time at home and we had a quiet, orderly household and I spent alot of time outside. We lived in the country and it was quiet and beautiful; calming. I feel that I needed the peace and solitude but some thing that aggressive, early intervention is better. (I am grateful that I did not get that)