Mealtimes - Getting my 6 year old aspie to eat in <90m!

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My DS is 6 and has always been hard work in the food dept. We have successfully implemented a Wheat and Dairy free diet for 2 years.

Still though, behaviourally, he takes forever to eat - never wants to eat when we do - preferes to snack, plays with his food, wont sit down for the meal - up and down up and down - always says he doesn't like it (suspect because he had no choice in what it is but Im to scared to offer a choice as it adds stress) and generally is sending me Grey... HELP...

I would be so grateful for any advice, coping strategies, stuff that worked for you!! !

Many thanks in advance.

I don't know, we let her (my daughter) eat when she feel to (usually many small snack). I think she will learn to eat in a "normal" way with time (as I did), I started eating "normaly" at around 18 y-old (normally) and around 8 y-old in constrained situation (X-mas, wedding and the like).

If your child eats their meal in under 90 minutes then they are eating faster then I do. I usually just get my food, and put it beside me while I am working, watching TV, etc. I then lean over and have a few bites every few minutes. Takes me about 2-3 hours to completely finish a meal. If I try to shove the food down my throat like a normal person, I just feel very sick, and usually get indigestion. My stomach just can't handle all that food that fast. So, I have to take it slowly in small pieces over time.

One of my sons is a very slow eater too. We don't worry about it much, and try to allow for plenty of time and substantial snacks (for when he can't eat much). He needs to take frequent breaks during the meal (he bounces a yoga ball in the adjoining room for a couple minutes and then comes back). Being forced to just sit and eat is sheer torture for him. We do try to teach table manners, but we don't really push them, just information and gentle reminders. When we are at a restaurant/have guests we talk to him beforehand about our expectations and make allowances for his needs (such as a short walk between courses), and he can do quite well when he needs to. But it would take way to much energy for him to be on that best behaviour at every meal, so most of the time we let him eat how he needs to without worrying too much about it.

As far as the choice thing, could you maybe give him just two options to choose from? Or maybe he could just choose the fruit or vegetable? Maybe some small choice like, "Will you have apples or celery?" rather than "What do you want to eat?" wouldn't overwhelm him, and would help him to enjoy his meal more?

Something that has really helped us recently has been to get our sons involved in the food preparation. Once a week, we have a special meal. I encourage them to each choose one recipe from my cookbooks and then I work one on one with each of them to prepare their dish. I really try to stand back and let them do as much as they can safely. They enjoy the sharp knives and the hot stove! I think it appeals to their sense of adventure. If they start to get overwhelmed from a sensory point of view (for example touching something that is the "wrong" texture), I step in and they take a break. They have AMAZED me at how much they were willing to do and try, and it has really improved their relationship with food in general (it's not quite as scary and mysterious when you see where it comes from and how it's made). Your son, being only 6 may be a bit young for this yet (mine are 9 years old), but maybe not, it would depend on the particular kid.

Oh my word, 90 minutes? That's an awful long time. Unless I'm trying something new, or eat something really expensive, my average eating time is around 15-30 minutes, and that's for supper. When I was younger, my dad often yelled at me to slow down.

I would adapt to it, as long as he gets the nutrition he needs in his own way. Some kids are graze eaters, some can't stand to sit down, and so on. If you want to have family dinners, make it more a social time than a "you must eat at this moment" time. Sometimes I've fed my kids so many veggies before dinner that they don't want any dinner; the more important thing is what they've eaten than when they eat it. But they know we like to sit down as a family whether actually eating together or not. And it helps that my husband keeps them laughing - he's got a wicked sense of humor.

I agree with DW: adapt until he becomes a teenager...then he won't be able to cram enough food in his mouth fast enough. At least that's been my experience, started off as a picky, slow eater as a child, grows up to become a ravenous young adult

My son is a grazer and a picky eater. Currently he's rejecting a lot of foods that he has been eating for the past maybe 6 months to a year. He won't sit still at the table, and would rather talk than eat. As he has always been small and thin for his age I prefer to let him eat what and in the way he choses so that he is actually eating, and it is much less stressful.

I skim read a book at my local Autism Resource Centre recently about children on the Spectrum who are picky eaters. I'll try and find out what it's called. I was actually laughing out loud as I read it! It was just so good to read about children and parents in a similar situation.

Edited to add: The book is called "Can't Eat, Won't Eat" by Brenda Legge. I actually can't remember if it contained any advice that would be helpful to the OP, but it was good to read about someone else's experiences - especially the steadfast refusal to eat anything with "bits" in it.

Oh my goodness I almost fell out of my chair when I saw refusal to eat anything with "bits" in it! My daughter does the same thing and uses the exact same terminology! When we go to the store and I ask her, for example, what type of yogurt she wants this week...she will examine the flavors and then hold up the yogurt and say "mommy this flavor looks good but does it have any bits in it?" ROFL!

My son is six and his eating is crazy. He only eats a couple of bites at meals and he cant sit down either. ITS SO Stressful! He also gags when he see food or smells something that he doesnt like. So I dont know how hes going to get over this but if he sits with us he cant handle see or food. It drives me nuts! His foods are: chicken nuggets, dairy free chocolate, chocolate soy milk and peanut butter and jelly.