can someone help please?

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I have aspergers and so does my dad and sister but i also have borderliner personality disorder and its driving me crazy!
its like one min im i love you and next i f**king hate you and its annoying me now i have meds to take but they make me feel horrible and Zombie like
i always try to get help and stuff but when things get on top of me i just snap its like with mum she "Understands" but she trys to tell me how i feel and stuff or when i get angry anf frustrated at not being able to express myself she says "i cant talk to you in this frame of mind and tells me to go away". then when i know im right she trys to tell me that im not right
like eg with teeth brushing, i just cant cope with it it stresses me out to the MAX!! ! and shes like if you dont brush your teeth are gonna go rotten....so now i have 2 things to worry about

all my life seems to be about is worrying:( i just cant be bothered anymore

xx

Psychforums has forums for both borderline personality disorder and aspergers, and there are quite a few people who have multiple diagnoses. You could probably find people who would relate to your struggles and support you there.

I think for those with borderline personality disorder, it's important to keep in mind that your emotions will lie to you, so even if you feel someone is the greatest person in the world, you should consciously realize they probably really aren't all that great. They are people, people have their flaws. If you find yourself thinking someone who you previously thought was great, is now the most evil person in the world, you must take it upon yourself to acknowledge that most people, in general, aren't all bad any more than they aren't all good.

Whether you find yourself at one extreme or another, you should probably take some time out, go for a walk, and reason yourself back to emotional middle ground. AS might give you an advantage in this in that people with AS generally have an above average ability to tackle a situation from an analytical point of view and default to pre-defined rules. Your pre-defined rule should be that, even though your feelings might be valid, they are probably stronger than they should be, thus, you default to conclusion that if it seems like a crisis, it probably isn't.

Not everything needs to be a crisis.

And if you don't want your teeth to rot, yes, you do need to brush them, and floss them. The thing about teeth is that they do not all turn strange colors and rot away. What usually happens is you get a cavity between your teeth that you are unaware of and this either weaknes the tooth until it cracks, in which case they might not be able to save it, or you only discover the cavity when it has breached the pulp chamber and you need a root canal, which is expensive, or just have the tooth pulled.

I know brushing your teeth is stressful. I know you have more important things to do, but this is one of those things where you will look back and wished you took the time to do it, so pretend there is a you in the future, with very bad teeth, and your wish that you took the time to brush your teeth has made it to you in the past (right now). Now be relieved you got a second chance to save your teeth, and take two minutes a day to brush them.

Maybe another way to think about things: if you're presented with what seems like an impossible situation, look for a reasonable work-around. For instance, regarding teeth, I did a bit of research on the internet and here's what I came up with:

A different toothbrush: my son uses a vibrating electric toothbrush, the sensation is completely different and might work better. There are also rubber toothbrushes, one brand is Nuk, others are called "finger toothbrushes" that fit over your finger. In a worst-case scenario, you can put toothpaste on a washcloth and rub your teeth with that.

For flossing, could you maybe use a Waterpik or something like it? Or even the single-use "flossers" that are shaped like a U?

Will changing your toothpaste help? (another forum suggested Omnigel, available from dentists - it doesn't foam as much)

You can also use a floride-based mouthwash for extra insurance after you've tried these things.

Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes, with repetition, your senses may habituate to something that's difficult. I know for people with sensory difficulties this isn't always the case, but it's entirely possible that brushing your teeth will get easier over time. Using something that's less bothersome and slowly stepping up to a regular toothbrush might work. It might also help to distract yourself while you are brushing - for instance, play music or count or tap your foot.

I'm rambling - hope this helps, but I think Chronos gave some very good advice that can be applied more generally - try to look at things from an analytical perspective, and find alternatives that work for you.

On the Bpd, its easy to see how a dx of Bpd could fit alongside aspergers but its the Aspergers that gives you this literal Ability to either love or hate!
However regarding your family, its difficult for them to know how to keep you on the level and if they don't want to seek the information then your stresses will be escalated. Not sure how to answer this except to say they need to read up and accept you and understand your reactions.
With the teeth, try this before hand, it may or may not work. Massage your lips gums tongue and roof of mouth as firmly as you can using pressing pushing and firmness.
Your mouth area should feel tingly and warm. Then put a tiny bit of tooth paste into your mouth and then try brushing. It may help to do this for some as by massaging you desensitize the area and prepare to brush Be firm and to the point where you feel you have woken your mouth up.

This may not work but If it does it may work for other difficult taks too

Be appy aspie x

I disagree. "splitting" as it is called, is a hallmark trait of BPD, not AS.

Define 'splitting' !

Yes thinking about it, my aspergers daughter either likes or hates and ususally it stays that way, she doesnt really alter her view. Where as 'splitting'? Is this when you change how you feel about one particular person?

People with borderline personality disorder feel emotions much stronger than others, and also have great difficulty reconsiling the fact that a person can be both good and bad.

When they like someone they think very highly of the person. In their eyes, that person is nothing but great. If they feel a person has wronged them, or someone close to them, or is doing something they disapprove of (even if they themselves do it) then they typically view that person as completely bad.

They might switch how they feel about someone from one extreme to another. If the person was previously seen as good, and does something to upset them, this thing, whatever it is, is frequently viewed as unforgivable and the person becomes bad in their mind, despite all of the good things the person may have done in the past.

Depending on their relation to the person, this might last a few weeks, months, or years.

For example, if you have a friend with borderline personality disorder, that friend might think you are the greatest person in the world and when the subject of you comes up, your friend will tell others how wonderful you are, but if you call at the last minute to do something like cancel dinner, that might be "unforgivable" and rather than just be mad at you for a while, have a few words, and reconcile, you will instead become Satan, an all bad person who is untrustworthy and a total flake out. Then a few months later you might get a call from this person as if nothing ever happened.

For people with borderline personality disorder people are either divine or evil and almost everything is a crisis.