LO will not work with me. Advise needed.

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MoreThanThat
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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01 May 2016, 9:54 pm

Hello parents,

My moderately autistic kindergartner will not do any work with me. All they want to do is to sit by my side, or in my lap, while watching TV. I am grateful that they want to do this (it could be worse) but as soon as I bring out any learning materials (we do Montessori), they flee.

It's very difficult and frustrating for me. We do some private ABA (mostly just learning to match / sort / play with toys etc) but the tutors won't do pre-academics, so that's up to me. My LO is able to learn with the ABA tutors, but won't work with me at all.

How do other parents manage to get their children to work with them ? I am looking at engaging my LO for about 20 minutes at a time (tops), but even this is hard for them, even though they sit with their tutors for up to 45 minutes at a time !

Am I doing something wrong ? The tutors do not give any edible rewards, but they do give LO frequent breaks. I am doing the same thing in vain hope that LO will be more willing to work with me, but no luck yet.

Please help.



ASDMommyASDKid
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02 May 2016, 9:55 am

You may have to do learning in a different way. Special interests are a really good in, and it is easier to get compliance using them. Many autistic kids do not do well with typical structured learning. There is a type of Montessori which allows for a more child-centered experience, where the child picks the activity and the materials, or I thought there was two different branches: Unstructured and more rigid. If you are doing the rigid type, perhaps switch to something more child-centered.



traven
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02 May 2016, 10:33 am

What's a LO? is it one or two kids :?:
Change your style, play with them, (lego's?) and use that for learning. Ask them questions, while looking tv with you, colors, numbers, etc, and let them ask you the same questions for fun.
Learning is everywhere!



zette
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02 May 2016, 12:27 pm

Maybe he or she just wants you to be "mom" and not "teacher". Are you planning to homeschool? What learning activities are you wanting to do? What do you want him or her to learn?

At this age, you could do educational videos during your TV time -- Word World and the other PBS shows, LeapFrog Letter Factory. Check out what DVD's are available at your local library.

Also there are a lot of good early literacy and early math apps -- LetterSchool is particularly good for teaching how to write letters. Monkey Preschool, Monkey Math, Giraffe Preschool, etc.

Online, MathSeeds is also very good.



cakedashdash
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02 May 2016, 3:31 pm

you could make it play
I don't know if these would work for you

Signing time DVDS I think signing time is on Netflix and many libraries have it
it teaches signing and has helped some children's communication

website starfall.com child will have to sit on lap while you go through fun phonics songs and games and mini movies

what tv shows movies does you child like to watch maybe you could include book on tapes, books and small games that include these shows

just and idea: flash card game you make a face out of card board and feed flashcards to the face.
use toys games they already like to gain interaction sometimes just play can be educational

other educational shows I like Cyberchase, odd squad beekman's world

music DVDs they might Be giants has a great number DVD with music and vids

I made little ebooks for my child with photos of my child and simple words. My child loved the stories they helped with reading. They weren't social stories per say though I did make one about the potty.

cooking shows introduce kids to new foods
does your child like fast food, or going out to eat. There all kinds of lessons that can be taught with an ice cream cone or a burger such as making choices.



DW_a_mom
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02 May 2016, 4:11 pm

I don't know what you mean by "LO" but ...

You've brought up one reason that I never, ever homeschooled my son. There were some rough years in middle school where I put it on the table for him, but the simple reality with my son is that he likes his life in little boxes, and my box was never, to him, the one labeled "school time" (he had a lot of trouble doing homework at home, too; even now in college he NEVER studies in his room or even in the dorm; he will stay all night at the library if he has to).

So, as someone else pointed out, your children may simply not want to be in a formalized teacher - student role with you (I say formalized because even if it is without workbooks and drills, we are our children's main teachers). It isn't unusual for children, and especially ASD children, to create boxes that define their lives, and trying to do anything that goes outside of those boxes is not likely to be an easy process. If you have no choice, that is one thing, but if you DO have a choice, then you will find everyone is happier if you honor the box.


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Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


MoreThanThat
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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02 May 2016, 10:18 pm

Hi all, thanks for your responses.

LO = little one !