my brother's children

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my brother is extremely dedicated to one end, having children. he decided this before we hit puberty and has pursued the goal utterly single mindedly since. as this is ireland and i don't have such goals, and i tend to do things like leave parties early and run away from people who want to talk to me before noon, he is the 'good one'. however we get on well and he has taught his children to view me as 'eccentric auntie x' (which is fine with me).

the problem is other people's children. his kids like to go to places like playgrounds and so i get to go along. the other day, i was playing with his kids with that 'silly-string' stuff. it was all going well and we were covering each other in it. then someone else's kid (no idea whose, random kid in playground), came up and said 'do me'. so i did him. nice little nest of silly string on his chest, no orifices involved.

everyone looked at me horrified. my brother's kids said 'is she allowed to do that' and he said 'no'. the kid just stared at me shocked and backed away.

thing is, i don't understand why. clearly i broke some playground rule (and no, i never understood these when i was a kid either). but i didn't hurt the kid and i did exactly what he asked.

what am i missing?

You brother had likely told his children to never "do" anyone else with that stuff in order to avoid complaint from anyone else or another parent and to keep from "wasting" his money on any children other than his own.

Seems like a minor thing to me. Silly string doesn't leave stains does it? I haven't been around any in several years, but as I recall its about as harmless as a chemical toy can be. I suppose maybe you should have had him make sure it was okay with his Mum before you sprayed him, but I can't imagine it really causing an upset one way or another. Its not like you squirted it in his eyes, or just picked him at random and came running after him to assault him with bits of liquid string. He specifically asked for it and you were just being friendly by including him. If I were his parent, I'd be more upset that he was inviting himself into someone else's activities and talking to strangers.

See that's exactly how it seemed to me Willard. I completely agree.

Problem is that the entire playground went instantly silent, stared at the kid, then stared at me, like some monty python sketch. then my brother smoothed whatever it was over. Something that I did was 'wrong'.

But is it possible you misunderstood what the kid said? If he was asking you to spray him, then why was he surprised that you did it?

yeah i hate when kids come up to you

Some parents have funny rules with their kids so you basically should always tell them, "only if your mom tells me it's OK first." That goes for pretty much anything that has adult participation in some way: passing out food, taking a turn with a toy that requires supervision, borrowing a bike, etc. If kids are doing something like digging in the sand, that is different, and anytime a child asks, "can I join you?" the answer is supposed to be "yes."

It isn't always obvious even to a parent like me that is practiced in checking with the other mom first, so don't be upset by it. When stuff like that happens, just say, "oh, sorry, I forgot to check with your mom first" and move on.

Maybe the kid was teasing, and didn't really want you to.

They overreacted, I would have felt really awkward and have a knot in my stomach...er im sorry that happen.

Occasionally, I may run into a child and some words will be exchanged depending on the nature of the situation, for example, my cat went missing once and I asked a kid if she had seen it, and someone on occasion, usually a relative, will reprimand me "They aren't supposed to talk to strangers."

And my reply is....

"They indeed are not. So why are you telling me?"

I'm a benign person. I'd never hurt a child. But there are those who would and they certainly aren't going to refrain from talking to children.

So I do not understand why I am told that I should not talk to a child if the need for me to do so arises, because it is the child who should not talk to those who they do not know.

It is not said that "You should not talk to children," it is said that "Children should not talk to strangers."

So I get quite annoyed when I talk to a child and someone tells me "They aren't supposed to talk to strangers," as if I have done something wrong.

People should not rely on strangers not to talk to their children.

i'd agree with dw, its a permissions thing. you dont do anything to someone elses child, especially if you dont know the parents or child. we have a boy who lives a couple doors away in our apt complex and he and my 6 yr old son play every single day. he cannot come into my house unless he asks his parents first, and my son also must obtain permission to go into his house.

for the OP, i think the fact that you are an adult that "did it" is what caused the surprise. kids play with stranger kids at the playground all the time, but an adult playing with a child they dont know comes across differently. if the children sprayed him, i doubt anything would have come of it except for possibly their dad admonishing them for spraying other kids.