organizing my teen aspie boys room??
My sons room is always like a hurican ran through it.
All clothing on the floor, clean mixed with dirty, trash all over, video games and wires. I have to walk carefully around things in there all the time and its driving me insane. We can clean it up one day and the next day its the same thing. any tips on organizing him? I am thinking of using labeled baskets for his clothing for a start. He is 14. Pictures labels? Where can I download anything that might help me. He actually leaves a trail of things where ever he goes. He wanders at night from his room, to my room, to the spare room and will sometimes go downstairs and eat in the middle of the night and leaves me that mess too.. He is also getting very heavy because of this.
Frustrated in Ontario
I used to have a messy room at times. But it could also be really tidy and ordered.
Now I am living on myself I found some optimum things: having shelves is really good for ordering, everything can still be seen but most be grouped and stacked in a certain way. Also nice are a lot of big drawers, okay they are a mess, but it is tidy in the room and I still can find my important things.
For dirty clothing a basket is okay. For things that do not have a proper place I have a few (Curver) boxes. These are sorted out once in a while and I put the items on a good place or throw them away.
Working with labels could help for a start. I still label certain boxes or drawers. I do not know if he needs pictures; that depends on the person.
Main problem is the cleaning up. I do that on regular intervals on certain days. Maybe you could try to establish a similar pattern with him.
Tidying the room can be a way of emptying your head, but I am not certain if it works for him.
simple things are the best. make sure he has a laundry basket or hamper, dirty clothes go IN THERE the second they come off. same for a trash can for trash. shelves or bins for his video games. picking up his room should be a daily activity, and if you use a schedule for him, include it in there. our kids have "pickup time" written into their schedule, helps us all remember.
be sure he understands HOW to tidy his room. i sat down with my 6 yr old last week and we talked about efficient ways to clean, different methods he could use (pick all of x up first, then y, then z, etc OR start in this corner and clean outward putting everything away as you go). we have certain bins for certain toys, and started labeling them with pictures mainly to help his autistic little brother who shares the room. for my oldest, ive tried teaching him how to clean, but he insists on doing it his own way which usually takes 4-6 hours when it hasnt been done in a while. hence the daily clean in the schedule.
you can also write up rules for these things and post them in his room. we try to maintain simple rules. one video game out at a time, if you want a different one out, the first must go back into its case and back onto the shelf/drawer/bin etc BEFORE the next game comes out. same for toys, board games, etc.
for clothes, my oldest, who sounds about the same level of organization, uses a wire cube system. you can get them at target or similar stores for under $20, they come with wire grids and connectors and you build them into whatever shape you want. his clothes are all in a set of cubes 2 wide x 4 high. they are wire grids so you can see the clothes easily, and it lets him pick out what he wants to wear and put things away without having to strictly remember what goes where. you can use labels if you want, but we found we didnt need to with these cubes. dresser drawers never worked well for this child, too much rooting around in them and making a mess.
for the nighttime kitchen forays, i dont have much to help with stopping them except that you should try to investigate why they are happening, if you havent already. it could be he needs a bedtime snack, or maybe he is having trouble getting or staying asleep. i know when i cant sleep or wake a lot at night, my body never shuts down and i get hungry in the middle of the night. he could be eating because of hunger or boredom, or as a comfort if he gets scared being up alone at night (my oldest still gets scared being the only one awake).
with the ktichen mess, i have a set of rules the kids are suppose to live by, and i am finally printing and posting them today. we call them our house rules. if you use it, put it away. if you spill it, clean it up. if you drop it, pick it up. very simple, the hard part is getting them to remember to do it. i think i will institute a new rule: check the room before you leave it. that way they might learn to stop and check to see they cleaned up behind themselves.
with all the boys in my house, the entire thing always looks like a hurricane went through it =) its not getting any easier as they get older, suprisingly. im sure one day i will come home to find FEMA personnel in hazmat suits all over my house.
_________________
Neurotypically confused.
partner to: D - 40 yrs med dx classic autism
mother to 3 sons:
K - 6 yrs med/school dx classic autism
C - 8 yrs NT
N - 15 yrs school dx AS
Tory_canuck
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,373
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
All clothing on the floor, clean mixed with dirty, trash all over, video games and wires. I have to walk carefully around things in there all the time and its driving me insane. We can clean it up one day and the next day its the same thing. any tips on organizing him? I am thinking of using labeled baskets for his clothing for a start. He is 14. Pictures labels? Where can I download anything that might help me. He actually leaves a trail of things where ever he goes. He wanders at night from his room, to my room, to the spare room and will sometimes go downstairs and eat in the middle of the night and leaves me that mess too.. He is also getting very heavy because of this.
Frustrated in Ontario
Sounds alot like my room, except nobody cleans it but me after I get tired of the mess. Even as a kid, nobody cleaned my room but me. I was very territorial in that sense and my parents knew that. Try making him clean his own room, or remindng him to do so if it is a mess every now and then, or just leave it be and let him clean it when he gets tired of the mess.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
Tory_canuck
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,373
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
Efficient way to clean my room....get a broom or rake, put everything in a pile, then sort it.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
I must agree with buryuntime that you have to keep drilling the skills in keep in their room neat, etc., and do not do it for them. BUT you have to go over it step by step (several thousand times) and they have to know exactly what is expected of them.
Aspies have developmental delays in social, executive function and life skills and the ability to plan, schedule and see what they are supposed to do in situations like cleaning is often part of the Exec Function package they lack.. They can learn to do it by rote or you can see if they if they grow into it. Unfortunately, that may be a long time coming.
The other suggestions about bins and labels will help, but pictures of each surface and drawer looking the way it is supposed to be when everything is in its place have proven to be very successful.
Remember to use verbal cues to describe each item and where it goes while you work, to hit the different learning types.
Some kids are clean freaks who never have to be shown, while others seem to take forever to get that skill set under their belts. Just be patient and consistent.
We use two systems for my son: first, we went through his room together and created categories for each drawer or cubby - ones that made sense to him. Then I made labels of the categories (this is also useful for when his friends trash the room and have to clean it up) Second, he gets 1/2 hour of computer time for a successfully cleaned room - he has all of Sunday morning to do it - if it takes him past lunchtime, he loses his half hour minute for minute.
Sometimes, I need to stand over him and point out the stuff that needs to be put away, but lately, I just say "clear everything off the floor" and it works. I had offered him a number of strategies to clean: clean up everything of a certain category (for instance, all the clothes) and then move on to another category, or start in one corner of the room, clean it completely, and then move to a spot right next to the clean spot. Worst-case scenario, I offer to clean up his room for him, for an hourly rate: he doesn't like losing money, so he spends more energy focusing.
He seems to do better with it as a weekly task. I did go into motherhood fully prepared to allow for a messy room, which I still think is a perfectly valid choice, but I found that if he doesn't clean it he gets stressed out, and eventually he stops playing there altogether. Daily is too much for both of us to keep up with, but it does mean that the mess is bigger.
Vivienne
Toucan

Joined: 22 Dec 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
My son isn't a teen yet but that doesn't mean he isn't messy as anything.
I've got shelves with bins for the toys, labelled (eventually I've become happy if he even drops the toys in ANY of the bins, screw the label.)
His dresser drawers are labelled.
The thing is a schedule. You're gonna have to set a time, every day, that is "tidy up time".
Stand and watch if you have to.
First, organize and label.
Then, explain the organization and labels.
Then, prepare him for the routine clean.
Then, start the routine clean.
Finally, enforce the routine clean by watching and directing.
Bonus: reward based on XX days of clean room. Start small and graduate to a week at a time.
Good luck!
_________________
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
~Thomas à Kempis
"Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
~Shakespeare
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