my 6 yo

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My son has as but I've been getting concerned, he has become obsessed with death and dying, I was curious if this is normal! He also says he has a voice in his head and I try hard to get him to talk to me but when ever I ask him any questions he gets pissed at me, like for example I ask him about school and what he did and he says nothing or had a good day but if I ask specific questions he gets nasty with me. So needless to say I'm at a loss. I started taking him to a shrink but but they think he might have some type of psychosis on top of his as and I don't believe that. Any suggestions would be great please...

If you can get him to talk about it, find out more about the voice in his head. I said something similar at his age because when I thought of someone saying something, I could hear it in my imagination or memory. So it wasn't "voices in my head" but it was very much "voices in my head" if that makes sense.

I had all kinds of "delusions" like that which were really just me not understanding the full connotations of what I said. Another example was that I said that when I sang, there was music playing. That's because my mind was separating out that I was making lyrics with my voice and that my voice was making a melody and I'd hear it as words *and* a melody in an "instrument" that was actually my voice but I didn't hear it that way.

I was obsessed with death at his age but I can't say whether that's normal or not since my brother died when I was your son's age so of course I was obsessed with death (and reincarnation.)

And find out, if you can, if he's getting bullied or ridiculed at school. That could make him get irritable when questioned about details of his school day. The nastiness could be due to something else, but bullying is the first thing that popped into my head.

Definitely a flag for bullying. I would learn of my AS son's being bullied weeks after it happened.

He probably just doesn't want to talk. I get frustrated and angry like that if someone keeps asking me questions when I don't want to talk.

As for voices, he could be taking this literally for just thinking.

Yeah I would look into bullying.

Actually I was told that it is very normal for a 6 year old to get obsessed and or frightened about death. My son did the same and our psychiatrist said its very normal at that age because they become aware of mortality.

I really don't think an obsession, or contrariwise fear, of death is unnatural.

I heard voices too when I was around that age. I don't anymore.

My daughter was very interested in death at age 5-6. She was curious about the whole idea and didn't treat it as a "delicate" subject at all. She would often tell me "It's going to be really bad when you die". She didn't understand the negative connotations that statement might have-I think she was just computing in her mind that death=disappearance and me disappearing would be a "bad" thing to her.

She has heard imaginary voices periodically and talks to them but she understands they are not real. Does your son think the voices are real people talking or imaginary? I think that would be an indicator as to whether you are dealing with a psychosis or not.

Now for the main topic that compelled me to post: the reactions to questions about his day. This is where I have some understanding about my daughter. She would be very agitated after school. So any attempt by me to debrief her on her day was met with anger and frustration or as you said, vaugueness. I learned that if I let her decompress with no questions or decisions or any demands on her she would eventually come around to talking about things. It might not be until the weekend, when the school demands are not present. I think it's very difficult for us to understand the level of stress and "keeping it together" they go through day to day and that is probably why he's in no mood for talking. Show him that you can be trusted to let him cool down and let him be.

I took my daughter to a therapist too but it was wasted time. What your son probably needs is decompression, not more prodding.

My son went through a death thing around 7 years old. He is afraid to die, he does not want to go to heaven and he wants to live on earth forever. He really struggled with this fear for a while, but he's over it now as far as I can tell. I lost a dog a couple of years ago and that may be why.

He also says hehas a life inside of him that controls him. It's like a totally different person, and it makes him do things that he doesn't want to do. He talks to it, and he tries to squeeze and hurt it to get it under control but it doesn't listen. It's not voices, but I have come to realize that it's frustration and anxiety. When he gets emotional he can't control his impulses and this is how he tells me that. He isn't psychotic at all, but this is how he describes what is going on in his head. I also think he thinks in pictures a lot more than words so he see's this "life" as a person inside of him that controls him. Your son probably thinks in words, so his "life" may be talking to him rather than physically moving him. My son also said he has good germs and bad germs and they constantly battle. These germs are in his life, and totally control how his brain is working. There is a lot more to this, but my point is that you shouldn't take everything he says too literally. It may be the only way he can think to describe what he is going through.

I also had the same thing with asking about his day. I do this mostly because he has language problems and it's good practice for him to articulate a past event. We eventually got him to answer a couple of times and with that we made a rule. Every day he tells his father one thing he did that day. He knows it's coming, he has something in mind and it's a routine so it makes things easier. If you can get him to do that, so at least he has time to think about what he is going to say you may have better luck. Once he gets started it may be easier for him. I am also very specific. Open ended questions are still almost impossible for him. I wouldn't push though...he could very well need time to decompress, as Mama_to_Grace said. I think these kids deal with and overcome a whole lot more than we realize.

He says the voice in his head has a name and he's in college. But for example we were at a party where they were doing face painting and he wanted the lady to put the word die on his forehead and he always asks if he does this will he die!
But the talking to me thing he's like that with anything I ask, if I ask him is it sunny outside he gets frustrated with me and the only thing I hate about this is if something bad happens to him I wont ever know! The school says he's super smart but doesn't handle stressful situations very well and his social skills are lacking but the school never gives me specifics and they are supposed to send home a behavior chart everyday and all it ever says is he had a good day!
But I don't think he's being bullied cause he would probably get in trouble cause he gets very aggressive if people are teasing him he doesn't get when people are just joking or teasing. He's such a loving little boy just wish I could get this death thing out of his head and get him to open up a little more..

This is what my son told me. He has a brain and a mind. The brain is like a computer, and his mind gets information from his brain that it needs to use. The brain and the mind work together to put the puzzle together. He see's it, and he drew me a picture of what it looks like. It's of toad from Super Mario Brothers. The puzzle has 100 pieces. When the bad germs take over, and turn the good germs to bad, he cannot put the puzzle together because the bad germs (which are in his "life") lock up his brain and his mind, and they aren't able to put the puzzle together and then he isn't able to get his words out like normal, and that's when he hurts people. However, when he's mad, the puzzle goes together very easily and he is able to get the words out normal. I think when he's mad, he chooses to hurt someone. When it's frustration it's more impulse.

He was really hot and heavy with the death thing for a while. I think he is just trying to reconcile what that exactly is. I'm sure it's hard to understand at that young of an age. Think about it...even teenagers really don't get mortality. If they did they wouldn't be so stupid

My son is very sensitive. He tells me things that are going on, but it has to be really painful, and it often take months for him to tell me. I didn't know that the kids at his daycare were blowing him off until March. This has been going on since September. I think he tried to deal with it himself, and he didn't want to burden me, but got to overwhelmed and needed me. My son is super smart too, and he didn't really start talking to me until maybe a year ago when the life thing started happening. That was 7 1/2. These kids are so advanced, and use so many parts of their brain at the same time it's probably hard for him to really get the words out to explain the complicated things that are going on in his brain.

Be patient...it will come. Always be open and supportive, don't push too much and be real understanding. I don't talk a lot when he talks to me. I let him get it out and ask questions later, and not too many. One at a time. It can take several days just to get through one conversation of this nature. What I said in the first paragraph took him an hour. This happens usually at bed time. That is when we talk. I very rarely get anything with substance before then. By then he is decompressed from his day, relaxed and ready to talk. Now that I think about it, I don't know that we have had a talk like this at any other time.

lastly...I'm with you on the "had a great day" every day. That says nothing, absolutely nothing and it can get annoying after a while. Tell them if he had a good day to say why, so you can reward him when he's home. You need something specific to work with and you are not getting that. Get on them. If you are a pain, they will take the time to appease you.

Try to find out if the voice in his head is his own voice or another personality. I have a voice in my head, but it's mine. I talk to myself in my head and narrate what I'm doing to myself. I'm a very verbal person and this is just part of how I think and is not uncommon. If he's hearing another voice that is attached to another personality that would definitely be something quite serious. It would be very rare to see that in a six year old. Pscyzophrenia usually begins in puberty up to young adulthood, and rarely begins in such a young person.

More generic psychosis is more likely to begin a bit earlier, but usually not as early as six. My eldest son's psychosis began at the age of 9, and that's considered quite early.

6 year olds, especially 6 year olds with developmental delays can have some odd charactaristics that turn out to be quite harmless. It may be that your son is hearing his own inner voice and might even be confused about whether it's his voice or someone else's.

If you're distrustful of the psychiatrist you are seeing definitely get a second opinion.

I went through a death stage, at the ages 6 and 7.