Hi, 5yo son diagnosed yesterday...

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Hi everyone... My 5 year old, Gage, was diagnosed with Asperger's yesterday, confirming our suspicions. This is tough... No one wants anything to be going on with their child, but at least we got on the ball with it early. They're working up an IEP program now for him and I'll go back Nov. 12 to review and approve it.I hate going to all those meeting by myself, my husband's employer won't let him off work. I have been strong though, and I believe I've been a good advocate for my little buddy. I really have to say that I adore the team he's got working with him, and his teacher is incredible. I could not ask for more caring, understanding, and supportive people for Gage. I'm lucky. And I'm lucky to have such an incredible little boy. I love how his little brain works, it's amazing to me. He's SO smart, perceptive, sensitive, funny, and artistic. I guess that's it for now, just wanted to introduce myself. As you can see I have a range of emotions going on...

Welcome and goodluck!

Welcome to WP This community is one of the best resources I have found for getting questions answered from people who have been there and done that. Getting your son diagnosed and setting up an IEP for him this early in his life are some of the most important things you can do to help your child. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Hope to see you on here!

Thanks so much...

Welcome!

Kudos for being so supportive - if an autistic needs anything throughout their life, its loved ones willing and ready to act as advocates (fine line - too much help can sometimes cultivate dependencies). I'm finding the advocates for kids are plentiful, however - it's ASD adults who are left in the cold.

I do take some issue though, when parents use language in describing their children with AS that makes it sound as though they have a terminal illness.

On the one hand, it's not as awful as all that - in the grand scheme of things there are many, many conditions that would have been far worse. On the other hand, the limitations and hurdles that come with AS are very real, though mostly invisible to the casual observer, and they are lifelong - all the teachers, therapists and advocates in the world are NEVER going to make those difficulties go away.

Don't let anyone convince you that any amount of mollycoddling 'social skills therapy' is going to fix anything. Your AS child will learn and adapt through experience and cruel circumstance in the real world, and then gradually, and ultimately to a limited extent. I don't mean to make it sound like retardation (though perhaps in a sense the word is applicable within a certain range), but we pick up what we pick up and in the end most of us function passably well - on the surface.

And that's both the boon and the curse of this disorder - that we manage to approximate the look of normalcy so well so much of the time, that when we are actually having an impossible time coping, no one wants to believe there's really anything wrong - we're just being obstinate, lazy, weak, or outright odd.

I guess what I'm saying is - don't feel defeated when you realize that 'getting on the ball with it early' is a meaningless concept where AS is concerned. It is what it is - and what it is is an alternate wiring diagram for individual perception (an atypical brain function).

What it is not, is a DISEASE.

welcome

I hear you about ASD adults being left in the cold. I would like to learn how to help and advocate for ASD adults, but I'm super-cautious about this because I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want to insert my help where its not wanted or needed, and I certaintly don't want to make things worse. I also don't want to hijack the thread or anything, so do you know of any threads where this is being discussed, or can you point me to other resources that are doing good work? I guess the question is, how can an NT help without making matters worse?

Really what I meant by saying we were on the ball early on is that I hope to avoid some of the things others that are diagnosed later in life have suffered through. I know what it's like to be the outcast socially, I know how cruel people are, and I know my son is sensitive in a lot of ways. Just today I had to explain to him that when his sister came up to hug him and he pushed her away it hurt her feelings. He didn't think about it until I said something, but when he realized he immediately hugged her and was sweet with her. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, he just didn't think about it that way I guess. Maybe he'll pick up on the things we teach him socially and it will help ease his social awkwardness some...