my nt son starting kinder....Im freeking out.......

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25 Jan 2010, 3:37 pm

Im not sure what forum this belongs in so I will try here as well.......


I am a single mum with a 4.5 yr old nt son. He is going to start kinder next week and I am freeking out about all the new things/people I will have to deal with......
Im not good with thinking on my feet and quite often don't say anything in case I say the wrong thing.
I am just really scared of meeting new people as I am a really bad judge of character. I don't want to come across as dumb, and I am getting in a panic just thinking about it.
Any ideas would be great.....
Thanks.



Peko
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25 Jan 2010, 5:32 pm

1. Relax
a. main focus will be on your child, not you (if he's good you look good, if he's bad you look bad kinda deal)
b. this is all a part of growing up in modern day society- its inevitable
2. Prepare ahead of time for talking to people/dealing w/ certain situations
a. dealing w/ the teacher(s)/aides (don't know how his school works)/ be polite, listen to what they have to say, ask your son himself how school is going etc., address any concerns about him with the teacher
b. good possibility your son will make friends & he or his friends/parents will suggest something like "play dates"; you might want to decide what your policies are when it comes to your son going to other people's homes/bringing friends over
3. When in doubt, just listen and nod and use professional/formal language (especially with administration from your son's school)
a. My guess is with other parents it will be intros, hello/bye type of deals & exchanging info (like addresses) if your kids visit each other
b. Try to maintain "relaxed" eye contact (at least focus on the face or make it look like your watching your son) at the very least & watch nervous habits (you know what you have/don't have so I won't elaborate)

Good Luck :D


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DW_a_mom
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25 Jan 2010, 8:07 pm

Peko's list is great.

Parents are pretty easy, at least where I live. We're not there to judge each other; we're there for our kids. Over time, you get to know the parents of children your child is friendly with, and maybe some of the actively volunteering parents. Pay attention to what sorts of jobs the school is looking for parent volunteers for, and find one that fits your style. Some things parents can do involve no contact with other people at all, but create very grateful teachers, and feeling you have defined role with the "group" will make things easier for you.


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Vivienne
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26 Jan 2010, 12:21 am

Unspoken protocol:

Expected Actions: Show affection to your child upon leaving. Other parents watch for: hugs, kisses, reassurance to the child, sadness upon leaving the child, loitering around the schoolyard until the child is out of eyesight.

This shows: you are nervous. You will miss your child. You are afraid to let them go. You acknowledge "your baby is growing up".

Other parents feel: The same way.

Reaction: They look at you, searching for a commiserating yet proud look.

Expectation: Wipe a tear, give a nod, give a weak smile, walk away.
Message communicated: "It's hard letting our babies go"

Actions: Walk away quickly. If anyone tries to talk, say you have to get to work. Smile. Keep walking.


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verticalmum
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27 Jan 2010, 1:07 am

Thank you for the replys,
There are some good suggestions that are going to be usefull.
Setting my own boundries before it happens is such a good idea, and so is the choosing a no contact job to help out in some way.
All of your suggestions have been really great, so thank you for replying.
This has made me feel better already, a lot more at ease.