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PenguinMom
Deinonychus
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12 Jun 2010, 9:05 am

For whatever reason I developed allergies to like everything (dust, mold, trees, grass, weeds, cats, mice)
For whatever reason I didn't see a doctor until I was literally on the floor unable to stand up. So my allergies are worse than if I'd sought help/issolated them earlier.

Here's the problem.
(background) Doc put me on Nasonex. It turned me into (figuratively) a crack-head for a while. Mood swings, anger, horrible horrible headaches, fatigue, suicidal. There was no way I could be a good parent. It took several months for us to figure out is was the Nasonex making me sick.

Current
My allergies are really bad. My skin throat and eyes itch. My sinuses are so swollen I literally can't bend my head forward without seeing spots. I am short tempered with my kids when I feel sick, so this isn't good.
I am taking zyrtec, but that makes me so groggy I can't focus, even long enough to play with my kids.
My husband just sends me to bed a lot of the time, but I feel guilty that I can't be mom. When I try to come out and be mom I end up making myself sick and dizzy and itchy and then I get grumpy and short tempered with hubby and kids.

I feel really guilty. Horribly guilty about what a lousy mom I was when I was on the nasonex (yelling at my kids!! etc.) I can't change the past. I want to be an even better mom, but at this point I am so increadibly sick I just can't. We had a playdate outside yesterday. My throat started closing up and my eyes puffed 'till it hurt to open them..

I don't want to go on any stronger allergy medication because the Nasonex was so horrible. I literally had EVERY possible side effect listed on the website.

I am now facing an entire season of being unable to function.
I need to function. I am taking allergy shots, but I'll have to wait awhile for results from that.

I am babbling at this point. I don't know what to do. I want to be mom, but I can't really even think straight I am so groggy on the zyrtec.



leejosepho
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12 Jun 2010, 9:22 am

I used to know a family where "Mom" had to spend a lot of time alone in bed for different reasons, and "Dad" did an excellent job of putting his wife at ease about that and helping their children understand and accept the facts they only had a part-time mom and nothing could be done about that.

Just do whatever you must to deal with your condition, and focus only on the quality of the limited amounts of time you can actually spend interacting with your family.


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Tracker
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12 Jun 2010, 10:06 am

Well, have you tried installing a higher quality air filter in your house? And also, have you tried setting up an air purifier in your house (possibly several of them)? One of those Ionic breeze things really do trap dirt pretty well (Gotta clean it once per day though). There are probably less expensive filter based air purifiers if you dont want to get the electric based ones.

Perhaps something like this:

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Holmes-Harmon ... er/4857818
Or anything similar.

It may not help you when you need to go outside, but it will probably help you out when you are in the house.



jamesongerbil
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12 Jun 2010, 10:22 am

Allergy shots? Are they still an option?



PenguinMom
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12 Jun 2010, 11:08 am

We have an air purifier. It uses up far too much electricity so we really can't afford to run it that often.
I am taking allergy shots. I can't expect to see results for maybe 6 more months.

This is my problem, today exactly describes it.
1) Yesterday I wanted the girls to have a nice playdate out in the garden. Took them out, got them involved in weeding (they LOVE weeding bless their little hearts.) Then when their friends came played outside with all of them for a couple hours. I came in when my throat felt like it was closing.
2) Tried my hardest to stay with it 'till bedtime. My poor husband ended up giving them a bath and sending them to bed 1 hour early because he knew I needed the sleep and I was determined to do bedtime with them.
3) Took sudafed (this is ontop of the daily zyrtec) so I could put them to bed.
Today I'm so groggy from the zyrtec/sudafed combinatino I can't walk straight. It's my husband's retirement party. BIG DEAL!! ! They are throwing him a pool party. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open at breakfast. And my skin is itching. We got as far as the car, he looked at me and was like "NO way you're gonna make it." Sent me back in to go to sleep.

The kids are acting up. Can't blame them, they are bound to act up because they know mom is sick. Compound this, since I was screaming and raising my voice while on the nasonex they are now immitating that behavior. Screaming parents have screaming kids, I know that, I need to work even harder now to unteach them all the nasty behaviors I did teach them.

My doctor says I should get rid of all their stuffed animals (dust allergy). I can't bring myself to do it. Then when I lie in bed sick they come and rub the stuffed animals on my face to comfort me. I start choking and then I yell at them and I really don't want to yell at them.

Flash back - I missed my daughter's 4th birthday. I cleaned the house for the party, had an asthma attack and spent the day in the hospital. That's the general cycle of my life. more recent flash back - I missed my own birthday. I took the prescription stuff the night before because accuweather forcasted bad allergy for the day. The prescription stuff made me feel like I was having a heart attack. Spent the whole day dizzy and in bed. My daughters are still upset that we didn't go on the trip to the museum that was their b-day gift to me.

Sorry I'm rambling. I'm zonked out on medication. I feel bad I yelled at my little girl when she tried to make me feel better with a blankie and a cuddly toy and I'm miserable that I can't go to the retirement party. Feel like a terrible mom and spouse.

How can I give my kids the love and attention they deserve?
How do I explain that when Mom feels sick she really does love you and want to be with you, but she really physically can't?
Any ideas as to how to get them to stop rubbing their soft toys on me when I'm sick? I know it's well meaning but my body can't handle it.



liloleme
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12 Jun 2010, 1:05 pm

I dont know that this is the case but I have a friend who also has asthma and was having horrible attacks (complete with hives and swollen eyes) all the sudden to the point where she could hardly breathe. They found out that her anxiety and stress was causing her diaphrgam to go into spasms. This was also exasperating her allergies. They put her on Xanax, steroids and some inhalers and she is doing much better now.
Maybe you could talk to your doctor about your stress level as it could be making your allergies much worse.
Also I know how it feels not to be able to be with your kids and husband and to feel like a bad mom and wife. I have had serious back problems for over a year now. I had surgery in September and they recently found that more of my back is deteriorating and I have fusion of my sacroilliac joints. Ive spent a lot of time in bed. I got some cortisone injections in my SI joint last week and I am feeling much better....hope they last awhile and I hope you get to feeling better too.



angelbear
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12 Jun 2010, 2:34 pm

You are doing the best you can to get better. Your asthma and allergies are out of your control. Try not to be too guilty about it. I know it is hard. I feel like since my son started school at 3 yrs. old, for 2 yrs. either he or I have been sick. Last year I got Fifth's Disease (a childhood disease), Swine Flu, and a horrible ear infection (which I have never had in my life!) I felt like my son was always watching tv and videos because I was just sooo sick. If I wasn't sick, then he was sick, so I was not getting good sleep being up taking care of him. I only have one to care for, but it is just really hard to take care of others when you are sick. Try to let your husband help when he can, and just keep trying to gently explain to your children that Mommy is sick. I try to tell my son "remember how bad you felt when you were sick, well that is how Mommy feels now." Please let Mommy get her rest.

Do you have any other family in the area that could help?

Wish I had more advice, but all I can do is offer sympathy. I know I feel guilty when I am not doing stuff with my child, but it is just out of our control sometimes. Hopefully, they can learn something from it too.

Hope you feel better soon-----



Kiley
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13 Jun 2010, 10:51 am

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're doing the best you can. The only other suggestions I can make are to change the air filters in your house frequently and buy good ones. Get a good vacuume with a hepa filter and so on. We have some serious issues with allergies in our family too, it's not fun.