Sound Sensitivity - Singing

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My son has always had some sound sensitivity. We have tried every kind of hear plug and the ear muffs thinking the volume was the problem. Now that we are getting better feedback from him and his teacher this year, we are seeing that the problem isn't the volume. It is the type of sound. We have taken him to college basketballl games and other arenas and the loud sounds don't bother him. He also is fine with hearing the radio or music in general. However, he hates to hear group of people talk together or sing together. He says the "SSSSSS" is bothering him during hymns. At karate, I thought the loudness bothered him, but it is everyone yelling out certain counts that bother him. So he is bugged at church when the congregation sings hymns, he is bugged at school when the class sings or says something together. Then he ends up being rude about it. Mimicking in a rude manner because he is annoyed. He is always over it quick, after the irritation is over, but he is alienating the kids in class because he will mimic them and make them annoyed. I think it may be some type of echo factor, but I am still not 100% sure. Does anyone know of this or understand it?

Also, he will be 9 in Sept. When will he start to have the maturity to do things that is in his best interest? For instance, all he sees is he got into trouble because the kids were making noises that bugged him, so he thinks he was treated unfairly and that the kids are big tattle tells. When we dig further with him, we find that it is his rude reaction and refusing to quit being rude when teh teacher asked that causes him to get into trouble in class. To combat this, the teacher has taken almost all singing out of the class, but they do sometimes read aloud since some kids are obviously still mastering reading. She offers to let him leave the room while they are doing it, but he doesn't like that option at all. We find that to be his reaction most of the time when something is bothering him. He will stubbornly refuse the alternatives and stay in the situation even if it is driving him up the wall. At assemblies, if he is bugged by being mushed in the group, she offers him a place to the side. He is still participating, but we are trying to make him more comfortable. He will refuse it, stay in the situation, and then do something dumb and get into trouble.

My son has sound sensitivity as well, and like your son, it has little to do with volume. Some of the sounds that have freaked him out are the sound of a woodpecker and a mourning dove. As far as loud sounds go, it's his inability to come back down from the startle reflex. His school comes and gets him out of the class when there is a fire drill scheduled. They have been great, they know anticipating a fire drill causes him a great deal of anxiety and they say they just want him to feel comfortable.

Maybe he can hear all the individual voices when this happens; it seems to me like that would be a lot of input to try to handle all at once.

Our OT is currently taking a course on how to help kids with sound sensitivities. I don't know what it is called but I will find out from him and get back to you. He believes that with the right kind of therapy, kids with sound sensitivities can be helped so that they do not experience so much discomfort.

My four year old girl enjoys singing in school, but she absolutely can't stand music at church. The organ music, and the whole congregation singing at the top of their lungs is just too much for her to handle. She ends up bursting into tears inconsolably. Most Sundays, she stays in the nursery with my wife.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

In this situation, it will be an on-going conversation, reminding him that these kids have a right to make the "s" sound and that while you and the teachers respect his sensitivity to it, and are actively working to honor it, he has to give a little, too, by coming up with reasonable requests for mitigation and making those requests politely. Some irritations are always going to be a part of his life, especially things that are irritating to him while not bothering anyone else, and he needs to actively be involved in the choices it takes to mitigate them. He cannot say no to all alternatives; he has to actively move a little. I know it is really hard for them, just keep talking and brainstorming.