me being over protective, or son being teased?

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Here is the situation. My son is 7.5 and in mainstream school. Recently I have noticed 2 little girls who I think are having a laugh at my sons expense. He is not aware of being teased thank god as he thinks people are laughing with him and not at him. He is obsessed at the moment by army and war and this takes up much of his conversation. The little girls said to him, thanks for the bomb tips and ran off giggling with each other. They have also called him bomber boy and ran off laughing and giggling and also as he doesnt answer or look at you one of them said goodby to him, shouting it at him and laughing. I have let this all go around 5 or six times now but the last time it happened I went to the headmaster, as soon -as I said their names he said oh well im very surprised at that, and he wouldnt even know anyway, which really grated me. However he spoke to the girls and said to me they didnt know what he was talking about, they are both model very good pupils and Im not sure whether its me being over protective or that they are in fact teasing him in a way. One of them is daughter of the parent governer at the school and I cant help feeling that my son is pulled up on everything he does but the good ones are not really watched. What are opions on this please as I dont want to go wading in if im not in the right. Thanks.

It sounds to me like he is being teased. This is how it started with my son. He did not know someone was teasing him and would laugh with them. He is also easily led, so kids would have him do something inappropriate and they all get a laugh out of it. Including my son! Unfortunately, my son got in trouble a couple times for this behavior. That made him shut down because he is such a pleaser at school. This was well before his dx, so i can only imagine that my son must really stand out. My son was suppose to be receiving social skills on how to recognize being teased, bully prevention and how to know if your friend is really your friend. Unfortunately, they aren't doing this this year. I have had to explain these things to him so he can avoid them.

Btw, i wouldn't care who their parents are or that they are model students. Imo, it is wrong and it needs to stop. Children with special needs need us to advocate for them. It can get worse! Other kids may join in. Stop it while it's in the early stages.

Good luck.

When you witness it, you confront the girls. I am very involved at the school, the kids know me, and I have always confronted the kids directly. They listen to me. You need the teachers and the administration to watch for and deal with things that happen when you are not present, and to set an overall tone, but when something happens in front of you, why shouldn't you just deal with it? Go up to the girls and ask them what they meant by their reaction, and then have a matter of fact discussion with them about it. No one is in a better position to educate people about your child's quirks than you are. At this age it is perfectly acceptable for a parent to intervene on their child's behlaf. By 5th grade or so ... maybe not. But even now, the other day, when a group of kids was over to work on a class project and one of the boys joked about something I felt was inappropriate, I just looked at him and said, "no one will do that to my child." He nodded his head, and moved on.

Lol, my mama bear instincts come out a lot.

This happens to my son too sometimes. He joins in laughing and tends to mimick the troublemakers. Thankfully his teachers are very aware and sensitive to his situation (it is an inclusive classroom). The headmaster kind of sounds like a jerk. "Model students" are certainly not immune to behavior issues, they are usually just better at hiding them. I would also confront the girls if I was present. Good luck mama bear!

A mother is only over protective when it becomes a detriment to him. No, you are not being overprotective of him. It really is difficult to be so. Be that Mama Bear that all others are cautious of. It will help your son in two ways:

1) It will deter others from picking on him.

2) Your son will see how much you love him, as demonstrated through your actions, which are far more telling than mere words.

If in doubt, side with over protection rather than under.

Good luck. By the way...your son sounds like mine...extremely sweet and pure in nature.

Hi, I posted this ages ago and forgot all about this post. Thankfully, its not happened since I went to the school. He is very sweet and pure by nature, he talks constantly about war and bombing etc but if he sees something happen to a person or animal (animals in particular) he gets really upset. I see a lot of emotion from him, he will cuddle and kiss me (not many other people) but he is able to show compassion and empathy, its a shame that Its only really close family that see how lovely he really is.

I certainly know how that feels, but the important thing is that YOU know how special he is. I reckon it will bode well for him later on in life that his connection with you shows that he can have meaningful relationships.

The little girls may not intend to be as mean as they might seem. Kids can be really nasty, but sometimes their teasing isn't as meaningful. It could be a bit of gender rivalry, the way little girls laugh at the way little boys like war related things etc. If you were to talk to them gently, and they really are nice girls, they might lay off.

Have you seen this interaction up close? What is your impression? Are they being silly or mean?