Somone take my child, please

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I've got a 12yo Aspie and for the most part he is pretty good. Our biggest struggle is attitude and today has been a nasty day.

BG: My son is homeschooled and I recently moved back in with my parents for "help"

He woke up in a foul mood and he has been bossy and critical of everything and when he flat out refused to do his math (or any schoolwork) and then went on a monologue about how school is stupid and the person who invented it should die. So I told him to go move bricks (he has to move 5 cinder blocks from one end of the house to the other and this is normally and excellent way to chill him out.) and he flat out refused so I grounded him to his room for the rest of the day. First time I've ever had to do it. Unfortunately he has continued to be naughty so he has been slowly moving things from his room and he has become violent when I've taken things out. It's like he wants to get in a fist fight.

Any suggestions on how to diffuse this? His dad is active duty and my dad is on a business trip and my mom isn't much help when it comes to the nitty gritty aspect of Asperger's.

I wish that I can help you, but I can't. I've never had a temper that bad, so I don't know what's going on, in his head. Has he entered puberty, lately? I've read that this is how many aspies and HFAs could briefly be for a short time, when they first enter puberty, with all those hormones pumping through their bodies. That explains how a sweet, gentle soul like me, got into fights at my elementary school, between the ages, 10 and 12. It was probably different for me, because I'm a female, but at the same time, I think that my body was producing both Estrogen and Testosterone, at the same time, where as the body of an NT female would only produce Estrogen. I can only guess that your son has more of that male hormone in his body, right now, than his same sex peers, who are starting puberty.

Bricks are so 16th century.

Enlist him into a boxing class.

Give him a big long firm hug and tell him you love him.

Something is bothering him and he doesn't know how to tell you what it is. He needs you to ask, and listen. Whatever it turns out to be, do not tell him its a stupid thing to be upset about. Its a big deal to him.

My gut instinct when I read your post was, "these two need a break from each other." Or, maybe,"these two need a break from the routine." Both are feelings I know well

He had needs that aren't being met or feelings he does not know how to identify and specify. You have too much on your plate and just want to get the things that need to get done, done (or, at least, that is what my life looks like when these situations crop up). The two paths do not cross smoothly.

So, reset. Try a different schedule or plan a unique day. Take a break from trying to get the schoolwork done. Or just give a big hug like some others suggested. What my experience has been is that trying to reign the child in, and allowing the consequences to escalate, does not work. Continue to offer whatever the usual consequences are for specific infractions or he will get confused, but understand that this is not where the solution lies. It lies in stepping back, breathing deep, and figuring out what really is going on. Go out to lunch together, or for a long walk. Decide it's time to get a bike ride. Something that will change your feelings and stress levels and maybe create opportunities to really talk.

When I worked in health care we actually had "Mental Health Days".

I don't have any answers for you, but am struggling here too. Kids do have bad days and puberty is awful. Throw in social skills issues and it's not a pretty picture. I can understand wanting to blow some steam.

My 13yo Aspie has serious and severe mood disorder issues on top of the ADHD and AS. Treasure those moments when he's his normal sweet self and hold them in your heart during the hard times. Be glad it isn't anything worse than puberty.

ah oh...My son is only 9...I've forgotten about puberty...egads!

The good news is this is typical for a teen age kid! The bad news is this is typical for a teen age kid! Both my AS son and NT son have picked some good fights with dear old dad. Try to remember that you're the parent, but be realistic with your expectations. Backtalking and lip is part of being a teen. Is your child learning? Does he/she mostly do what you ask of them? Are they well behaved in public? Do they stay away from trouble and drugs? If you can answer yes to these questions, you don't have much to worry about.