Circle time problem

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My son recently started a habit of lying down to the floor during circle time. His special education teacher though he likes to lye down because he has low back muscle tone. So his special education teacher gave him a chair to sit. It solves the problem.

I think it's a discipline problem rather than a muscle problem. This only happens with the public preschool he goes to three days a week. In the other preschool he goes to two days a week, I never heard any complain. He has circle times everyday ever since he started daycare at two and never has this problem before. He is four now.

My son really likes to test boundaries and get attention. If I ban him from climbing onto the back of the sofa, he will stand on the sofa, put one leg up, look at me and smile, as if saying "look! I'm climbing the sofa. What will you do?" I secretly feel he is quite cute when doing this, but one the other hand, I can't play this game with him.I found the best way to response is say "No" firmly once or twice and ignore him if it is not a life-threaten behavior. If it is really dangerous, I will give him time-out. If I try to constantly correct him, the more I try, the happier he will be, and he will keep doing it forever. That's exactly what happens in his circle time with the special ed school. He gets bored in circle time, lies down and the assistant will rush to him, talk to him, pull him, and try everything to get him sit up. It's so much fun for him!

I don't know if the school can apply my method. For them, probably the chair is better than ignoring his behavior. Should I talk with the teacher about my thoughts?

Yes, I think you should talk to the teacher about this. This is the kind of thing my son would do, and as you say, it is a way of getting attention and of playing up when bored. Giving him a chair to sit on may solve this particular problem in the short term, but I doubt if he'll be content with that for long, especially now that he knows he can "work" this teacher.

Boy, you sound like a really good, with-it mother. It is especially hard to decipher what is causing this behavior in circle time with your son -- is it really low-muscle tone (this sort of thing comes up with educators a lot, I have found over the years), or is your child just smart as a whip and has figured all of the adults out, and knows how to get his way?

If it's just your child being really bright and figuring out how to get a reaction, then you really need to figure out how to teach him that there are just some things he HAS to do. This is always a struggle trying to figure out a process for teaching him this, while not making life difficult for the school. That chair may be an easy way out for THEM, but not teaching your son much of anything. You should definitely talk with them and hash out a way to help your son that doesn't make life harder on the teachers -- but still actually teaches your son something!

Just as an overall aside, I much prefer a school that defaults to assuming it is disability issue instead of a behavior one. It's pretty easy to convince them when you think your child CAN do something, but is choosing not to (we've definitely done that). On the other hand, when they are convinced it is a behavior issue, but it isn't, getting them to see it differently is like trying to move a mountain.

Basically, of all the school issues I could have, I would take yours

He is very smart and full of tricks to get his way. One failed trick that impressed me most is: he likes to run wild on big parking lots, so I always grasp his hand really tight when we walk in a parking lot. When we were walking, he would untie his shoes and beg me to tie them for him. Obviously he had figured out that it only need one hand to untie shoes but two hands to tie them, and I don't have a third hand to hold him. Unfortunately to him, I was smarter than him. I tie his shoes after I put him into the cart. He stopped doing this after several try. The bright side is he seldom uses tears as a weapon, so as long as I can out smart him, he recognizes my authority.

In school he was a sweet boy in the first several months, now he is used to the school, he started showing his true personality. His teacher said he has been acting silly for fun. He enjoys dramatic reactions from adults. Some silliness gives me a good laugh, like saying mom is a boy dad is a girl. Some silliness is problematic, like lying down in circle time. I think he doesn't know the boundary.

I plan to talk to his teacher about his behavior in home next week, just to warn her that she need to set a boundary on silliness. I won't try to get him out of the chair for now, but if he keeps inventing tricks, it's definitely not a muscle tone problem.