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I've been parked on this site for a while now, but finally decided to join up and enter the fray. I'm the mother of two girls and the step mother of another. My youngest daughter is eight, and she's due to have her tests sometime in November. We live in Canada, but I'm originally from the states.

Anyway, I don't really have any questions or anything just yet, just wanted to touch base and say hi first off. A bit more about my kidling:

She's always been pretty intereresting and different from her elder sister, who is more social and people-oriented. For a long time I just thought she was interested only in being around the immediate family as she pretty much shied away from others, especially adults. Hard time potty training, and was deathly afraid of self flush toilets (who can blame her!), and it took her quite a while and I had to back off of training several times because I didn't want to upset her about it.

Anyway school years- she was never interested in going, and was very upset to be left there. She wouldn't talk to the adults for a very long time, too. Early on, she'd have perhaps one friend, but as she's gotten older, it's more like none. She doesn't seem distressed about it, and prefers to be with her sister, which is usually ok, although her sister wants to differentiate from her more and have her own separate social life.

Some examples of stuff:

Selective mutism in certain situations, namely strangers. She'd speak in a very soft voice even though she's plenty loud at home

she tends to cycle through various "tics", both physical and verbal. They're deliberate (only word I can think for it) rather than uncontrolled, and they change every few months or so. Last year it was facial movements, currently she intersperces her conversation with "um ah" It's almost like a spacer so her mouth can catch up with what her brain wants to say

ritualistic bedtimes, and will get distressed if specific items are not in bed with her, or things aren't done in a certain order. Even down to what she says before I turn off the light "I love you allll day!" hehe

low eye contact for sure, and more so if she's even slightly upset

At age eight she's asking a lot of "why" questions, which is basically what her sister did when she was 3-4. Of course, her questions are more sophisticated than a four year old's, but I find that interesting she's doing so now.

Has had recent meltdowns at school this year, usually when stuff was out of the regular schedule, or when asked to do group work or activities.

When she's upset, she often wants all sound to be gone. No talking, no radio, nothing. She doesn't understand she can go to her room to get that, but instead expects the other four family members to comply Doesn't work though!

There's more but I'm pooped for the day. We went to a screening appointment with regular pediatrician and she said she did show some signs of the spectrum, but also some signs of social anxiety, which she said can sometimes go along with it.

Anyway, basically what I'd like for my daughter is to find a way to get through school tolerably if she can't like it (which it seems she can't). I'm not interested in medication or behavior mod. What I'd like to see, though, is the school taking into account how she's wired in terms of social situations and group work, since this seems to be an issue that's coming up more frequently

And.. that's probably the most tangent-filled post I've written on a forum in a while Nice meeting you all!

Leila

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

thanks beebee!

Welcome to WP! It certainly sounds possible that your daughter is on the spectrum, good luck with the testing.

Thanks! The wait is a pain though, since the school system can't legally do anything until there's something official. I hope that her being a girl isn't going to be an issue with whomever is doing the testing-- I keep reading things that note that girls are sometimes atypical?

Yes, girls present differently, but once in the testing process hopefully it won't be an issue. Be aware that you are likely to go through a variety of emotions as you engage in all this; just keep your focus on the goal, which is finding keys to help your child succeed in school and life. Come here and vent when you need to (if you've been reading, you've probably seen some of that already).

I wish you luck on the journey with your daughter, and welcome you to Wrong Planet!

Thanks DW! (reminds me of darkwing duck for some reason)

I don't know about the emotional gamut yet; maybe that comes as she gets older, hehe. I think I probably wouldn't have bothered with having tests for her if she hadn't been having meltdowns at school this year, though I've thought about it on and off for a while now. There's this urge to both seek as well as resist any sort of label-- on the one hand I don't want her to be relegated into a box by her teachers and not be given the opportunity to explore/do something else. On the other hand, though, having a diagnosis will also help explain things to her teachers in terms of how they approach her, etc.

And yep, spot on on goals. I'm hoping more than anything else to get her into a situation where she'll tolerate school better at the very least leading (hopefully) to some happiness and self-sufficiency in her adult years.

Welcome to WP! We live in Canada as well, although my son is younger than your girl so we haven't had any useful experience to pass on yet!