IEP help

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My 8 and a half yr old son has aspergers diagnosis since May 2009. The district has refused to change his classification and gave me PWN because of thew other diagnoses previously of tourettes, ADHD, and OCD. The Aspergers diagnosis came later. I have tried to explain they are comorbid symptoms of the aspergers but the spec ed dir wants to act like he doesn't believe me and we are " shopping for diagnsoses". The Dr's letter says the aspergers will cause him the most issues with his education.

On Tues at IEP meeting the team refused PT for toe curling walk at school and the therapist had not looked at his bleeding toes or Dr's script or private eval. My MRDD advocate pushed the point and the speci ed dir told us to go to mediation. I brought up the refusal to change category and he lost it shouting off my son's diagnoses one by one and asking what's next he has everything under the sun. I broke down and said he is my son you are talking about and I want him to have a good life, We exited the meeting me in tears and the team never speaking. This spec ed dir was so out of line. We did go to the super but I am so sickened by the process. My son is 8 and has alot more years in the district.

What do you suggest next? They want to meet next week with the super and spec ed and us. I feel like we have been ignored time and time again and they stall the process for services until we get angry. I hate to tie this up in mediation but what else can we do? He is getting B's and meeting his goals but we don't know on what level he is working or how much help he is getting in his work to get the B's. At home he can not work independently and needs hand over hand help. The IEP team says he is doing so well in all areas at school.

Yesterday he ran away from me when it was time for tutoring and had a major meltdown and it ended in a 45 minute standoff where I we missed the tutor and he refused to get into the car and then was threatening to kill himself and jump from the window. I just don''t know what to do anymore. I have tried everything with him from meds to psychologists weekly. He just keeps having these tantrums at home when he doesn't get his way. He was grounded for the night and had to stay in his room and do his work. What might work with these kind of behaviors?

Request an IEE in writing.

Refuse to sign off on their suggestions/minutes/decisions in the IEP meeting.

Go to mediation-they are calling your bluff-you need to calmly and matter of factly follow through on every avenue of dispute. Chances are they will change their tune when they see you are serious. In the meantime log every difficulty he has. Start written communication with the teacher and document every modification and support they are giving him informally.

Go to http://millermom.proboards.com/index.cg ... =Education and post his scores. They will help you with what to say to the district.

In the meantime make a written request for a 504 if he doesn't already have one.

Do not enter into any more "opinionated" conversations with anyone at the school or district. Only discuss facts. If they say you are shopping for diagnoses, just say I do not agree and document the conversation in writing and send it to the person who you had the conversation with. Keep a log of all correspondence-you will need it in mediation. Yes, mediation takes a long time, but doing nothing or accepting their opinions takes even longer.

For the most part, I agree with what Mama_to_Grace said, but if you have an IEP, you shouldn't need a 504 in addition. All the accommodations you need should be in the IEP.

When you write your letter(s) of confirmation (which should become a routine after just about any contact with your school/school district), you often will need to send them to not only the person with whom you had the interaction, but the supervisor as well (think: superintendent of schools, if you were speaking to the special ed director; principal, if you were speaking to the teacher).

Before your next meeting, you should have a clear list of all the issues you want the school to address. Next to the issue, have a space for what the school offers to do. Next to that, have a space for someone from the school to initial or sign the page (they won't, but pretend they will, so you have the space for them to do it). Keep the page at the meeting, so none of your issues gets "lost" in the cross-talking and emotions of the meeting - make sure every single item is addressed! If they refuse to address something, pin them down: so you are refusing to address Johnny's bleeding toes? Write it down in your space as "School district refuses to address." The meeting is not over until you have something in each of your spaces - all your issues MUST be addressed. If you think there are issues about which your school is unaware, you may want to write them ahead of time, to let them know about the issues. It is best for all parties to be aware of what the issues are. Before the meeting is over, ask the representative of the school district to confirm that your understanding of the school district's position on each of the issues by initialing or signing next to each of the spaces, and correcting your notations if necessary.

If the school district refuses to address things, it will not look very good for them in your mediation session. That is why you need to document everything. When they say "then go to mediation," they are waiting to see if you will call their bluff - they are being bullies. Check out Wrightslaw for information about your legal rights and strategies.

When in negotiations it is imortant for them to see you are calling their bluff, but that you aren't being unreasonable. I know some will say that makes no difference, I disagree. I think it is very important to be seen as working with the group.

So.... with respect to mediation, say.... I am glad you suggested it, sometimes it is so helpful to have a fresh set of eyes and ears to help us come together.

With the list (great idea by the way), say..... I want to make sure that I stay on track, so i brough my list to make sure I remember everything.

I always couch my demands in the most reasonable way and try to include a benefit to them. I know we are not required to do this, but these are the folks who have my child for 6.5 hours per day. I want them on my side, even when I'm being a pain in their backside.

I also apologize for being so detail oriented. I say that I need everything well in advance, so I don't make them sit through my analysis of each point. I wouldn't want to make them sit through a 10 hour meeting. lol. BTW, in my emails, I will actually say something like the "10 hour meeting, lol".

Since everyone else has chimed in on the IEP issue, I would like to address your last paragraph. I think the first thing to consider is that your son, when he does these things, is not engaging in controllable behaviors, but is instead reacting to stresses and environmental factors around him that he is incapable of processing. Treating the behaviors, then, as discipline matters will go nowhere, and can actually backfire. A great source for understanding this point is a book written by one of our young adult AS posters: http://www.ASDstuff.com . It is free to download and I strongly suggest you spend an afternoon reading it and processing the viewpoint presented. I can't say enough how much difference it made in my relationship with my son when I simply started seeing his behaviors from an entirely different angle. Throw the normal parenting advice the world keeps drumming into you out the window, and figure out what your child is trying to tell you. Odds are, he has real needs that life is not meeting.

While your son may be getting decent grades, he is also under stress, and something is wrong. If that was not true, you would not be seeing the confusing behavior issues that you are. Often, the source for the stress is at the school. That can go deeper than getting the right IEP place; the entire culture of a school affects a child. If the IEP team is as negative as you describe, then many of the attitudes your child encounters each and every day in that place are also likely to be negative. Beyond fighting for the right IEP, you may have to decide at some point if your child is in an environment that is healthy for him. It may not be, and you may need to be prepared to make a change. Just stow that away in the back of your mind for now, but do start taking a very critical look at every aspect of your son's day and experience, and how those aspects are affecting him emotionally. A pretty big order, I know, but it will prove to be a hugely important investment.

The reason I mention the 504 is that was the avenue that I was able to hit them hard and fast on. The Department of Education Office of Civil Rights takes very seriously when a school does not create a "level playing field" for kids with disabilities. So, if it is harder for him to learn than his peers and the school is not mediating those issues OCR can jump in and make very swift and effective changes. When I withdrew my daughter from public school on August 30, 2010 I immediately filed an OCR complaint. OCR accepted the complaint and now the school district wants to "settle" with me in order to avoid a formal federal ruling that their district is out of compliance. OCR rulings can even be used in Civil Suits against the school/district and are on the district's "permanent record". The district now wants to do what they can to avoid that ruling.

These are the rights that DOE OCR has authority over:

1. You have the right to be informed by the school district of your rights under § 504. See 34 CFR 104.32.
2. Your child has the right to an appropriate education designed to meet his/her individual educational needs as adequately as the needs of nondisabled students are met. See 34 CFR 104.33.
3. Your child has the right to free educational services, except for those fees that are imposed on nondisabled students or their parents. See 34 CFR 104.33.
4. You child has a right to placement to the least restrictive environment. 34 CFR 104.34.
5. You child has a right to facilities, services, and activities that are comparable to those provided for nondisabled students. See 34 CFR 104.34.
6. You child has a right to an evaluation prior to an initial § 504 placement and any subsequent significant change in placement. See 34 CFR 104.35.
7. Testing and other evaluation procedures must meet the requirements of 34 CFR 104.35 as to validation, administration, areas of evaluation, etc. The district shall consider information from several courses, not just one, including aptitude and achievement tests, teacher recommendations, physical condition, social and cultural background, adaptive behavior, physical or medical reports, students grades, progress reports, parent observations, anecdotal reports, and TEAMS/TAAS scores. See 34 CFR 104.35.
8. Placement decisions must be made by a group of persons (i.e., the § 504 Committee), including persons knowledgeable about your child, the meaning of the evaluation data, the placement options, and the legal requirements for least restrictive environment and comparable facilities. See 34 CFR 104.35
9. If eligible under § 504, your child has a right to periodic reevaluations, generally every three years. See 34 CFR 104.35.
10. You have the right to notice prior to any action by the district in regard to the identification, evaluation, or placement of your child. See 34 CFR 104.36.
11. You have the right to examine relevant records. See 34 CFR 104.36
12. You have the right to an impartial hearing with respect to the district’s actions regarding your child’s identification, evaluation, or educational placement, with opportunity for parental participation in the hearing and representation by an attorney. See 34 CFR 104.36.
13. If you wish to challenge the actions of the district’s § 504 Committee in regard to your child’s identification, evaluation, or educational placement, you should immediately file a written Notice of Appeal with the district’s § 504 Coordinator. A hearing will be scheduled before a Hearing Officer and you will be notified in writing of the date, time, and place for the hearing.
14. If you disagree with the decision of the Hearing Officer, you have a right to a review of that decision by a court. 34 CFR 104.36
15. On § 504 matters other than your child’s identification, evaluation, and placement, you have a right to file a complaint with the district’s § 504 Coordinator (or a designee), who will investigate the allegations to the extent warranted by the nature of the complaint in an effort to reach a prompt and equitable resolution.

Wow thanks for that detailed list of our rights! When do you use those with the school? In meetings? Or in mediation? or just hold onto it for your own info. We did meet with the super and brainstormed where we are going and what is in place. I hope he is putting pressure on the spec ed dir to make things right. This maybe a game they are playing with us though to try to appease us. I have ARC on our side.

I had also heard from another source that the PT should be covered by a 504 plan. The school is so determined to say my child is typical and they see no aspergers behaviors that I agree they are most likely not handling his stresses correctly which is leading to behaviors we see daily at home. I am greatful he holds it together there but that is not the case here. (he has had slip ups there but they don't like to adress them) I will definately download the book. Thanks for all the advice. It is all so helpful. I have worked hard at this IEP for three and a half years but it has not ever gotten less stressful. Everything is like pulling teeth and dragging feet. Does it ever get better? Will they ever be on our side or always diasagree with us on everything? We did go to the superintendent and I did send him meeting notes of the inappropriate conduct of the spec ed dir. I am glad they see my kid as a great kid but the fact is he his has an IEP and that shows there is something they saw to qualify him. We are getting an IEE right now privately at school expense. Sadly the Dr. who is doing it was just named in a huge law suit Mon. by the children that he gave ok for the adoption of the abused kids that were kept in cages knowing of the past record of the parents. I hope he comes through on the IEE since we spent so much time doing the testing with him. He was highly recomended. I just wish we could get a break!

You use them anytime they are in violation of any one of them. So, as per my last post, you immediately write a written request for Section 504 Mods and Supports including evaluation for Physical Therapy (or anything else that will mediate his issues at school).

They have to respond and evaluate and follow through on supports and mods even to a greater extent than an IEP does (because for an IEP they can deem him not educationally in need arbitrarily). The key here is that he SHOULD have an appropriate IEP BUT if he doesn't then 504 will help you.