How to get a diagnosis?

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I am trying to gather information on how to go about getting an official diagnosis for my youngest child. We have always known that he was different in some way, we have two other boys also with their own quirks, so many of his behaviors we knew were atypical. We never really considered ASD because of other traits that stereotypically didnt fit that, and many of the ASD type behaviors we attributed to just genetics as they are identical to things exhibited by his oldest brother and father. Looking back now, i can see how they should have been more red flags for ASD than i originally viewed them.

He turned 4 in February and has been going to Head Start preschool since last fall. His teachers are wonderful with him, and we've had lots of discussions about the possibilities of what could be affecting him. They agree with us that it is possibly ASD and we have started trying to get evaluations going through our local school district. Head Start here is run by a different school district but happens to be in the building right next door to our home district's pre-k through first grade school. So things are complicated by being cross districts in regards to paperwork and such, but thankfully the proximity of the buildings will make it pretty much as if he was in his home school district for getting actual services.

We have an IEP team planning meeting scheduled in 2 weeks, the goal is to discuss concerns about possible developmental issues. I know they have invited many different people including his primary teacher, home district psychologist, home district speech therapist, and principal of the school that would be fulfilling the IEP.

I guess my questions would be....
Does going through the IEP process in public schools usually result in an official diagnosis?
Is there anything i can do/prepare for the IEP meeting to facilitate getting the diagnosis and plan in place?
Do i need to seek another avenue for diagnosis, such as getting a referral to a mental health center from his primary physician (he is fully covered by insurance)?
Is there something else i am not seeing that i need to do to get the diagnosis completed?
How have other parents gotten their child a diagnosis?

I just dont know what needs to be done to get the diagnosis so we can start getting him help. That and we started this process a couple months ago, and the "not knowing" after finally making the decision to find out is driving me insane. Considering i am ocpd, and already a little freaky, thats pushing me pretty far into the crazy =P

The school IEP process MIGHT give you a TENTATIVE diagnosis that will suffice for school use, but I am not aware of any school districts that have the medical staff needed to give an official diagnosis. Whether or not what the IEP team can do will meet your needs varies quite a bit by school.

Different people have different ways of preparing for the meeting, but I found that knowing what I wanted from the process was the most helpful. If they didn't offer what I wanted, I inquired on how to get there. Ultimately, with us, the desire for a specific service drove the entire process, and the benefit was that many additional service needs were discovered and those services added.

In our area, official diagnosis is made by a nuero specialist. If you want or need a medical diagnosis, I would start with your pediatrician on where to go in your area.

The process of getting a diagnosis completed, whether it be done through the school IEP team or by a medical professional, will involve remembering all sorts of details about your child's life to date. Pulling together any sources you have to jog your memory will be helpful.

Our son has a school diagnosis but not a medical one. As I noted earlier, the process was driven by a service we wanted, so going through the school made sense for us. They were willing to do their own evaluation, and that evaluation has sufficed to get us the needed services. They did ask us to pursue a medical diagnosis, but have never required it, and after reading from some teens and adults who were upset that the label was in their medical files, I choose to just let it drop. In that, I think our situation is a bit unique, and I feel like we've lucked out in being able to play a bit of a "have it both ways" game. Still, the process our school team went through was quite thorough and I have no doubts at all at this point that they reached the right conclusion.

I do think, whatever road you take, that you will find the process intense, stressful and, at times, depressing. All those feelings are perfectly normal. It is a process that is challenging to your view of yourself, your child, and your dreams for your family. But it also hands you keys, and those keys are invaluable. I wish you the best of luck as you start down the road.

I had avoided registering, but had to when I read this due to my very personal experience with this process.

An IEP is just for the school system. Later in life, it can be used as a guide for other services; my vocational counselor needed a copy when I applied to get job training and potential placement. It's purpose is to outline and plan your child's special needs, and what appears in the IEP is determined by your school, counselors and any specialists your child meets (which can include doctors, as was my case).
If your child has Sensory Integration Disorder, only an occupational therapist can determine that, however a neural specialist might as well, but in my time only an OT could. My public school system happened to be one of the best in the state as far as these kinds of needs, so I had an occupational therapist within the school system, and I was diagnosed at an early age. This condition is common with autistic people, which is why I mentioned it.
I did not get the kind of diagnosis for Asperger's you are asking within the school system. What you are asking should be done by a medical professional (not an occupational therapist), however if your child has an OT, that person should definitely communicate with the doctor in order to asses any sensory issues. Further, your school might be able to give you a referral to such a doctor if you do not already have one.
Your school could even suggest a course of action that does not include any neurological diagnosis. They will determine what your child needs based on things like intelligence, behavior with other children, and maturity. For example, I was "emotionally disturbed" with sensory issues, and I was often placed in a smaller classroom than most students.

Getting a diagnosis can be aggravating and a long wait. Be patient. If you truely want a medical diagnosis, which I did, we got a referral from our peditrician to a neurologist because they usually have shorter waiting times. We were also referred to a developmental peditrician. Our neurologist diagnosed but did not help us with anything else. We go and see the developmental pediatrician tomorrow. It was a 6 month wait to get in to see them!! So please be prepared to wait. As far as an IEP, my son was unofficially diagnosed by the school system as having autism...but of course they cannot officially diagnose them but it did help with the IEP (sort of).

thank you for your replies, they've been helpful. its been 2 1/2 weeks since i posted, and this is what has transpired in that time:

we requested an appt with the ped in our regular doctors clinic to find out how to get a referral to get Kaiden tested. last time we made an appt with him, for K's hernia, it took 6 weeks. this time they fast tracked it and we got in on the 7th. the ped was spectacularly unhelpful =P he examined K, and said, "What is it you want from me?" uhhhhh..... so we explained our concerns and that we dont know where to go, so he gave us the names of 3 psych clinics in the area and told us we basically do a parent referral and contact them ourselves.

we had the IEP mtg on the 13th, we got to talk to the speech therapist, psychologist, and the social worker. K's already been evaluated for speech, but the other two talked with us for a long time and made arrangements to go into his class for observations. we have another mtg scheduled for may 11 at which i assume we will hear what they think and what services they feel are appropriate. the psychologist was a bit combative at first, wanting to know why we requested expedited services, what the rush was, etc. i explained we simply were following the directions we were given for the paperwork we turned in on march 24th. plus, we had originally requested an evaluation last november, and it seemed to fall through the cracks and the school did nothing until we pressed the issue in march. apparently, it only left them with 3 weeks to complete all their evals and observations, when they usually have 30-40 days. after we explained about the delay in getting things moving, and that we did what the school mental health coordinator told us to do, things went smoother and the school reps were more cooperative.

i contacted all 3 psych clinics the ped told us about. after speaking to all 3, we made an appt at one of them. this wed, the 21st, we go in for a few hours of testing and evals with one of their psychologists. so hopefully, in 3 days, we will have completed all the testing needed and just be awaiting the report, or diagnosis, or whatever.

if i had known last november how the school would fail us and all i had to do was contact a psych clinic, we would have done all this last year and have answers already. but at least now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. the school testing is underway finally, and we have a solid direction for getting a diagnosis through the medical community.

i understand why some would not want that label in their medical files. i am not one for labels myself, but this has been something we've pretty much known would happen for a long time. we knew he was different the first 6 months of his life, we just didnt know where it would all lead. and once we finally decided to do the testing and started down the road, all the extra waiting has been unbearable. the word "autistic" first entered our lives when he was 2, but we rejected it and it didnt really become a solid idea until he started school last fall. we have been through the stressful, intense, and depressing times already in the first 4 years of his life. in a way, the diagnosis will be a relief.

thank you again for your replies. ive been reading a lot, hopefully absorbing a lot of info, and i am sure i will have more questions once we know exactly what we are looking at.

Hang in there, and just be prepared. I thought that even though I knew in my heart that something was going on with my son, and even knew that it was probably autism., that I was prepared. When i got the diagnosis, I still went through a grieving process. Please allow yourself this if he does indeed get a diagnosis.

Take care!