Learning to drive

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Hi There,

My son 16 year old son was recently diagnosed with AS and I am wondering if driving a car has posed a problem for anyone out there. He took the mandatory 6 hour lessons to get his permit and the instructor belittled him and basically told him he better practice cause he doesn't want to read about him in the paper....very nice. Anyway, my son seems to be having a real hard time with it and truthfully I am a nervous wreck when with him so practice has been kind of limited. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Sue

go to the parking lot and practise there, than drive in back-roads where the traffic is slow.

it took me a full month of driving after getting my licence to get rid of anxiety attacks when driving. i would think about my 10 min commute (back roads, no highways) whole day dreading the thing but had to do it because there was no other way to do it. even now i hate to go on highways because i do not use them normally. anyway practice and patience.

Does he want to learn to drive? I had a hard time learning to drive when I was his age, partly because my dad was impatient with me but mostly because I simply didn't really have a desire to learn. My husband taught me to drive at eighteen, after we were married.

Regards,

Patricia

The driving depends on him, if he wants to do it, he can do it. I can drive, I picked it up very quickly and thus have no problems with it. It feels very natural to me; like walking or riding a bike. No-one likes to do things under pressure

Driving is a tricky subject for those of us with AS. Some get it right away, some take time but eventually get it, and other never figure it out.

I wanted to drive as soon as it was legal but ended up waiting to go to driving school due to money and got my license when I was 17. I also had problems with my driving skill until I was able to get in some practice.

To out right say that people with AS cannot drive however is totally false. In fact, I know 4 people with AS who have CDLs (3 with school bus endorsements ).

What will help will be patience and possibly look into a professional that can teach your son to drive. There may be an organization in your state that has a driving instructor who knows how to deal with people with certain disabilities such as AS too.

I took driver's ed and training as a freshman in h.s., but didn't actually get my license til i was 19 and only because i had a job and i needed to get to it. I still don't care to drive. I avoid any interstates. I am starting to get use to several lane main roads, but would rather take residential and side roads if i can and not in a hurry. For me it is anxiety.

It really depends on the individual, as pointed out above, but some typical AS impairments can be problematic when trying to drive:

1) Difficulty multitasking
2) Reaction time

The key, if your son has such impairments, will be for him to be aware and do his best to compensate. That will take time and practice. He needs a more patient instructor and he needs to allow himself whatever time he needs, rather than put it on a set time schedule. The goal is for him to be comfortable and safe driving, and he should be prepared to develop the skill in his own time and his own way, and you should help him find instruction that will allow it.

Both my husband and I have found we prefer driving stick shifts. While it adds an extra task to the mix, it also keeps your attention more firmly on the act of driving. For me, that is needed - my mind can really wander. For my husband, it just makes it more fun. Of course, I first learned to drive an automatic, and never having been a great driver, I wouldn't have thought of learning to shift if I hadn't bought a neighbor's car that happened to be one. Still, over time, I've noticed it has made me a better driver. Worth considering, anyway.

I took driver's ed as a junior in high school (felt out of place among the freshmen in the class). But during the actual driving course it just came naturally to me. I even passed the DMV driving test with flying colors. Couple days afterwards I hit the interstates. Never had a single accident, not even a parking ticket for that matter, and I drive a Ford SUV. Driving this dinosaur reignited my love for Ford trucks and SUVs, now a current obsession of mine.
The reason it seems to me that it came naturally was I had been on so many car trips long and short with my parents over time that I just memorized how my parents drove.
Now I'm heading for a motorcycle license. I've already taken a safety course but I'm practicing more with my father's harley before heading to the DMV.

I never learned stick shift but I'd love to. I've only learned manual on a motorcycle (finding neutral is damn near impossible). Any tips, besides "you clutch with your foot instead of your hand, and change gears with your hand instead of your foot"?

My niece who I strongly suspect is an aspie (like my son) is 18 and has refused to learn to drive. She has taken (and passed) the required class but will not put in the required hours behind the wheel. She is disinterested, dependent on my sister for every daily thing, and terrified. And since she is not sociable and doesn't require rides anywhere, my sister has not pushed the issue . . . . if/when she's ready she'll learn. Or she'll be dependent on others for the rest of her life. Of course, not everyone has to drive if they live in an area where biking, walking or mass transportation is an option.

I absolutely love driving and was determined for as long as I can remember to drive better then my family does, each of them scare me each time I ride with them.

I spent my last 3 months at an empty college parking lot and nearby country roads to practice driving and to tell you the truth, I hated doing it. My dad was very much like a spaz during the whole thing. I feel I can drive better without people around to badger me.

I find driving to be my highlight of the day because it's something I can and not screw up too badly. I've actually been trying to make the car skid just so that I can correct it so that when it does snow in my area I can know what to do.

I completly agree with DWMom and add another possible issue:
Sensory issue, explecially visual (the other cars lights at night for istance) and auditory (traffic!!).

But after all an AS guy can drive just fine like anyone else given the right pratice.

Thank you all for your input. I think we will just take it slow, no pressure, do the parking lot thing and back roads and not put pressure on the fact that most get their license at 17. We live in a suburban community where driving is essential esp when he gets a job. He has already told me he wants to work where contact with people is minimal. It just stresses him out too much. We will get there and take whatever time needed so he is comfortable and more importantly a safe driver. So happy to have found this site.

I am glad you posted this question about driving, because our son is 15 1/2 and I've been wondering about this subject as well. Our daughter, (who is typical) is 20 and isn't the least bit interested in learning to drive yet, but he is interested.
The part I'm most concerned about is him getting distracted , which truthfully can happen to anyone really. Misunderstanding a traffic situation might also be somewhere that this could be tricky for him.

I'm twenty-six. I've achieved my permit twice in ten years, but I still never had a license.

I think it's something that will happen when it happens. The worst thing was when I was guilted about it - it made the phobia worse and I'd panic just sitting in the driver's seat.

I chose, as a result to live in areas with mass transit and many places in walking distance, but I think I'm finally gaining enough confidence between therapy, my would-be instructor, and my medications to try again.

I get overloaded when I drive, and the incident that made me give up the first itme was when I mentally 'checked out' while driving because too much was happening at once. I actually am a good driver otherwise -- but in those few seconds I almost crashed into a gas pump. Didn't try again for years.

It may be an inconvenience to others, but if an Aspie is afraid of driving there might be a good reason to give them their space.

For me it just never happened. I tried but there was just too much going on at once. It is one thing I really regret not being able to do...driving would have made my life much easier and made me feel a lot more independent.

When my son turned 16, he said he was interested in learning to drive but never did anything to make it happen so we waited until he was ready. When he turned 18, he decided it was time. When he first started taking lessons, I did speak with the woman who was responsible for scheduling his driving lessons. With his permission, I explained that he has AS and as a result, was a little anxious. I explained that he would do better with someone who was very patient and calm. She said she had a few instructors that would probably be good with him and she made it a point to set him up with them for his lessons. We got good reports from his driving instructors and he got lots of positive feedback. He does drive well. He got his license this past October, Although he says he feels comfortable behind the wheel, he hasn't driven on his own yet - partly because we'd prefer he get more experience before he does and partly because he hasn't really pushed the issue, either. I figure, as soon as he feels ready, he'll ask to borrow the car.