What is the most effective way to make teachers understand?

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Caitlin
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08 Nov 2010, 10:15 pm

So we've been living in a relatively happy bubble for the first 2 months of Grade 2 (I homeschooled my son last year due to an awful incident at school), but over the past few weeks I have seen the signs that his self-esteem is rolling downhill all over again.

He begs to stay home in the afternoons, is calling himself dork and idiot and is generally very weepy, when he's usually a really happy little guy. He's been recounting incidents at school where his teacher, who is a nice lady - but I fear just doesn't "get" aspergers despite the mountain of info I provided to her - she has been doing things like sending him back to his desk when he says the work is boring. Presumably she considers it an insult, so she disciplines him. It is piling up to make him feel like a loser, like he is on the outside looking in and no one understands him - like his teacher is perpetually annoyed with him.

Any advice on how to get teachers to really understand these intrinsic AS traits?

I am so sick of watching the world destroy him piece by piece. Something has GOT to change.


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DenvrDave
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08 Nov 2010, 10:45 pm

Hi Caitlin, and thanks for your very nice comment on my other thread :D

This is the single biggest challenge we have had all through the school years:

Caitlin wrote:
Any advice on how to get teachers to really understand these intrinsic AS traits?


My advice is to try to educate the teachers on ASDs every chance you get, for example during back to school night, parent teacher conferences, IEP meetings etc. Along these lines, I have tried the following:

- In fifth grade I donated money to the school specifically so that two teachers could attend a continuing education course on ASDs...the school took me up on it and me and the two teachers went!
The course may be found here: http://www.educationalresourceservices. ... eminar.cfm
- In middle school I gave the teachers several pamphlets on how to teach kids with ASDs, but these teachers were a lost cause, I think, because they were just so over-whelmed.
- I have hired an ASD counselor to attend every IEP meeting, specifically for the purpose of attempting to teach the IEP team about teaching kids with ASDs.
- In high school, I am constantly telling teachers things like "Did you know [insert trait here] is a common characteristic of spectrum kids."

I think all teachers should be required to take a college level course on "How to Teach Kids with ASDs" during their training, and then they should be required to take continuing education courses on the subject.



Vector
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09 Nov 2010, 3:02 am

Hi--

It's great that you are so concerned about your son and the attitude the teacher has toward him.

You say you gave the teacher "mountains" of information. That's just not okay. It's disrespectful of both the teacher's professionalism and her time. Also, providing an overwhelming amount of information sends exactly the wrong message to someone you need to be concerned about overwhelming our son with information. You've got to lead by example: if you want your son treated with respect and consideration, show respect and consideration.

A copy of "All Cats Have Aspergers" for the classroom library, with sticky notes on no more than five pages addressing how the trait described there applies to your son and helpful hints for working with him when it arises. In addition to what I assume is a fairly massive IEP, that's as much as I think you can reasonably expect a classroom teacher to digest.


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Mama_to_Grace
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09 Nov 2010, 9:14 am

Hi Caitlin, my daughter is also in 2nd grade. We also have the same problem-my daughter does fairly well in a new classroon but as time goes by negative things happen that create a severe school refusal for my daughter-and it happens so deceptively that not one or two instances stand out as problems but the general unsupported atmosphere leads to big problems.

Last year I tried SO hard to communicate how my daughter learns best, what she was having problems with, etc etc to no avail. The more info I gave them the LESS they did. The more my daughter said she hated school the more the teacher said she was just "fine". It was just a very bad fit overall. That was also public school.

This year in a new school I made a decision not to bombard the teacher with too much info. They have the Neuropsych report and that's it. It has been hard but I had to wait until she was able to have some time to assess my daughter and let her come to me with questions. Maybe she's just a better teacher, maybe she is not insulted by asking for help, but this teacher is now "erring on the side of caution" with my daughter. She seems to give her a very wide leeway in completing work and even more so in social situations.

This is the first time I've actually been a bit alarmed at how much she is modifying the curriculum. She gives my daughter extra consideration when she needs it which sometimes makes me worry that she is not as focused on content as she could but then I realize she is doing EXACTLY what my daughter needs. She is trying to find the methods that work.

The point of all of this is that some teachers are offended that you would insinuate they need help (especially in public school in my experience where they don't feel they have to please you like they do in private school where they are delivering a service and strive to be superior in their business) understanding how to teach. A lot of them think that if they've taught one ASD child they know how to handle it. Unfortunately this may just be due to the inherent personality of the teacher. At least where we are, teaching has become little more than glorified babysitting. I don't know why but the level of bureaucracy and inefficiency in our public schools seems to multiply every year while the taxes go higher.

Sorry I am not giving you any advice, I just understand what you are going through.



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09 Nov 2010, 10:02 am

DenvrDave wrote:
I think all teachers should be required to take a college level course on "How to Teach Kids with ASDs" during their training, and then they should be required to take continuing education courses on the subject.


Many states, thankfully, are doing this now. Unfortunately, with the economy in the dumps and education cuts across the board, the continuing education and support part has taken a bit of a hit. I think in the future, it will become essential for teachers to have a good working knowledge of ASD's, but in the meantime, these kids are getting the shaft. Progress is slow, but I hope we'll get there soon.

Sorry, but I have no advice on what to do now, other than to keep on trying to educate the educators yourself. Good luck!



Caitlin
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09 Nov 2010, 10:17 am

Vector, my son has NO IEP because this was his first year with a dx. The reason I provided the school with plenty of resources and info (obviously a mountain is an exaggeration - my point was that the teacher has been given the info she needs to know better) was to ensure my son received the accommodations and considerations he needs during the 2.5 months of school (Sept - Nov 15) that have elapsed before our initial IEP meeting.

This teacher has no prior experience with kids on the spectrum, has no formal ASD training. So I completely disagree that it is disrespectful to provide her with all the information she needs to ensure my son is being treated appropriately in her classroom. Understanding how to accommodate kids with AS is generally not intuitive for teachers, it is learned.


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Caitlin
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09 Nov 2010, 10:26 am

Thanks Mama to Grace. After the initial meeting with the teacher this year where I provided her with lots of relevant resources, including books for the classroom (All Cats being one of them) and a few notes on specifically what works with Simon (ie, don't make him feel stupid when he acts like an autistic) I totally backed off. I did not interfere, intervene, hover or helicopter. I did not overwhelm her with information. I pretty much did as you described - gave her time and space to figure out how to best support my son in her classroom. I've given her 2 months, and considering he comes home hating himself and telling me he's being disciplined for saying things are boring, I'm getting the sense that she just doesn't get it. I am still willing to work with her, she is a very inexperienced and young teacher, so I'm not giving up. But I sure am getting tired of feeling like the professionals aren't nearly as professional as they like to think they are.


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Vector
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09 Nov 2010, 10:32 am

You're free to disagree, of course.

You asked what is the best way to make a teacher understand. I know from twenty years of teaching experience that no one has time to digest a "mountain" of information on one student. Period. I understand why that's not welcome information, but it's true.

Again, "All Cats Have Aspergers." Did you provide a copy of that book to the teacher?


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Vector
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09 Nov 2010, 10:34 am

Good. You did provide a copy of the book. If you had given her just that, she might have actually read it.


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Caitlin
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09 Nov 2010, 10:38 am

Yes I did Vector, as I mentioned in a previous post on this thread.

It's actually even more disappointing to me that you are a teacher with 20 years experience - but not surprising. It just solidifies many of the fears I have for my son in the education system.

I wrote this thread because my son is being made to feel like a moronic loser at school, and the education system is destroying his self-esteem. Your response, as a teacher of 20 years, doesn't even mention my son or his emotional health. It just talks about the poor teacher being given 'too many resources'.

Oh that my biggest complaint could be that my son has too many resources.


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Vector
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09 Nov 2010, 10:54 am

I am also a person with autism who might indeed understand the challenges you and your son are facing. And might be expressing my concern for your son's well-being by encouraging you to show better social skills. I would much rather have you blow off steam at me than speak to anyone at your kid's school like this.

People with autism lack theory of mind. You are displaying this trait in your discussion of this situation. You will get much better results if you do not speak as though you believe that the sun sets and rises on your son: you don't seem to understand that going up to the teacher and announcing that the work is boring is not acceptable behavior. Please read Temple Grandin on how significant it was to her development that her parents did not let her act like that.


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09 Nov 2010, 11:04 am

Caitlin wrote:
So we've been living in a relatively happy bubble for the first 2 months of Grade 2 (I homeschooled my son last year due to an awful incident at school), but over the past few weeks I have seen the signs that his self-esteem is rolling downhill all over again.

He begs to stay home in the afternoons, is calling himself dork and idiot and is generally very weepy, when he's usually a really happy little guy. He's been recounting incidents at school where his teacher, who is a nice lady - but I fear just doesn't "get" aspergers despite the mountain of info I provided to her - she has been doing things like sending him back to his desk when he says the work is boring. Presumably she considers it an insult, so she disciplines him. It is piling up to make him feel like a loser, like he is on the outside looking in and no one understands him - like his teacher is perpetually annoyed with him.

Any advice on how to get teachers to really understand these intrinsic AS traits?

I am so sick of watching the world destroy him piece by piece. Something has GOT to change.


Do you have a gifted and talented program in your school? It might be helpful if he was able to do some more advanced work or have him tested and see if he can bump up a grade. He's trying to let her know that he isn't challenged. She's the idiot if she's making him feel badly over it.

My mother had the opportunity to do this when I was young and didn't. I always wish she would have. I hated school because it was boring and I really couldn't relate to my peers, so it really didn't benefit me at all to leave me at the grade level I should have been in based on my chronological age.

Sometimes its more helpful to approach things directly and offer solutions to your child's unique issues without making it all about AS. Learning about one child will enable her to help that child. I have NEVER met two kids with AS who have the same needs, and books can only do so much. The information you can provide based on your unique understanding of your child will be far more beneficial.

I don't know how many other students she has, but it may be very overwhelming to have to read books and articles to accommodate one student. There are teachers out there who will do that, but I think they're the exception and not the rule. So I have to agree with Vector here. It's also somewhat unfair to think that a teacher should be capable of providing an individualized educational experience for each student. Public schools are simply not designed to offer such a model (though I personally think they should be). If you would like that level of education it might be a good idea to seek a smaller classroom environment.



Caitlin
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09 Nov 2010, 2:06 pm

Vector, with all (very much) due respect to Temple Grandin, she isn't the be all and end all of autism parenting advice. Her experiences are HER experiences, and what she needed/what worked for her in school, has NOTHING whatsoever to do with what my son needs in school.

I realize you don't know me, or have any experience with me, so I'll forgive you for assuming I speak to my son's school the way I do when I come to WP to vent and seek assistance. I can assure you that I most certainly do not. I am PAINFULLY professional and level-headed when interacting with my son's school. I have practically bitten my tongue right OFF trying to hold their hands through the process that THEY ARE PAID TO BE PROFESSIONALS IN.

Yes, I am essentially yelling with my caps lock. If you'd like to know what my son went through last year that led to 2 teachers being let go and me pulling him out to homeschool him, ask me. It was devastating. I am on constant guard ensuring he is not damaged by this sytem more than he already has been.

And as a mother - newsflash - the sun DOES RISE AND SET on my kid. That's the way I'm supposed to feel. That doesn't mean I ignore the interests of all others over my son's, but it does mean I keep his interests front and centre in my advocacy because I am the only one who will. Teachers are there to professionally, and with sensitivity and understanding, educate my son.

That is not happening.

It is NOT OK for my son to come home feeling like he want to die at the age of 7, day after day after day, because his teachers don't understand that they're making him feel like an idiot.

Something on their end has got to change, and I won't abandon my son just because so many others are willing to settle. I will not settle.


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Vector
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09 Nov 2010, 2:38 pm

Please, do tell me exactly what happened last year. Or, if you've written about it, send me a link. I would love to be able to view your situation with more empathy but you make it very hard.


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ksjourdain
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09 Nov 2010, 3:16 pm

I recently took a course on teaching play skills to ASD kids, and the teacher said this great quote, although for the life of me, I can't remember who it was who originally said it:

"Once you've taught one child with ASD, you've taught one child with ASD"

I don't think anyone's experiences, either their own or with their children, can make them an expert on what to do with an ASD kid.



Caitlin
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09 Nov 2010, 3:30 pm

Vector, given that I have had to hold my son while he weeps every night for the past week, because he hates himself, and I try feebly to find ways to make him see how beautiful he is despite how he is made to feel at school, and given that I fear my son will never be accepted in a standard public school environment, and given that our options for alternative schooling are severely limited here and I worry that his entire educational future rests solely on my shoulders with no adequate support from anyone in the public school system - given all of that, I trust you can appreciate that garnering your personal empathy is not something I can dedicate any of my already maxed-out energy to.

If you care to, you can read an account of our experience last year in a guest post I was asked to write, here: http://www.hartleysboys.com/2010/10/4-wray-family.html


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