Help me I am so frustrated with my 10 year old son

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He was diagnosed with adhd in March. Last month aspergers was added to the list. Others we need diagnosing on are sensory issues and learning disabilities.

I have 3 boys-others are 6 and 3. Husband likely ADHD/Aspergers. I am likely ADHD.

I am losing ground as he is maturing. He is such a handful. He lies, steals $, stuff, food during the night, picks our locks etc.

He has meltdowns, hates change, just is a handful around middle child and other kids. Constantly wants it now, wants his way now, and he won't budge. Getting bigger than me too soon.

He has been bullied on the bus to school off/on and he has been pulled off--that was the meltdown problem as he had trouble telling me.

He has no friends at school. SO I pulled him out of that school.

He has trouble with comprehension in reading. Currently at grade 2 level.

He takes what he wants with no interest of others. He is rude at the table with potty talk and poor table manners.

He is constantly being sent to his room. And I constantly am reviewing how to do things differently. THen it happens again.

I have to keep an eye on him night and day. I have to keep him busy all the time or trouble ensues.

He got on computer and located nude and sex sites. I changed the password. Mr. Wizard here figured it out and got on again. Password changed for now.

He has lots of qualities-don't get me wrong.

I am exhausted. He takes off wherever we go. Luckily he has a normal IQ(high in engineering subjects)

I constantly correct and redirect him.

I just don't know how to deal with him.

I love him. But I am just plain exhausted. I am out of ideas.

He is on concerta 36mg and boy did that help-just think it was worse then. It still is bad.

I want him to be happy. I want our family to exist. Can't go a whole lotta places with him. He is over the top.

Advice is all I want. Give it to me--I am listening!

sum ppl wiv aspergers go through stages like these, whoa i was a handfull around ur sons age and i kept on having "violent outbursts" without knowing it, it could be that or sumthin else.
What happened with me, and it worked was to have a chart thing to show how he was feeling.
It was like this. having bad things on one side and good things on the other.

good, bad

I'm happy, I'm sad
I'm excited, I'm unhappy
I don't know how i feel, I don't know how i feel
Im very excited, I'm angry
I feel good, Its unfair

Also i belive reintroducing something like a naughty chair would be a good way forward but only have 1-2 mins

And recomend him to the site lol

dang i hit my stubborn streak around 12 or 13 and my parents thought that was pretty bad.

but like solid said remmeond him to the site i know talking on here helped me alot, infact i am able to control a story in my head that consumed my life and i thought that would never happen. it seemed venting about it really helped and hearing other's stories helped also.

maybe he could do the same just not so much that he gets band.

but anyway i'm not saying i'm an expert but this site has helped me alot so you could give that a shot.

potty talk? is that like swearing?

swear words and any physical part of his body.

A little young for chatroom, no!

Is not that communicative-talkative yes. About his behaviour and what he goes through, no. Might look into that. He needs to talk to someone.

What about your other boys? There is much disagreement in the psychological community about the possibility of AS and ADHD being comorbids. In diagnosing, one usually rules the other out.



Does he have hard/fast rules at home? A set in stone schedule? A plan for when the schedule needs to change? Consistency is essential for him.



Was that the sole reason?



Does he have an IEP? Is he getting tutoring? Any accomodations? Any therapy?

well i hope you can get some help, so good luck with that.

our son's behaviors were much worse when he was only getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep per night. we only found out abuot the sleep problem when the dr asked how well he slept....how much sleep is your son getting ? any ideas?

i tend to get really nasty when i don't sleep too.
i also have times when i get like no sleep for a couple of days about 5 or 4 hours a night and i'm so jumpy and i can't stop laughing.

xemnas: ...........
what.
xemnas: weird girl.
well at least i don't tear off peoples heads in the morning.
xemnas: it's how i ease into the day.

U can always supevise him on the site, so he doent go on the chatroom

What about your other boys?

Middle child is shy. Has comprehension issues. Can read very well. But has trouble saying what he wants to say. Takes a long time to express his ideas.

Youngest is very hyper and he is a double of my oldest at that age. No sitting at storytime and wants to run everywhere. Very hyper. But time will tell if he is just being a little boy or not.

Does he have hard/fast rules at home? A set in stone schedule? A plan for when the schedule needs to change? Consistency is essential for him.

We have rules. Like riding bike without helmet-lose bike priviledge. Though find too many of it he ends in his room for a while. Schedule is very hard for me to find. I have a lot of issues organizing my life as it is, add kids to the mix, its a hit and miss. We discuss everything and when there is change he is involved. I try to treat him like a mini adult.

Was that the sole reason? Teachers did not understand ADHD. I kept on telling them things weren't right. The school is very academic, so I wanted something that focused on gym too(only 2x per week there). I found the school not very accomodating and they were not active in helping him with comprehension issues. Very little parent involvement in the school wanted. The bullying was just a nail in the coffin, so to speak.


Does he have an IEP? Is he getting tutoring? Any accomodations? Any therapy?[/quote]

He will have IEP in Sept-already contacted the vice principal at new school. No therapy yet. I seriously think he needs some.

He does not sleep well-never has. He goes to bed during summer at 10 asleep by 11 and first one up at 6. Meds had nothing to do with it. He has always been that way.

well i can say i get like no sleep each night like i should be asleep right now.
and lately i've been really jumpy laughing alot just generally in a good mood.
so lack of sleep might not be it but then again i'm probably screwed up somehow.
i should leave this forum cause i'm no help of course it's these times i wonder if i've ever been a good help.

I think your son and you need therapy.. what meds is he on for Add/Adhd.. this could be the whole issue in itself.. we found some meds for ADD made a child vey violent and do things that they normally would not do. FYI we did not see our DX of AS until we put my son on meds for ADD.. Drs theroy is that the meds bring the AS to the surface a lot faster. i think you need to seek help from good drs.. you all should not feel/or live this way..

C

Everyone else said it so well. I also think therapy would be a good start, maybe family therapy with someone who has experience with the issues you all face.

Also, did I get it right that you feel organization issues have made it hard to keep things consistant?(sp.?) It's hard when only one person is in charge of keeping order. Can/does your husband help in this area? Do you get plenty of back-up from him? The aspies in my family (me included) do so much better when everything is in a routine, the fewer changes the better.

Some people here have spoken of trying the gluten-free diet, and food sensitivity issues. Have you looked into any of that for your son? You can find discussions about that on some of the other forums here.

Good luck with your son, it sounds like you are a patient mom and have your hands full. I hope things start looking up.

taking him out of a school just because he didnt have any friends i dont recken was that good of an idea.

im 22 now, but when i was at school i had a terrable time, i was constantly bullied all the way up from age 11 to 17 and i hardly had any friends. no1 wanted to hang out with me because i was not able to fit in.
at the time it was horrid having to go somewhere where everybody bullied me or ignored me, and when i came home my mum would nag me constantly about my bedroom and the way i didnt take much pride in what i look like.

but it wouldnt have done me any good to be taken out of school and wrapped in cotton wool. (so my mum sed at the tiem but i didnt really belive her until after i left school)

thats just goin to teach him that youll get him out of his mess... he gotta learn to do it himself. just becase hes AS and im AS doesnt mean we cannot be able to do anything for ourrselves.

All else will fall into place once you have a schedule and a set of rules. Ask any aspie on here and I would guess that 90% of them would agree with me. I live with two of them, and until I figured that little gem out I was pulling my hair out (I'm a very spontaneous, seat of the pants kind of gal - or WAS).

Moving schools probably wasn't great. You have to educate the teachers no matter where you go. And the friend issue will follow him all his life.

Getting MORE PE would be my son's version of hell. He hates it because it involves sports and lots of spontaneous interaction.

I would get with a good counsellor who knows ASD's.