Parade and Santa Claus
Tonight we are going to the Festival of Lights parade. Beforehand there is Santa Claus meeting and facepainting and all that jazz.
Tyler is yet to be diagnosed (we are still in the meeting with the neurologist stage) But tenetively has aspergers and a sensory processing disorder with OCD tendencies. He's 3, and is really excited about the parade (not so much Santa Claus)
I know that no matter how excited he is now, after a couple hours, not to mention the waiting in the crowd for the parade to begin... it's going to take it's toll. We might have a meltdown. Actually I'm pretty sure we'll have one.
How can I help him to have a less stressful time, but let him have this opportunity to enjoy Christmas Festivities?
bring some earplugs or something less invasive like a headset ( lol) to block the sound? enough sweaters for 2 more kids...a bottle of water....a snack...if you spot santa claus, immediately tell him he will not be forced to go anywhere near him....things like that! and all the rest that only you can know about, since well you know him better than i do
edit: and if santa looks like he is threatening to move your way with a creepy smile, use your body as a shield.....how i wish my mother had done that for me
Have a meltdown strategy. Assume there will be one (if there isn't, no harm done, right?) The instant he seems like he's going to go, implement it. Will you be able to get to somewhere quiet - your car, a family bathroom, a bookstore? Have an escape route planned.
I related an incident with DS a while back that went well - an Uncle volunteered to take him and his cousins to the Lego store. We made clear rules ahead of time, and anytime there was a whiff of him being overwhelmed, we whisked him off to a quiet section of the mall and let him manage his feelings separate from all the stimuli. We took a break for lunch right in the middle so he had time to assess what was going on. He managed to hold it together in a very, very difficult situation, but just barely.
I agree about Santa - you can say very clearly "Thank you, Santa, my son is overwhelmed right now." (if you need to, you can add "don't worry, we'll send you a letter.") Santa is hard on most kids, not just those with AS, anyone who puts on a suit should be aware that some kids just aren't going to appreciate them no matter what.
Don't be afraid to miss "important" parts of the experience if your child is showing signs of stress. Big scheme of things, the experience is not that important. More important is for your child to know that you've sensed his needs and are willing to respond to them, no matter inconvenient it seems. Every so often try to pull away from the craziness and check in with him. Let him take a sensory semi-break, and make sure he is still committed to the experience. You are always going to walk that fine line between being overly cautious and overly pushy when it comes to engaging your child with the world; I know I still am. Nudge, don't push, and remember that the world won't end if you realize you really need to leave before Santa comes.
It's kind of like why I bought season tickets for the amusement park and museum when my son was little. If I hadn't spent a minor fortune for that one day, I had an easier time understanding that I didn't need to try to maximize the experience, and could pace things by feel. It is really important that we always focus on what the child needs most in that moment. Which may not be what we've got planned.
Once you are prepared for having to leave early, guess what? Everyone will be under less pressure, you'll go with the flow with your child, and you'll probably be just fine for the entire event.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
For my DS, a meltdown is assured if we have multiple stressors going. So... Tired, hungry, sensory issues and freaky man in costume - yup, meltdown. But maybe if he's not hungry and tired and sensory issues mitigated, we have a shot at staying. So, whenever I know we are trying a likely stressor, I make sure the known stressors are handled.
I know for us, these festivities usually entail a bunch of waiting. We make sure that someone can take walks with DS so he isn't waiting so much. That helped for the last parade we attended. I held the spot and my uncle took DS on no less than four short walks.
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