Genetics and Asperger's Syndrome

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I was diagnosed with Asperger's 20 years ago when I was in Grade 5 and the teacher made the mistake of telling the class I had this and they treated me differently and badly for the rest of elementary and high school. I am afraid to have children because I'm very afraid they'll go through what I went through (isolation, discrimination, and brutal self esteem because of my ignorance of my own family).

What is the probablilty of a child having asperger's if the mother has it? Also, if I have a child with a father who has bipolar (I've been with this man on and off for 10 years), how severe would the handicaps be?

I don't think anyone has succesfully calculated the odds yet. Last I heard, assuming my recollection is correct, some 26 genes are involved.

Your child will have a different life than you did. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. No matter what traits your child has, none of it can be predicted. We all want things better for our kids than we had, but most of the time we only think we know what that is, and we pass along a whole different set of burdens and problems. Right now autism awareness is increasing and AS kids like my son are getting a lot of understanding from the community and very little bullying. Will it always be that way for him? Who knows.

Basically, becoming a parent is a giant crap-shoot. You don't know what you'll get, and you don't know what you'll give. All that can be fairly asked is that you are willing to put everything you have into loving that child and figuring it all out best you can. Then you deal with all your mistakes by rationalizing that at least you're giving them something to gripe about when they grow up

You can't be afraid of what will be. You have to plunge into the river and try to swim.

I don't know what the statistics are either. Maybe you could talk to a doctor about it. I understand your fears, after having one child with AS, I have had concerns about having another one. My age is a factor too since I will soon be 45. All I can say is that I love my son with all of my heart, and I can't imagine my life without him. I don't know what struggles he will face in his lifetime. Even parents that have "normal" children don't know that. The bottom line is that life is uncertain, but we have to take chances to fully live our life. For myself, I have decided to leave it in the hands of God, and take life one day at a time!

Best of luck to you!