We have an IEP meeting for my Kindergartener this Wednesday

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It was rushed (with my approval) because we need to get things working for him.

I'm worried sick because his last IEP when he was 4 was a pathetic situation. Based on his assessments, he only qualified for 30 minutes a week for speech and 23 minutes a week (90 minutes a month total) of OT. In our home. That got us nowhere - especially since the OT person showed up ONE TIME the entire semester.

Then, after one semester, we moved and I stopped the therapies. We worked on things at home that they were trying to work on in therapies and we did see some dramatic improvements with speech - he started to do some back and forth conversations (3-4 exchanges) and he started to ask some why questions. OT stuff - he just doesn't want to use his hands (He is at 1% functioning with his hands). HOWEVER, he can draw and write better than anyone in his class - just with a backwards fist. I'm starting to ask myself. Is it important that he ever learn to write like other people? We're not talking about a slight hand deficit, but a HUGE one. He has infant fingers - can't grip with his fingers at all. We try, but he resists because I think he finds it frustrating.

Anyway, I just got a packet from school that had his Kindergarten assessment. I'm floored. They say he has 46% readiness. WHAT??? Said he missed 7/14 consonant sounds. I was there - he did not. What he DID do was just try to do them all in order instead of the letter she was pointing too. Once I said, "Henry, do the sounds she's pointing too, not all the letters" then he got them 100%. If he doesn't know his consonant sounds, like they say, then why is he reading independently already?????

Then, with math he got it all until the said, "What is one less than 4." He thought for a second and said "zero". Then she asked what is one more than 6 and he said zero. He had never heard more than and less than. But if they would have said "What is what is 4-1. He would have said 3. I think he heard 1-4 and that is less than one... and since he doesn't know about negatives, he chose zero as his answr as that 's the smallest number he knows. And then did the same with the more than. But, they don't see that. He didn't understand the words, so he doesn't know the concept of addition and subtraction but he can add and subtract, in reality, quite well and UNDERSTANDS wht that means.

Then, in this packet. There was a math assignment he bombed. Because? They had a baggie of 19 squares. Instructions were to make a group of six with these 19 squares. He made six groups using all 19 squares - 5 groups had 3 squares 1 group had 4 squares - all 19 blocks were used in making those 6 groups. Teacher sees that as he doesn't know how to make a group of six. I see it as he undestands up and BEYOND what a group of six means. He just did't understand the instructions of not needing to use ALL the squares to make that group of six.

I think they see him as not very smart when he is EXTREMELY smart. But does it matter with the IEP??? Is it better for them to think he doesn't have these skills? So then he gets more help? Or is it better to see, "Man, this kid is really smart, but doesn't know how to understand properly or communicate properly?"

I did some searching on here last night about sample IEPs and didn't get much - taking me to sites, but I want to see and hear what others have seen and done with their IEPs.

Thanks! Melissa

i got the same impression with tests, i.e. people who test do not think at all.
regaring the problem, smart kids will figure out what the teachers and tests want when they get several examples, meaning after few classes he will know what they expect from him.
i still remember getting a "F" when i transfered to a new school ( a shocker since i was always top of the class). of course i learned what the new teacher liked so ended up being a A student.

I wish the best for you and your son, in the educational realm.

Absolutely let them understand how smart he is. There seems to be a misunderstanding with communication, but he definately appears to have a strong grasp for concepts which is most important when it comes to learning, IMO. It's important for a child to be challenged and if the school mistakes his way of communicating for decreased intelligence, he will likely become bored (potentially a very bad thing).

I would advise you to tell the school exactly what you believe his capabilities are as well as the misunderstandings with the specific language they use. More importantly, I suggest that you speak with his teacher directly and find out what specific language they use for learning in class and then work with your son to help him understand their language. For instance, in my son's kindergarten class the teacher sends home an information sheet about the exact phrases used in class for handwriting. This helps to reduce the confusion over "mom says half-circle but the teacher says curve."

I think parents are often led towards the mistake of dumbing it down, for lack of a better term, in order to get their kids more services. I believe that it is a better service to our kids if we focus on which specific needs need to be met and address those appropriately. Maybe a child only really needs speech therapy, or social skills help, etc. But this is just my take on it. I tend to question the effectiveness of some of the typical therapies anyway. Good luck!

I don't think they see him as not smart. I think they see that he needs help with getting what they MEAN when they give instructions. Without coaching. In that sense he is less than ready. Readiness is not about intelligence, per se.

Does this mean they won't put him in kindergarten? Or does it mean they will be giving him a lot of help? Putting a kid in kindergarten who is not prepared for it is trouble. My son should have been getting help from the beginning, didn't get diagnosed until 5th grade. I didn't know from autism, I don't know why they didn't tell me what the problem might be until then so I could get him assessed. But school was such a stomachache for him and us. I suggest you ask them what that result means.

I agree with that - but there's no explanation of what happened on the assessment. it wasn't done by a teacher. Teacher only sees: 7/14 for consonant sounds. Instead of "student didn't follow directions for sounding consonants. He was following the top of the page, instead of following my finger and direction on which letters to sound out". They need to be accurate.

Do not sign anything at the IEP meeting. Take the report/recommendations home with you and reveiw them. Give yourself time to think about it.

Get a voice recorder and record the meeting. If they refuse to allow you to record, leave.

Get a binder and keep all correspondence between you and the school. Have tabs for: Notes, Meetings, Correspondence, Acedemic testing, Medical testing and Laws. Keep a log of all phone contact you have with the school.

Find, print and read all disability and IEP laws for your state. Keep them handy. The school is not going to tell you anything unless they are required to.

Keep the attitude that you are going to make them do their job and not going to leave them alone until they do it.

Number one rule to never forget when dealing w/ the school - It is all about money. Obviously your son needs more than what he was approved for last year. It doesn't take a scientist to figure that out. They will offer you the minimum and if you accept it that is all you will get.

I know you are in a rush, but slow down. It will be worth it to take more time and get what your son needs rather than rush it and get half of what he needs.

I strongly suggest you get an advocate or lawyer. If you cannot afford one, you may be able to find a non-profit in your area that will help.

When dealing w/ the school, you have to be a pain-in-the-butt parent and very aggressive. They do not have your son's best interest in mind. They are interested in the numbers, not your son. Don't forget that.

You are your sons best advocate. You know him better than any doctor, teacher, or therapist. You know what he can and cannot do. You know his intelligence. They don't.

Don't worry about justifying why your son bombed an assessment, just think of it this way - that means he will qualify for more help and that you can demand more help.

On another note - the resources available at the school are mediocre at best. You will need to use your insurance or financial resources to get your son the majority of the help he needs. He needs major intervention. I do have insurance but I am paying out the ass for testing and therapies. Doesn't matter - this is my son's future.

I have my son's IEP meeting next month.

That's why you're having an IEP meeting - the IEP meeting should be for everyone to discuss the results of the testing, and to figure out what kinds of accommodations and specially designed instruction your son needs in order to succeed in school. You are supposed to be an equal participant in that meeting, and your understanding of what occurred during that testing will be critical, in the event that the person who did the testing "missed" the reason for your son's confusion. The reality is that your son's receptive language is extremely compromised, whether because it is inherently limited, or because he has so much rigidity in his thinking, that he needs things presented in the same way each time, or he doesn't understand it. That doesn't mean he isn't smart - he is. He also needs help with flexible thinking and with receptive language. Those could be supports presented by an SLP and/or an autistic support person (in small group and/or individually, 2-3 times per week?).

In addition to have direct support of this kind, your son's teacher(s) will need consultative support in order to understand how to present information to him in a way that he will understand during class. They will also need to learn to "check in" with him to make sure he understands the questions being asked. This is not something that can be done during testing (the rules of testing are very strict), but during teaching time, there are many, subtle things teachers can do, that will not stigmatize a child, to make sure that he is following the classroom discussion.

Thank you, this is very helpful. I think his thinking is very rigid. And trying to get him to open up to other ways/possibilities has been a huge roadblock for him and for me.

Try not to let the assessment get you down. Our children's minds work differently, and thus they do not always "get" what is being asked of them. My son's school did an IQ test on him when he was 4 yrs old, and he came in at the borderline mentally ret*d range, which I KNOW is not the case. I was very depressed about it for awhile, but I just decided that I knew that something must have gone wrong in the testing for them to come up with that score, and I decided to just move forward helping him and assuming that he has intelligence, it just may require different ways of tapping into it.

I agree with making sure that the school is doing their job, but at the same time, this is the first IEP meeting. I wouldn't go in there too defensive especially since this is the first meeting at this school. I would just feel it out, and listen to what they have to say, and you know the things that your son struggles with, so if you do not feel that they are addressing these things, then put your foot down.

My son sounds a lot like yours, and he gets 1 hour of OT per week, 30 minutes of Physical therapy each week, and 1 hour of speech therapy per week. This is why I really feel that as parents, we need to spend a lot of time working with our children at home. My son is a young 5 yr old, (July birthday) so we decided to place him in special needs kindergarten this year so that he can get more one on one assistance. Next year we will push to place him in a regular kindergarten class next year. So far, we are very blessed in the school that my son goes to. But, I have decided that if there comes a point where the school is not able to meet his needs, then I will either homeschool him, or look for a private school that will.

Good luck with the meeting! And keep us posted!

We had our first meeting this past August. I was actually very surprised by how great it went. All I ever hear about is bad stories, but we went in expecting the worst and came out surprised. The speech therapist suggested 2 sessions a week and then consultative time with his teacher and then asked if we felt like that was enough. We said we really didn't know as they wanted to give him prgamatic speech and since we haven't ever done any speech, we didn't know what would really be enough. She said we would try it for the first 9 weeks and make any adjustments if it was needed. He also receives social skills group every morning for the first 20 minutes of school and OT just on a consultative basis to help make the classroom more comfortable for him. They have also given him the okay to take a break in the special ed room if he feels like he needs one. Overall, we didn't really expect much, but they acted like they would have given us even more if we wanted it. We just had a our first bump for the year (see my other post.), but overall, the start of this year as been our best since he has started his school years.

I guess my point is that you don't necessarily have to go in there expecting the worst. Also, I still have to do a ton of stuff on my own. I doubt any school can give a kid everything they need. We took our son to OT/PT all year last year on our own and are about to start vision therapy. Yeah, just when I thought I was going to get a break from therapy. I purchased these great social skills videos we watch and act out at home to try and help him. They are called model me kids. They have really clicked with my son. I realize they won't be for everyone, but my son is actually very social, but makes a lot of mistakes and these are helping us. I always knew I was going to have to teach my kids many things, but I never imagined how to have a conversation to be one of them. It can be daunting at times.

As far as his intellect skills. He did okay on his testing. He was mostly average, with a few things above average. I actually know he can test much better, but he doesn't seem to like to take his time on tests. He learned to rush through things when he had a nazi first grade teacher where we used to live, who gave mountains of worksheets and he wanted to rush through them to be finished as fast as possible. We are still working on reteaching him those skills.

I would say unless they are talking about not mainstreaming him due to his testing to leave it be for now. I bet his abilities will become apparent in the classroom. I also agree with other posters that sometimes it isn't enough fo them to know something if they can't communicate it. I know you don't have long before your IEP, but try to let the report simmer for a bit after your first read through. We got our evaluation done the end of the school year and received it in June; however, we couldn't do any meetings until the week before school began. I was thankful for that time I was able to process the information and get over the emotional side and look at it more objectively.

My son started in the public school pre-k system at 3 yrs old, and has had an IEP since he was 3! So far, we have had 3 IEP meetings and all of them have gone very well. Maybe I am just naive or something, but my experience has not been bad at all so far------Who knows how they will go further down the line.

We had a light bulb moment with Henry and Kindergarten last night. Henry has a hard time verbalizing how he feels or what he thinks about something, so trying to piece together what's bothering him about school has been difficult, but last night we got to the root of the problem by process of elimination questioning. We discovered that it's the noise of the classroom that is bothering him. He likes the kids, the teacher, the songs, the stories, etc. But he said he doesn't like the class. More questioning and he said it's too noisy when he needs to work.

Then this morning we were talking and I asked, "Henry, when you think about school, what do you think about?" and he said, "Hurt." I asked to clarify and he said, "The noise hurts. The kids can't stop." Ah....... No wonder he does well one on one with a teacher OUTSIDE of the classroom, he's removed from what's hurting him. Problem is, how do we resolve that?

Also, I found another reason he's having problems. The class moves to fast for him. ...He is very deliberate and precise about everything he does, so when he draws a picture or writes, he does so super precisely - too precisely and he doesn't know how to move on.

So, this morning, like every morning at the start of the school day, I was with him when he was supposed to be making a spider and spout and trace the letters of the words. Well, he took his time and was just starting to trace the words (erasing if he made the tiniest of mistakes) and the teacher told everyone to turn the page and to go on to the next page (this was after interruptions of the announcements and the Pledge of Allegiance and the teacher wanting the students to read along with pointing their fingers to the words of the first page). Henry couldn't let go to move to the next page. He kept saying, "I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry." (meaning, I think, that he knows he's supposed to do what we want him to do by moving on, but something in him isn't allowing him to move on). Of course, if he stays where he wants to stay with finishing the first page, he'll never catch up, forget what comes next and so on. Of course most kids just scribble something and are done immediately. Not Henry. I'll try to talk with him later to tell him that if he doesn't get to finish a picture or words in school, we can always finish it at home later. Not sure that will help, but maybe he'll see it as another chance to do what he wants eventually, maybe making it possible for him to move on in the classroom. Also, of course, if I wasn't standing right next to him, he wouldn't have processed to stand up for the Pledge or to read along as he was too hyper focused on doing what he was FIRST told to do - draw and color the first page.

I'm glad I'm seeing all this and we'll see what they come up with for a plan for him in the classroom. I want to ask to be able to sit in with him a couple hours for a bit so I can SEE what's going on in that classroom (so far they've asked me to not volunteer so he doesn't cling to me). I can figure out what's the problem better than a teacher trying to focus on 19 other kids besides Henry too.

But what IS the solution for a kid who finds a big classroom too noisy and HURTS him? And one who can't keep up to the classroom speed and hyper focuses when he finally does focus (which I think he only does when someone is working with him one on one. Otherwise I don't think he can focus in at all). This is tough.

What a great morning! Much as school will act as if this is "so unusual," what you are describing is actually very common. Breathe. LOL!

There are basically two choices for dealing with the noise issue: one is using noise cancelling headphones (if your son can tolerate them). The other is a smaller, quieter learning environment. If school starts talking about how the only small classroom is for kids who ________ (whatever the issue is, it isn't what you need), you need to stop the discussion immediately, and focus on what Henry needs. If Henry needs a small learning environment that offers a typical curriculum, that's what he needs. The fact that they don't currently have one is not your problem - it's theirs. They need to provide Henry with what he needs. First, they need to figure out what Henry needs; then they figure out how to provide it. If they start with trying to figure out which class he "fits" in, they're doing it backwards - and it's illegal. Be polite about it (if you can) - just say, "before we start talking about what's available, I'd like us to focus on Henry's needs." You might want to check out whether a sensory diet (OT) would help Henry deal with the sensory input, in the longer term. If his sensory issues were more aligned, he might be better able to tolerate the noise in the classroom.

As to the hyper-focusing - you might want to consider the possibility of reducing the number of sheets that Henry needs to complete, in favor of allowing him to complete one sheet to his satisfaction. It doesn't sound like there is any intrinsic value to the variety of sheets, so if he worked for a long time on one sheet, he'd probably have as much benefit as other children are accruing from their multiple sheets. Discuss the purpose of the various sheets, and whether one sheet can accomplish, for Henry, the goals of those sheets for the other students.

Meanwhile, the autism support person needs to be working with Henry on flexibility, so that he will, eventually, be able to move on in a more timely fashion. The autism support person should also be consulting with the classroom teacher about how to handle issues like transition, so that Henry is most able to be successful in the classroom.

I am a bit confused about the early morning situation. It sounds very chaotic - are activities being constantly interrupted for things like the Pledge and announcements? Or do the announcements flow into each other? If work is started, interrupted, re-started, ... the teacher might want to rework the early morning schedule so that things are not as "choppy." At least for Henry, this could be very difficult. Also, Henry is likely to need a schedule posted - if not in the classroom, then at his desk/cubby, so he has a way of knowing what to expect during the course of the day.

It's great that you were able to be at school and see what was going on. Unfortunately, school won't want you there, even though you are probably right that you can understand your child's issues better than anyone else. Since that is the situation, make sure that they do an FBA (functional behavioral assessment) to figure out any "problem behaviors." This includes difficulty with transitions, "failure" to complete work, etc: whatever are the "biggest" problems in the classroom. The FBA needs to be done by a certified behavior analyst, not the classroom teacher (nor the special ed teacher), nor anyone who works regularly with your son. It should result in a report with recommendations, and there should be a BIP (positive Behavior Intervention Plan) that is developed from it. The BIP should be used by all adults working with your son, to increase desired behavior and decrease undesired behavior. It should be positive, not punitive.

What jat says is true, but unfortunately in my experience what your child needs and what the school can do are two different things. You are unfortunately, in an area I was in a year ago. I beat my head against the school over and over until I gave up and withdrew my daughter. Looking back this is what I would suggest to you:

Make friends with his teacher!! !! ! Get her on your side. Consult with her often. See if she will truthfully communicate with you. Unfortunately it is not in her best interest to communicate truthfully, as many schools dissuade the teachers from making referrals on their students.

Take lots of notes. Get a binder now. Take notes every single day. If your son has a pile of papers come home with him on Friday, note how many are incomplete. If your son has issues in class, immediately write a note to the teacher and keep a copy of the note in your binder.

Get the book by Wrights Law called From Emotions to Advocacy. Read it cover to cover and get yourself knowledgable with IDEA.

Unfortunately I would have suggested you not call an emergency meeting as those can go against you. There will be a lot of "He just started, let's give him time to adjust" and they'll try to take the "wait and see" approach.

Demand DATA on your son. Teachers opinions don't qulify. You need quantified data to know where your son is struggling and where he is excelling. You also need to know the qualifications of his teacher. Ask if she has had any autism training. If so, find out how much. He needs a highly qualified teacher knowledgable about his issues.

Above all, please reject any "emotional disturbance" classification. Others will say it doesn't matter as long as he gets wht he needs but it does matter. You put him in a smaller classroom and yes his auditory sensitivity is better but he is in a class with behavior challenged children and can fail to thrive in that

I agree with Bjtao, do not sign anything at the meeting. Tell them you would like time to consider everything. Do not agree to any change in placement until you feel you are educated enough about what can be done and what should be done.

The reason we are so militant about all of this is that many of us have been screwed around by the schools. I enrolled my daughter in public school at the beginning of the 09-10 school year right after she had her neuropsych assessment. That assessment showed her far ahead of her same aged peers in math and reading at age 6. I enrolled her in K. Her K teacher said she was too advanced to be in K (but he also said she was having issues in the classroom such as flapping, flicking her fingers all the time, chewing on things, etc) and they moved her to 1st grade (it is my belief they did this because the K teacher was trying to refer her to Sp Ed and they wanted to find a teacher who could handle her without the referral). That's when our nightmare began. My daughter stopped reading. She began to shut down and hate school. The teacher and principal said not to worry (I met with them constantly). The IEP assessment said she was on grade level and didn't need any supports or mods. They stated the neuropsych assessment was incorrect because "Asperger's could not be diagnosed or detected at age 6". They refused to even assess her for 504. By the end of the school year she had dropped 4 levels in reading (she still is not reading). Her social skills, sensory problems, and anxiety problems had deteriorated and she was spending time each day in the Counselors office with somatic complaints. Each morning when I took her to school she ran away from the teacher and the classroom. The teacher (2nd grade) wouldn't hold her while I left because she said it was "too disruptive to the class" so Grace would take off down the hall and I was left trying to get her into class by myself. The principal told me my daughter's issues were due to "PROBLEMS AT HOME" and that it wasn't the school's job to help her but they were willing to classify her as emotionally disturbed (which the principal doesn't even have the power to do)! I withdrew my daughter from school that very day! I have filed a state DOE OCR complaint that is currently in the investigative process.

Some schools will push you as far as they can and they will ignore their duty and then blame you. The system is broken.

Good luck at your meeting. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Well, the meeting coming up isn't exactly emergency. He hasn't had an IEP with this school system. And, we talked about the problems he was having over 2 weeks ago, but the note for the IEP stuff came within less than 10 days (which is why I had to say that was OK). I need to get him in a better environment sooner than later and right now, he's not getting the help he needs.

The teacher, she's old, and while her kindergarten room is the designated special ed something or other room, I don't think she has the skills to manage NT students AND difficult students.

We'll see what we can try. Henry has a thing about things going on his head (very protective), but headphones might be OK, but he just cannot follow this chaos in the classroom. Of course, I'm not there past 8:55 am, so maybe once things get rolling it's better, but from his not completing ANY work, something's still wrong.

I know they won't let him try first grade because they think he can't handle kindergarten curriculum (which is crazy), but more, he's at a 3 year old maturity. Doesn't that exacerbate the problem? We struggled with our older son being too immature (aug. 29 bday) but gifted. Henry can do everything that our gifted son can do = except communicate and follow directions when he doesn't want to follow directions.