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Hello Everyone!

My name is Jennifer and I am a mother of a 4.7 yr old son, Kaleb who has been diagnosed with moderate autism. As a parent, I am concern with his future since there is so much uncertainty. I have so many questions and so little answers, and I would like answers from a person who has been diagnosed with the ASD spectrum also. Any information is greatly appreciated! Here is a description of my son.

*Limited verbal (rarely speaks in sentences) displays echolalia also
*Likes to repeat certain phrases like "this one?" Kaleb uses this phrase when he wants us to identify an object, even when he already knows what it is.
*has trouble with repeating back words correctly, syllables are missed and pronounciation is off.
*does not look at me when i call his name, it takes several attempts
*very social, makes a lot of eye contact. not afraid of new people
*very affectionate with me, he always asks for a hug
*does not like changes in routine
*very picky eater
*sensitive to clothing, he doesn't like tags or new clothing/shoes
*strong willed, persistent, fearless, has a high awareness of right and wrong
*highly emphathetic:
-when he sees another classmate gets disciplined, he puts his head down.
-When he saw his grandmother cry, he cried also (2.5 yrs old)
-When he sees a bad character on tv he yells at it or when he sees someone gets hurt, he will sometimes cry
- very aggressive to me and others, he also throws temper tantrums
-highly energetic and strong, athletic
-can be obsessive over certain things, when he was younger it was trains, now it is animals and books
-does not like to be helped, he likes to do things on his own most of the time. for an example, when his bike was stuck i came to help him get the bike out, he got angry, reversed what i did, and completed the task himself.
-potty trained but still poos in his pants occasionally. He regressed in this because he used to poo in the toilet just fine, im not sure why.
-disobedient, can be very rebellious. yet when he obtains an forbidden object/food, he will show it to me first, like telling me "i got it, just wanted you to know, okay now im going to eat it"
-he had a strong phase of always re-decorating the house. he would get very angry if i moved it back to the way it was. (he is pretty good at decorating also)
-does not like to share
-poor motor skills (prefers to eat with his hands, cannot hold a pencil correctly or trace very well)
-loves music. he likes to be the dj in the car, insisting certain songs be changed when he doesn't like them. he sings a lot also
-use to do a lot of stimming, gradually decreases in age. He used to flicker his fingers by his eyes a lot and run in circles.
-very visual, he notices a lot of details
-used to always line up objects perfectly straight, i don't see that anymore though
-perfectly healthy and average in weight and height. not allergic or sensitive to anything (food, insects, dust)
-very handsome and good looking. he always receives compliments from strangers since he was a baby.
-likes to create structures and loves legos. most of the time, his structures are symmetrical. i never taught him that symmetry is beautiful.
-family history has no autism, as far as im concerned. i am the first generation born here in america, my family is from vietnam and his father is also the first born generation here and his family is from the philippines. our familes occupations include: software engineer, accountant, biologist, & nurse. his father and i are both college educated and his father has a masters in business. i have a degree in english and communications.

there is so much more about my son, i think this is a good enough description so far. My son is delayed in a lot of areas, but he is also advanced in many others as well. He is getting better everyday since he started his special education 4 months ago, but i am still concern about his language skills and his regression in potty training.

im also curious to know what type of autism he has. if anyone can give me information about him and his actions/personality, or ANYTHING even if it is just your opinion, i would greatly appreciate it. thanks everyone!

He's too young to know anything for sure yet. I have two LFA brothers, one of which sounds similar to your son when he was much younger (he's in his late 20s now). I would keep him in Special Ed and also find a ASD treatment/progress program that works for him, there are many of them, you need to find one that encourages the strengths he already has (like if he is semi-verbal, keep going with that). If you do not see progression in one program, find another. There are many that you can do yourself with your son, but make sure you do extensive background checks as some of them can have harmful consequences if used on the wrong child.

But yeah, your boy is at that critical period where (espeically with heavy intervention) he could still 'snap out of it' and become much more higher functioning. You will know in a couple of years exactly what his level of functioning is.

Until then, promote strengths and be patient, VERY patient with weaknesses. Also REWARDS, reward for anything and everything that you consider good behaviour or progressive behaviour.

Sounds like he's fairly normal in our world. Not quite sure what the problem is here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

He sounds like me, but with probably some more problems with words. It is hard to tell without hearing how he speaks.

Are you worried about anything in particular, or hoping for any specific advice? Other then telling you he sounds like most autistic people based on your description I am not sure what you are asking.

Hi and welcome to WP.

I would start with books. Read anything you can get your hands on and educate yourself about the Autism spectrum. There is a book recommendation thread stickied to the top of this forum. A good introductory book that is a simple read might be "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm, and anything by Temple Grandin is very worthwhile.

Then maybe you want to find out what services are available for ASD kids in your area. It sounds like he could benefit from speech therapy if he isn't already in it.

The things that have helped us most at home have been a consistent routine, and clear, simple rules and expectations (also adjusting these often to meet where our kids are actually at, not where we think they should be). We use visual schedules and checklists which are posted throughout the house. We act like detectives and investigate the causes of "bad" behaviors, and then work on eliminating or minimizing the triggers. We do lots and lots of straightforward, repetitive teaching about social norms and expectations (I remember spending ages when they were 4 teaching them to respond when someone said hello or goodbye to them).

You sound like a very attentive parent,with some patient teaching I am sure your son will do great.

Your son sounds very much like my son, except my son is not athletic and he is very cautious. Other than that, your son fits mine to a t. He was diagnosed as PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder non otherwise specified)/Possible Asperger's. My son fits some of the Asperger's characteristics: obsessive interests, clumsiness, but he is pretty flexible and is ok with change. He does not have a lot of sensory issues. I think the bottom line is that it is all autism., and we just have to work with helping them improve in the areas that give them the most distress.

What areas are you struggling with the most? It sounds like he is in school, so hopefully, some of the issues will be addressed there. Feel free to post any specific questions that you have!

I am also not certain on what it is that you are asking or wanting. I gather from what you wrote that the main concerns are with speaking and regressing where potty training is concerned?

While I am on the spectrum, my children are not. My response to the potty regression might not be applicable, but I still thought I would mention it as I do think it could apply... my older daughter (now 14... you are making me go way back here... heh heh heh), after starting school, started having accidents. She was a hyper sensitive young one and would do things like cry when she saw upsetting imagery on the television... school was overwhelming to her (as many things were) and I believe the stress of being placed into the world of 'big kids' was enough to force her to take steps backwards in other areas... potty training included. She had been using the toilet with no problems since the age of two or so, but it all went to hell for awhile once she went to preschool at age four. I would not worry much about that if the timing is related to school or the onset of some kind of newly introduced activity. Some kids take a step back when they take big steps forward. I think it helps pace them better or something. I do not know, but it is not uncommon and I would not fret it... even though it can be problematic. Her problems slowly lessened and cleared up about six months into the school year, once she had adjusted. She had problems again though after her spring break when she had to readjust to going back to school. That time it did not last as long though.

I do not have any thoughts on the language skills. I spoke in complete sentences young and just did not speak much. My younger daughter did have speech delays and issues with sentences, but her problems were related to her hearing and chronic ear infections. So... yeah... I do not know about that one, sorry.

Beyond that, I can relate to much of what you describe as I am sure many others here can. "used to always line up objects perfectly straight.." that one in particular made me smile this afternoon as I have fond memories of doing that as a child. Heh. That was so much fun. I could spend hours doing that. My mother would get annoyed with if I did that when I was supposed to be putting my room in order... ah good old fashioned misinterpretation...