What would you do???

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Hi all,
I need some opinions, and I thought what better place to come for a mixed variety than here with others that either have AS or a raising a child with AS.
I'm having a meeting with my sons school on Monday, and one of the things that will be talked about is what class J will be in next year.
A little bit of back ground info to help you all come up with an opinion, ll opinions are welcome, I need to look at this from every angle. Ok here goes:
J is 11 (this coming Friday) he has AS,ADHD,OCD,GAD and tourettes dx's. We live in Australia so our school year will be ending in December, J is currently in grade 4. At the start of this year J started at a new school. The new school have a very different structure to what he had been used to, they have what is called multi aged learning ie, he is currently in a grade 2, 3, 4 unit/classroom. There are approx 45 children in his unit and two fantastic teachers. In previous years at J's old school he would have been in composite classrooms with just two grade levels and one teacher, and every year his room was changed. Except grade two, where he repeated that year level (we didn't know about AS then), J's room wasn't changed but the teacher and the kids were changed. We were also never told until the last day of school what grade he would be in for the following year. J wasn't coping at the last school, no allowances were ever made for J and the school refused to acknowledge his AS, he had no real friends, he was teased and extremely unhappy etc. It has taken a while for the new school to really get to know J but they are truelly trying. They always put his needs and interests first. J has really bonded with his current teachers, and he is reasonable comfortable in the classroom. His current teachers picked up very early on that he doesn't cope with change, there for when ever his current classroom had to be split amongst the other classrooms within the school for any reason, J was always kept in his normal room. This situation has been great for J's current emotional well being however it has meant that he has never been exposed to any of the teachers outside of grade levels 2-4 or their classrooms. At J's previous school I was continuely told J was fine (I knew he wasn't) and that acedemically he was exactly where he should be (again I knew he wasn't). We have truelly discovered this year just how far behind J is, his reading is well above average, his maths is well below (he is currently doing grade 2 level maths and struggling) his spelling and physical writing are poor, the content and knowledge in his writing is great. His interpersonal skills are hahaha poor (apparently just a little behind at his last school, yeah what ever). Any way I seriously doubt that he is ready for grade 5 next year. He can't repeat again its out of the question (I wouldn't do it to him) he would be 14 by the end of grade 6, not an option. He doesn't yet have an aide however an appeal for funding is in and we are waiting on an answer (the first application was knocked back, this blew everyone away) his last school wouldn't even consider applying for funding for him. Considering all that I have now told you what would you do if J were your child or what would you want if you were J?
The school are willing to restructure their classroom to accomodate for the kids on the spectrum. I was given a heads up on two possible options that would be put to me on Monday.
Option one; J moves up to the next unit (a whole new classroom and new set of teachers etc) the next unit is grade 1, 5 and 6 again multi aged, (it works well apparently) he can stay in this room for the next two years until high school. , so no more change until high school. Or the new option that the school are willing to try is Option two; J can stay right where he is, his current classroom, same teachers, and mostly the same kids however they will extend the unit to include some grade 5 students ie 2,3,4,5 same numbers of students though. however at this stage they are saying that if option two is taken up, he will probably (most likely) need to change classroom the following year for grade 6 his final year before leveling primary school all together.
What would you guys suggest/do if faced with the same options?

cheers aurea xoxox

I'm an Aspie mom of 4 NT kids. I hated school because I was always picked on. I went to a private school, but not special ed. Nobody knew about AS way back then and I was just "wierd". I made A's and B's though and was promoted every year, but we didn't have the multiage rooms except in high school with some classes. So, that's my background on this.

My opinion on this is kind of torn. I'm thinking that if he's got friends and likes his teachers and is doing good there and you can keep him there another year that might be good, because during this next year not only would he learn more social skills but he might find a close friend or two who can really help him with that. Then again, every new school year I always looked forward to the new year, new class, new teacher etc with the hopes that this year would be different and I could maybe make friends etc. So, I don't know if he's thinking that or not. Have you asked him what he wants?

As for being 14 in the 6th, whats so bad about that? My NT son will be 15 when he gets out of the 7th grade. He's failed several times, but not due to a learning disability or anything. His is entirely behaviorial. He does have a mild case of ADHD and we are trying some meds this time.

PaganMom

What does J say?

Lol, I'm coping out. I see pro's and con's either way, so fall back to needing a feel for which pro's and con's stand out the strongest for this unique child.

I like the mult-level classrooms for a child like him very much, for that should allow him exposure to the skills he needs at the level he needs without having to title him to a lower grade. Purely acedemically, I would say the 2-3-4-5.

Thanks for the replies PaganMom and Dw_a_mom . I was hoping for more replies, but ah well.
I have asked J what he wants, that was the first thing I did. There is no point my deciding on something that is going to affect him, if he has set ideas about what he wants.
Hmmm but as I thought "he doesn't know". J doesn't do choices. The only thing he was very clear about is wanting to make sure he would be in grade 5. I assured him that yes he would.
I'm leaning towards keeping him in his current classroom with the extended year level. Then making sure that his teachers use the year to integrate him as much as possible into his future grade 6 classroom. J does finally this year have a "best friend" . However his best friend is on the spectrum as well. I have been told that both boys wont be placed in the same classroom, the teachers couldn't cope. This was never said in a bad way, this is because both boys have their own opinions and ideas and interests, and the teachers struggle now to get the boys to listen and get on with their work. When both boys are together the rest of the world could disappear and they wouldn't notice. .
I'm thinking an extra year in his current room (2,3,4 and then 5) would allow for J to maybe catch up on some of the younger year level work without really pointing it out to everyone else. He would be in a room he is comfortable with and have teachers that he trusts and that have already put in 12months getting to know him. I'm also think by having him move to grade 6 the following year could semi prepare him for the transition of being thrown into high school, however he would be doing it in a "safe" environment. Does that make sense? Am I missing something? Can you guys see faults to what I'm thinking?

Cheers aurea

It sounds like the 2-3-4-5 is a good choice. It will give J the security of staying in a classroom he knows and it will give him some time to catch up without being singled out. It's great that your school has such options

Sounds like you made the best choice for J . The only thing I'd add is to make sure he has play dates with his best buddy over your summer break, but I'm thinking you already got that in the works. So relax take a deep breath and enjoy the improments in Js life that make things better for the both of you.

Hi Aurea

First of all the only advice I could give you would be based on what I would do with my son, but as you know what might work for one person would not neccesarily work for another. My son is nearly 10 and has ASD and numerous other medical complaints and quirks.

We live in Brisbane, Australia and it took me from preschool to Grade 4 to find a school that would accomodate James. It broke my heart because I could see a wonderful, smart, loving little boy and his teachers saw a troublesome child that would not conform. They were trying to fit my shiny little circle into a square hole and it was just never going to happen. So I got tough!! I ranted, raved and stomped my feet at the Qld Dept of Education until they found me a school that they promised would accomodate James and all of his difficulties. And amazingly they did. So here is what I have learnt that may help you.

James is a fantastic reader, in fact better than most adults, but his handwriting is that of a year one child due to some muscular issues( he now uses a laptop instead). However, I was initially also told that his Maths ability was that of a year 2 child and that his story writing ability was non existent. I knew this wasn't true because he could play World of Warcraft and understand the economy and calculate his auction items perfectly. He could also tell me the most amazing story based scenarios that he had just thought up. So when we started at his new school at the beginning of this year I challenged his teacher. I told her I knew all of the information was there in his head and that he just needed a teacher who could find a unique way of teaching that would bring it out. His end of first semester report card was horrific, they were unable to complete the exams as they said he just didn't have the ability. Once again I issued the challenge that this was a smart child who just needed a creative thinker to help him learn.

End of year exams have now finished and my son will be finishing with great marks and one of the better students in his class thanks to a beautiful teacher who saw something spark in my son and did everything in her power to make that spark shine. We have pushed him to his limit this year and he is a happier and more confident child because of it. Next year he will be in Grade 5 and the change scares him but change is something he will simply have to go through, it is a part of life and I can't shield him from that.

Ok lol so that was a really long way of saying that I would make the choice of putting him in the 5/6 class and just being there to support him every step of the way even tutor him at home to help out if need be. He will only need a couple of succeses and his confidence will soar and he will be off and running. Change is a scary thing but not giving him enough change is even scarier because he needs to learn to cope with it as life is full of change. Also don't take them at their word with his academic ability and make sure they don't underestimate him. I trust my instincts and my instincts tell me that you have a little Einstein their just waiting to emerge.