Frustration!! !

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Why is it that people do not listen?????

I go blue in the face trying to explain that my son (who is 20) is unable to go into a workplace where there are lots of other workers or do anything that requires co-ordination and fine motor skills!! !

Its like I am talking to a brick wall because they still keep sending him to totally unsuitable jobs and then he fails and I have to pick up the pieces!!

One of my "extra" sons took him to his work as a concreter just to give him some experience and some cash and he gave me great feedback but they couldnt keep him on because he was unable to be given more than one instruction at a time, he cannot hurry even though he understands the concept but just cannot physically make himself go faster and he couldnt do some of the more difficult tasks. The good thing was that all the boys that worked for this firm are friends so they didnt harass Shea and they supported him - but that is the only positive experience he has had.

The attitude I have come across is that Shea has to "suck it up and learn to do things properly". And if I go into bat for him they treat me like an overprotective mother and it seems to make things worse for him.

I think they only see what is in front of them and he looks "nomal"! !!

Finding an understanding employer who will work with Shea is my dream and I am staying positive that it will happen.

Hang in there were all pulling for you guys. Has he tried putting out flier offering to do brick borders on flower beds ect for private home owers? That way he can work at his own pace and charge a flat rate for his work not a by the hour thing. If I remeber right you said he had done a brick laying class and did very well at it and enjoyed the work. My parents just had something like that done in there own yard and it took a good week to finsh so moving slowly for a contractor doing such work is common. I know had it been done neatly with care my mother wouldn't have called me about it 18 times. Now if only we could get your AS son to work for my OCD mother we might all be happy.

Who is "They"? The unemployment/job service?

The reality is your son is going to have to set the direction of his own life. No one will be able to set a course for him that will make him happy. You cannot count on the job service people to get it or make it right. This is something your son needs to handle.

He needs to take the bull by the horns and come to grips with reality that the world will not be able to accomodate him. He needs to accomodate it. He can do so by trying to match his talents, interests and passions with a job or business (his own perhaps) that can earn him enough money to make a decent living. It's never easy, even for NT's. I meander through life from job to job until I finally started my own company in my 30's.

I guess what I'm trying to say don't be mad at the job service people. They're probably doing all they can. If you can't think of a job that would fit him perfectly how in the world would they be able to?

Good luck with this, I know there are no easy answers.

A very small firm or self-employed may be the ticket. I totally feel your frustration. What are the odds of him going back to school for a more intellectual job, assuming he has typical AS smarts just in limited areas?

The slow speed is associated with AS, and I am that way as a worker, as well, even though I'm more NT than AS. I've always made up for it by being really, really good at what I do. What you have to find is that field. Or, something where he agrees to be paid by output instead of by time - I know he'll make less that way, but sometimes that just has to be. I accepted it for myself long ago, as has my husband, who also has slow work speed.

He's only 20. With so many AS acquiring life skills later than NT kids, he may as well be 15. Approach these issues with him as if he really was a 15 year old being forced to live a 20 year old's life. If you have to explain the "why" to him and to potential employers, so be it. You're his best advocate.

I'm just sorry that it has to be so frustrating. Not looking forward to it myself.

I don't have the answers, that is why I am here looking for advice! I have a 13 yr old stepson on the spectrum somewhere (diagnosed with NVLD but people here are saying he doesn't really fit it, they say he seems more MFA or HFA and I actually agree) and he wants to become a nurse (like I am) or a doctor. Well, I can't think of a profession where nonverbal communication and empathy are more needed than nursing, and he has trouble with both. But I do agree with the above post that he needs to find out where he fits in the world and not the other way around. Most jobs are social and require juggling more than one task at a time so I haven't figured out what would be good for a person who has trouble with those things. My other trouble is that he hasn't been told about his diagnosis (PDD-NOS at age 4 and NVLD at age 12), his parents don't want him to know.

The job people most likely don't have a good understanding of autism. It's hard to understand unless you live with it or around it. I mean, because I live with a kid on the spectrum, I now sorta understand the issues involved, but before I met my husband, I never met a kid like my stepson before. Yes, they look totally normal, it's not until you have a conversation with them that things seem a little strange and even that is subtle at first. I used to think my stepson was talking on and on about GPS systems, but maybe that is just the mood he is in today. Then you realize he is always like that, always giving tons of information and details about something you have no interest in and the conversation is one-sided.

Is there anything he is passionate about? My stepson is passionate about cars. He would hate working on cars because he can't handle anything messy or gooey or sticky on his hands but he collects car rental agreements from his dad, and warranties and then pretends he is filling out a new one. He would probably love working at a place that rents cars or perhaps selling cars. If it were a car he liked he would know everything about that car obsessively.